Author Archives: jillsalahub

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About jillsalahub

Writer & Contemplative Practice Guide holding space for people cultivating a foundation of a stable mind, embodied compassion and wisdom. CYT 500

Something Good

1. Poetry: To the Self Who Thinks Faster Is Better and Oh the News from Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer, To Ashes and We’ll Find It from Julie Barton, Without You from James Crews, and Regret Nothing by January Gill O’Neil shared on Heart Poems.

2. Like, but not entirely the same: On similes by Pádraig Ó Tuama on Poetry Unbound.

3. Only so many mornings to look around and love. “My mother left us last Wednesday” from Elissa Altman. *sigh*

4. In Which I Eat The Food Crime Known As Kraft Apple Pie Mac & Cheese from Chuck Wendig on Terrible Minds.

5. From The Beautiful Mess by John Pavlovitz: I’m Not Saying Jesus is Anti-MAGA, Jesus is Saying That and Dear Phobic Christians, Love LGBTQ People Or Leave Them the Hell Alone and Confessions of a Former Christian, which says,

I’ve lived with this delusional idea that my personal faith in Jesus should drive me to the marginalized and the hurting, that it should move me to defend those who are alone and invisible and voiceless, that my Christlikeness alone was the mark of my faithfulness. I’d been led to believe that a life marked by goodness and gentleness and peace was the desired yield; the visible, proving fruit of my deepest spiritual convictions. Boy, did I get duped.

6. A Book That Changed My Life, “& John Green on seeing the unseen—and how one story helped me find my way back to the human story” on
The Isolation Journals with Suleika Jaouad.

7. Season Change Making You Feel Squirrely? Here’s Some Things To Try from Justine Taormino. I’m so glad Justine is publishing again. I missed her voice.

8. Creative gift ideas that won’t break the bank or the planet, “shop indie, shop early” on Earth & Verse by Alix Klingenberg.

9. The Love Poem Andrea Gibson Wrote for Their Widow … and for You on the Modern Love Podcast from The New York Times. (gift link) “Andrea Gibson and Megan Falley were two poets in love. In the wake of Gibson’s death, Falley is figuring out what that love looks like now.”

10. One Four Two Five Old Sunset Trail: On the last days of Gene Hackmanwhich included this (*sigh*):

What is normal in the state of dementia, where connections are not being made, where tangle is all, objects take on a curious aspect, and where there is an unpleasant flavor to the hours? And where so much, so very much, seems impossible . . . It is difficult to speak with those who have dementia, to reason or remember with them, to reassure them, for of what could they be reassured. . . ? Our love cannot redeem them, it might even pain or confuse them. Mind can no longer guide or assist them, not theirs or yours, not anyone’s. They cannot be found anymore. Dementia is not a disease but a condition, a condition not exclusive to the human animal, though that is its preferred stage, upon which it can display its specialty, the inelegant final act. The curated self, and whatever reputations it affected, vanishes.

11. From Patti Digh: The circumference of the unspoken (“silence has a shape”) and The noise I mistook for meaning (“Not chasing, but receiving. Not making, but noticing”).

12. 8 Gentle Ways to Find Peace When You’re Stressed or Overwhelmed from Courtney Carver on Be More With Less.

13. Going Dark by Isabel Abbott.

There are seasons when nothing seems to move forward, when projects stall, momentum hits pause, energy evaporates, when leaving my apartment can feel like an ordeal of epic proportions. I can push against it if you want. And this is what I know best. How to push, resist, fight, force. So I can force yourself to stay lit. But there’s a point where that insistence starts to feel like violence against myself.

This year, I’ve decided to stop pushing.

To stop performing aliveness and simply live.
To stop talking when I have nothing to say.
To stop mistaking productivity for proof of worth.
To stop making big plans to alleviate the dread and let the falling happen.

I am learning to trust the dark.

14. I Really Wanted My Grandmother to Die, “And I’m no longer ashamed about it” on Open Secrets Magazine.

I could no longer see a person when I looked at my grandma. I say now without shame for myself or judgment for others who have thought the same, that I wanted her to die. Because what I really wanted, and what I believe the majority of people who have had similar thoughts really want, is to wish them peace.

When death did come, it wasn’t really a relief, though I was suddenly free to remember her as she was without being confronted by who she had become.

15. It’s not Monday, but isn’t that nice? from Jenny Lawson on her Substack Let’s Art Together. “I am not lost. Simply making my own maps.”

16. Denmark passes social media ban for users under 15. “The Danes join a growing list of nations that ban or restrict social media for minors.”

17. Come See Me in the Good Light is a love letter from the afterlife. “A film about her wife’s terminal cancer diagnosis has helped Megan Falley find a joy for living in the face of death.”

18. Am I Being Ghosted? “What to do when the signs stop” by Megan Falley.

19. Journey Announces Plan to Finally Go Separate Ways, With Farewell Tour Set to Begin in 2026. Which reminds me of one of the best music documentaries of all time (and I’ve watched a LOT), Don’t Stop Believin’: Everyman’s Journey. *sigh* I love Journey.

20. The Medicine of Surrender, Poetry, and Metaphor With Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer on Wise Effort podcast.

21. ‘I enter a room and people say: “God just walked in”’: Morgan Freeman on voicing the divine, meeting Mandela – and his six decades on screen. “The 88-year-old actor has appeared in more than 100 films, playing everyone from presidents to prisoners. Here, he reflects on AI’s ‘robbing’ of his voice, not believing in Black History Month – and why he’s nowhere near retirement.”

22. The Soccer Mom Who Strikes Fear Into the Heart of ICE. “Meet Angelica Vargas, one of the most prominent of a new kind of activist: the ICE chaser.”

23. How Men and Women Spend Their Days from Flowing Data. “Estimates are based on data from the American Community Survey, which asks participants to log what they do during a 24-hour period. The survey runs throughout the year and data is released annually. This is data for 2022 through 2024.”

24. ‘Au 8ème Jour,’ an Award-Winning Animated Short Film, Weaves a Cautionary Tale.

“It took seven days to create the world; it only took one to disrupt its balance,” says the tagline for an award-winning animation by a team of students in France. “Au 8ème Jour,” which translates to “On the 8th Day” in French, uses CG, or computer-generated animation techniques to create a three-dimensional world in a stop-motion style.

A multitude of vibrant animals and landscapes appear sewn from fabric in the film’s otherworldly realm, each tethered to a single piece of yarn that connects it to a kind of central energy force—a vibrant, tightly-wrapped skein in the sky. But when mysteriously dark tendrils of black fiber begin to leech into this idyllic world, families and herds must run for their lives.

25. The problem with self-help gurus from Matt Davella. (video) Here’s another great video from Matt, Why everyone is quitting social media.

26. 13 Unexpected Health Benefits of Walking and How to Make a Habit of It.

 

 

Gratitude

1. Morning walks. We snuck in a few more golden trees this week, as the warmer weather has lingered and we haven’t had any hard frosts or snow yet. 

2. Practice. Red Sage yoga with some of my favorite people and one puppy, Friday morning writing with some amazing humans and poems, reading so many good books, and my meditation practice still trying to find its place, happening at random times but no less precious.

3. An average of 300 days of sun per year. I’ve been hearing from Oregon family how miserable it was there last week, stormy and gray. I’m so glad we landed somewhere that has all four seasons but also more sun and less moisture. Even when it snows and is the coldest it gets, there’s more light here than where I grew up, and I’m so grateful. And yes, I also complain all summer long that it is so dang hot. 

4. Good books, TV, films, poetry, comedy, and music. This week, I finished It Lasts Forever and Then It’s Over, a wonderful and weird contemplation of love and loss from the perspective of a lesbian zombie after an apocalypse that reads like a long form poem. This week’s editor’s note at the beginning of the “Weekend Reader” email from Lion’s Roar says, “I couldn’t help but liken the main character’s journey to the bardo. Bardo is a Tibetan word, often referring to the period between death and rebirth, or more generally the transition space between two states of being. It is the period of change from one reality to another.” I finally watched Past Lives, which really feels more like a play than a typical film, and the final scene just gutted me. I also started rewatching Somebody, Somewhere, which is one of my comfort shows. I’m reading the new poetry collection from James Crews, Turning Toward Grief: Reflections on Life, Loss, and Appreciation, and it’s just so good. I am looking forward to seeing Maria Bamford at The Lincoln Center (my favorite local venue in part because it’s only about five minutes from my house). And I have been obsessed with this song, Malleable by Tiny Habits, since I heard it a few days ago even though it is a year old. It reminds me a lot of Rosie Thomas.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. My friend Cynthia said to me recently, “you’ve got backup, Eric and Ringo,” meaning I’ve got support, that it isn’t just me against the world. She’s absolutely correct. If nothing else goes “right” for me, I’ve already got everything I need, everything I ever wanted. I was telling my therapist this week that all I wanted when I was a kid, when I imagined my adult life where I would get to choose for myself, that I just wanted a partner who loved me and made me laugh, time to read and write, and some dogs. And look at me now. 🙂 ❤

Bonus joy: free geraniums from Eric’s campus nursery, slowly decluttering and cleaning our house, “trading some,” other people’s kids and dogs, looking forward to Christmas lights, gummies, Reese’s holiday shapes (hearts, eggs, pumpkins, bats, ghosts, Christmas trees, etc. — because they have less chocolate and more peanut butter filling), a hot cup of coffee, a warm mug of green tea, toast, getting books from the library on my Kindle, that Ringo is aging so well (better than me), being able to start over and begin again no matter how many times I need to, book club, that there was a single ticket left right next to Chloe’ and Barb and Eric and Jen wanted my pair of tickets, the cute plush blue heeler stuffed toy I got for the neighbor’s new baby (that is so cute I want to keep it but I already have two, see below, and don’t need anymore — right?), clean sheets, a warm shower, a sandwich (so weird how something so simple just hits the spot sometimes), onion rolls, down blankets and pillows, a couch that is comfortable enough to sleep on, cuddling with Ringo (which is very rare but does happen, is more likely once it starts getting cold out), the holiday lights in Old Town, poetry collections, true crime, grocery shopping, sitting in the backyard in the sun with Eric and Ringo, reading on my Kindle in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.