Category Archives: Blogiversary

Five Years Ago

divein

Five years ago. This was today’s prompt for August Break. I looked at Timehop first to see what I might find there, but there was only one thing — a Facebook post about how I wanted to “take a riverboat cruise in Europe with lots of old people and wine,” (still want to, btw). Next I found my journal from then and started to read through my morning pages. There was lots of the same old work and family drama, some about my struggle with my eating disorder, and other stuff about the dogs, (at the time Sam was just barely not a puppy anymore and Dexter was eight).

Then I realized that five years ago was when I started this blog. Five years and two days ago to be exact, a post titled simply, “Beginning.” The anniversary of that passed without me even noticing. I was distracted by coming back to work and WordPress didn’t remind me.

I’ve written 1583 posts in five years. A lot has changed in that time, and a lot has stayed the same. I’ve learned so much, cried so much, laughed so hard, and shared so much good stuff. This practice, this space, my kind and gentle readers, is one of the best things that’s ever happened to me, one of the best things I’ve ever made happen. I can see how it might morph over time, the design and what I write about and what I have to offer, but I can’t imagine ever giving it up. Thank you so much for showing up. ❤

It’s My 3rd Blogiversary!

Way back in the beginning

Way back in the beginning

Three years ago today, I wrote my first blog post. I titled it “Beginning,” and talked about a fortune from a cookie that is still, three years later, taped to my computer monitor: “Begin…the rest is easy.” In that first post, I talked about the difficulty of starting, the sadness I felt about how long I’d been stuck, and how it was that I finally woke up — stopped waiting for something to happen and happened.

So much has changed in three years. Dexter got cancer and died, some really painful and pretty awful family stuff happened (things I haven’t shared here because they aren’t my stories to tell), we got Sam and then we got Ringo (my echo dogs), my job at CSU continued to change shape, I went into therapy for my disordered eating, I traveled, I essentially did a second Master’s degree with a curriculum of my own making (ecourses, videos, lectures, books, workshops, and retreats), I found my voice, I found my tribe, I shared my writing in other spaces as well as here, I became a certified yoga teacher, and I got really clear about what I want, what I have to offer.

Just yesterday was a really good example of how different my life is now, three years later. I spent the morning meditating and writing, an interview I did with Andrea Scher for her Morning Mantras class went live (we talked about “No mud, no lotus”), I finished a project at CSU that my department chair said was “one of the most stunning things I have seen,” telling me “I think you’re a genius,” and an open love letter I wrote to Cheryl Strayed that I’d posted…well, she read it and tweeted me about it.

cherylstrayedtweet

Blogging has given me so much. As I’ve put in the effort, focus, and time, it has returned to me:

  • A tribe of like-minded people making similar efforts and supporting mine, connection and community
  • Kind and gentle readers
  • My own voice — clarity about my truth, a direct relationship with my experience, a way to work with my story
  • Confidence, as Susan Piver describes it, “the willingness to be as ridiculous, luminous, intelligent, and kind as you really are, without embarrassment”
  • The opportunity to share my work in other spaces
  • A public place to practice, which provides accountability and acceptance

Three years has always been a magic number for me. Any time I make a shift, a transition, a move, a change, I know that it will take me three years to get comfortable with it, to settle in. This has always been true for me. The same is so with blogging. I’m comfortable and confident now. I feel like I know what I’m doing, and I can do it with relative ease — I’ve got this.

When I think a little bit ahead, I see a clear path. I don’t mean there are no obstacles, but rather I know where I’m going, feel like I can find where I am on the map, have the right equipment and supplies and support necessary to reach my goal. My most immediate intentions are to finish my Self-Compassion Saturday ebook, begin the real work of putting together the other book I’ve been carrying around, make other offerings, (such as ecourses, in person workshops, classes, and retreats), settling even deeper into my practices, taking the first steps towards becoming a meditation instructor and possibly a coach, and continuing to heal in the places where I’m suffering or stuck. And always, always continuing to blog about my efforts to transform, to rehab my life, to ease suffering in myself and the world.

I’m so grateful to you, kind and gentle reader. Whether you are new here or have been with me the whole three years, your loving witness to my story means so much to me. I adore you.