Category Archives: Friends

Gratitude Friday

1. Creatures great and small. The butterfly that let me take its picture, the bees feeding on my flowers, baby geese and ducks, the heron standing on the edge of the pond, the two moose Eric saw while he was hiking, the two deer we saw on our walk one morning with new antlers covered in velvet, the dog at the gym who wiggled with happy when I pet him, and my Sam.

2. The side front flowerbed, the first one I planted on purpose, the strip of ground between our driveway and the neighbor’s property line. It’s maybe about five years old now, has shifted and filled in, presented the surprise of Rocky Mountain Bee Plants and a Golden Raintree seedling. Some of what has happened there is organic and some because of my intervention, is wild and intentional, and I love the way it looks, gives me hope that with time, effort and attention, the rest of the front yard will grow and develop in the same way.

3. Cucumbers, zucchini squash, and lettuce from our garden. And even though the strawberries didn’t go as well as we’d hoped, Eric ate one the other day, the only berry on any of the plants, and said it was the best he’d ever eaten.

4. Paid work. I had to go in the other day and it didn’t totally suck, and I do like getting paid.

5. Internet friends, people I met online, some I’ve been lucky enough to then meet in person, who are all REAL friends, people who show up when it counts, make me laugh, inspire me to keep doing good and taking care of myself, a genuine tribe.

loftylookoutBonus Joy: Time away, in the green and the quiet, the ability to schedule blog posts so that even though I might be gone I’m not gone gone, no internet so I can unplug for a bit without even having to try, time and space to do nothing but stare out at the view.

LoftyView

Gratitude Friday

1. Hiking. Woke up this morning to no Dexter. No cuddles in bed, no happy dance while I made his breakfast, no invitation to play with his baby. I am realizing with him gone how much he did to lift my mood, bring me joy, every moment I was with him. He was just such a happy dog, full of so much energy, even with cancer. We couldn’t stand to take our normal walk this morning to Lee Martinez Park without him, so we went to Big South and hiked for four hours instead. It was a beautiful hike, good to be somewhere different.

2. Samson. Eric and I took turns on this morning’s hike walking the dog, the dog we have to share, the dog who has brought us out of our grief over two losses now (he came to live with us four months after our Obi died), Mr. Sam. I can tell he’s trying so hard to know what to do, now that he is the only dog, and I’m making sure to do what I can to love him double and let him know that it’s okay, he doesn’t have to do anything, just be the goofy loveable dude he’s always been.

3. Home to Heaven, kind and wise caregivers like Dr. Cooney who will come to your home to help you let your loved one go, to release them gently from their suffering, all the while asking you all kinds of questions, letting you tell stories about how they came into your life, what you love about them, giving you all the time you need. Other than a brief moment when we thought Dexter might throw up (his belly hadn’t been feeling too good all day and the sedative made him feel a little woozy), it was an easy death for Dexter, peaceful and gentle, and I am so grateful for that.

4. Kind, generous friends. I’m not talking about just my local people, I mean all of you out there, people I barely know or have never even met, all of my kind and gentle readers and friends sent us so much love and support yesterday and into today. Knowing we are so loved, being sent so much good energy, made things much lighter — I did not have to carry this sadness alone. We absolutely were not alone in our loss, and I am so so grateful.

5. Eric. I have no idea how I would have made it through Dexter’s (and Obi’s) cancer and loss without him there to support me, to suffer with me, to cheer me up, hold me when I cry, cry with me, help me make the hardest of decisions. Having the right partner, a good fit and a good person, is such a blessing.

Bonus Joy: We didn’t make it a whole week this time, but still I am so grateful for our final days with the sweet Mr. Dexter. These are the last two pictures I ever took of him. I miss him so much, but I’m so glad he won’t have to suffer anymore.

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