1. Kitchen counter love notes. The ones Eric tucked in the card he made me for our anniversary took up so much space I had to stand on a chair to get them all in the picture. He said when he started making them, he underestimated how long it was going to take. I remember when it was our 6th anniversary and I thought that was so amazing because I had never been in a relationship that long. That was 20 years ago.

2. Feeling just a little better. Coming here and telling you all that I was feeling confused started to shift things just a bit for me. I also finally found a therapist who is taking new patients and works from the perspective I was looking for and on the issues I have. I’m meeting with her on Tuesday to see if it’s a good fit. Wish me luck!

3. Yup, it snowed. It dropped 20 degrees overnight, bringing lightening, hail, and the loudest thunder I’ve ever heard before the snow came. I am sad the garden is officially done and some of the trees that were just starting to turn gold lost most of their leaves in the storm, but the sky the morning before was amazing and I made sure to savor the gold before it was all gone.

4. Comfort, in all the various ways I find it: good friends, laughter, good TV, texting with my brother, cooking, getting in the pool, sitting in the sauna, meditation, writing, teaching yoga, reading in bed at night while Eric and the dogs sleep, feeding myself what I want for no other reason than that’s what I want, a big glass of water, a warm shower, cuddling with my dogs, sitting on the couch under my infrared heating pad and favorite blanket my niece made me.

5. My tiny family. They are my favorite.

He’s a tough guy, but he hides under the chairs at the vet

Bonus joy: trying a new restaurant, going to a show where I know I’m going to laugh my face off, spending time with good people, having access to the care and services that keep things running smoothly, setting up my new printer and having it be easy, new shoes that feel good on my feet and my feet feel good in, morning walks with the dogs, the magic weirdness of having such an intimate relationship with a whole other species (seriously, sometimes I look at our dogs and say to Eric, “isn’t it weird that there are animals inside our house right now, just hanging out like it’s totally normal?).