Monthly Archives: May 2023

Something Good

1. This is Not Just a Post About Dog Grief from Anne Helen Petersen. “It’s not normal, or ironic, or even slightly funny that we’re this bad at making space to process loss and suffering. It’s fucked up, and I’m increasingly convinced it’s at the heart of our national regression. Around Covid, of course, but also around mass gun violence, and addiction, and eldercare. We have so little language to describe the onset of grief in our lives, and so little expectation of accommodation for it. We don’t know how to be still in our sadness.” Amen.

2. Mark Nepo: The Half-Life of Angels(Podcast) “How do we know our own authenticity? How can we return to our hearts when we find we’ve left them? As we evolve and change along our journey, how do we relate to the ‘former selves’ in our past? In this podcast, Tami Simon and poet-philosopher Mark Nepo address these questions and more, as they discuss his creative process; his new book, The Half-Life of Angels; and how we can each touch the ever-present and wholly miraculous ‘spark of becoming’ waiting to guide our lives.”

3. Recipes I want to try: Apple Pie Energy Balls, and Chocolate-Peanut Butter Energy Bars, and Blueberry-Lemon Energy Balls, and Caramel Rice Krispie Treats (I actually made these last night and I think I may need an intervention because I CANNOT STOP eating them!), and Brown Sugar Rhubarb Cookies, and Lemon Oatmeal Sugar Cookies.

4. The Mothers from Cheryl Strayed. in related news, Sometimes Mother’s Day is complicated—just like motherhood.

5. 16 Things You Should Never Do to Your Introverted PartnerIn related news, 5 Things Extroverts Get Wrong About Introverts and 6 Ways for Introverts to Get More Energy.

6. What Glimmers Are You Noticing These Days?

7. Quitting is a wildly underrated life strategy. Here’s why.

8. 7 Simple Mindfulness Exercises You Can Easily Fit Into Your Daythat aren’t meditation.

9. Falling Ina poem from Rosemerry Wathola Trommer.

10. Lidia Yuknavitch & Laurie Wagner: The Braided EssayLive Online :: Monday, May 22, 2023 (8-9:30am Pacific). If you can’t make the life session, Laurie does record the conversation.

11. On Making Art Work: I do not control the creative process.

12. Piano duets with mysterious neighbour(video) So sweet; so sad.

13. On gardening: The 26 Best Perennial Flowers for Any Garden, and 3 Reasons You Should Always Plant Marigolds in Your Garden, and 10 Reasons To Grow Lemongrass No Matter Where You Live, and 18 Ways To Get Free Plants For Your Garden and Home, and 15 Long Blooming Perennials That Flower All Summer Long.

14. 43-year-old used her life savings to open a bar that only plays women’s sports—it brought in almost $1 million in 8 months.

15. Photographer Gabriele Galimberti Captured Children Around The World Showcasing Their Toy Collections.

16. Hannah Gadsby on Marriage, Autism, and Their New Comedy Special.

17. This couple paid $200,000 for their 180-year-old rainbow farmhouse and spent just. as much on renovations—take a look inside.

18. Here’s the Bird That Matches Each Zodiac Sign, Because They All Wish They Could Fly.

19. Eat more beans. Please“Beans are protein-rich, sustainable, and delicious. Why doesn’t the US eat more of them?”

20. Perils of the Off-Leash, Friendly Dog. “Contrary to popular belief, a well-socialized dog is not one that runs up to and enthusiastically greets every person or dog they see any more than a well-socialized human is one who runs up to and hugs and kisses every stranger they see. If a human did that, they’d likely and justifiably end up hurt because the behavior would be perceived as so inappropriate as to be indicative that the enthusiastic greeter was dangerous, and the person being greeted would likely feel the need to protect themselves. Dogs are no different. It’s just not polite social behavior to run up to and forcibly greet a strange and unwelcoming dog, no matter how friendly the greeting is intended to be.”

21. In ‘Still,’ Michael J. Fox shares his life with Parkinson’sIn related news, Still: A Michael J Fox Movie review – an intimate, uplifting star portrait.

22. Dried Botanics Pressed into Delicate Fauna Compositions by Artist Helen AhpornsiriIn related news, Beautiful Botanicals Are Preserved as Meticulously Arranged Flower Press Art.

23. Heather Armstrong’s friends remember the Dooce.com blogger’s complicated legacy“In writing candidly about the darker dimensions of her day-to-day experiences, Armstrong stood in solidarity with other women, embodying a basic truth: the joys of motherhood are often inextricable from the physical pain and emotional struggle that comes with it.”

24. Canada’s ‘Most Photographed House’ May Meet the Wrecking Ball on The New York Times.

25. Origami Artist Reimagines Trees With Leaves Made of Tiny Paper Cranes.

26. Intricate lifelike insect sculptures made from bamboo by Noriyuki Saitoh.

27. At 81, Martha Stewart Is the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue Cover Star on The New York Times. “The domestic diva talks about shedding her inhibitions, and (most of) her clothes, for the cover shoot.”

28. 14 Simple Yet Effective Tips To Help You Rebuild YourselfBeen there, done that.

29. Woman Uses Her Work Commute to Snap Portraits of Strangers with Her iPhone.

30. How one man repopulated a rare butterfly species in his backyard.

Gratitude

1. Morning walks. As it is spring, three things are unfortunately true about taking a walk: you have to go out really early to catch the sunrise, this is our rainy season so you also have to closely watch the forecast and many days avoid the dirt (mud) trails, and it’s tick season (we just found the second one in two weeks on Ringo — so gross!). Other than that, they are still one of the best things.

2. Our garden. Just when I thought our irises weren’t going to do as well this year, I noticed an explosion of buds which will lead to so many blooms. All of my peonies are growing inches every day and also promise many flowers. My friend Janice gave us more raspberries plants and one day when they feel comfortable and settled in, we’ll have actual berries. In the next few weeks, we’ll do the real work of cleaning up and planting our vegetable garden. Everything is so green right now with all the rain. It all just makes me so happy.

3. Family group texts. I got added a couple of days ago to one updating everyone about my uncle’s recent hospital stay. My mom’s family had twelve kids and then there are various spouses and kids that have all kept in contact so it’s a lot of people to keep in the loop when something important happens. I didn’t have everyone’s numbers saved in my contacts and a lot of them didn’t have mine so it was hilarious watching us all try to simultaneously take part in the original conversation and figure out who the heck we were talking to. I’ve managed to get all but four of the numbers sorted and saved. I had to learn to not interrupt people as an adult, that not everyone had the same conversation style as my family. I wasn’t being rude (but people took it that way) it’s just that in my family to be able to say anything and be heard, you had to gauge when someone was just about finished and talk over the top of them. If you waited until they were done and quiet, it was too late because someone else would already be talking and you’d lost your chance.

4. Being alone at home. Sometimes I wish I were more social, more adventurous, more extroverted, but I am SO not. And really, at the end of the day, I’m okay with that. 

5. My tiny family, tiny home, tiny life. Four years ago today, when I was working my last week at CSU, I posted this on Facebook: “Went to my CSU office yesterday to bring home my plants and clear out most everything else. It felt so good taking that step. In my own often quiet way I’ve been planning this exit, dreaming of this letting go for almost ten years. I can trace it back to that awful year when both Obi and Kelly were diagnosed with cancer, and that next unbearable year when they both died. I looked at my life then and realized I wasn’t fully living what was true for me and vowed to change that. Mostly what I want to share is that real change often takes a lot of time and effort, and you don’t have to want or have a large, loud life. Having a small life that is wide and deep and quiet and slow is just as valid.” Still so true, maybe even more so.

Bonus joy: the weekend, dark chocolate covered walnuts, taco salad, finding both ticks on Ringo before they had been there long enough to do any damage, listening to podcasts, watching good TV and movies, making Eric laugh, cooking together, crows, other people’s dogs, credit card awards, a massage from Dana, making some progress on cleaning up my office, being able to do what I need for myself, curly hair, texting with my brother and mom, making art with Janice, checking in with Chloe’ and Mikalina and Chelsey, other people’s gardens, redbud trees, peony tulips (I need to get some of these), the farmer’s market, the food truck rally, being able to go to a movie theater again, trying new recipes, sitting in the backyard or on the couch with Eric and Ringo going nothing, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.