1. Truth: I’m doing the best I can. This morning it was hard to know what to do. I’d slept terribly. I felt equal parts numb and raw, and my heart hurt. I fell back on what Susan Piver (and Sakyong Mipham Rinpoche) teaches about building confidence, five things you can do. I meditated, did my writing practice, cleaned up my kitchen, put away the laundry, did my physical therapy exercises, took a shower, and made myself a good breakfast — Dave’s Bread, eggs from a friend’s chickens, Tillamook cheese, organic fruit and veggies, a tall glass of water. I felt a little bit better. It made me think of advice I’ve been given before, “do what you can where you are.”
2. Truth: Then I went to work, because I was expected, and working at a university in an English department the population is more likely to share my values, so I knew at the very least I would be among people who understood how I was feeling. Still in shock, I decided to do the only thing I knew how. I walked down the hallway, found the first door open, and hugged the person working there. It was sort of easy because she’s a longtime friend and mentor, but still. What surprised me is how my emotion was right there on the surface, hers too. As soon as we hugged, we both started crying. After talking with her a bit, I walked back towards my office and one of the people in the office across from mine was getting ready to go teach a class. We said “Hi,” and I asked her if she needed a hug. Same thing, as soon as our hearts got close to each other, we both started to cry. Even though I’d imagined roaming the halls with hugs and chocolate for everyone I found, that was all I could do, just two people. And yet, again — do what you can where you are.
3. Truth: I am treating this as a call to action. I admit, I got soft while Obama was in office. I took his presence and all the changes that came with it as progress. I thought that things were getting better. I was wrong. There is so much work to do, and I’m ready. Today I will mourn, but once the shock wears off, I’m rolling up my sleeves. For now, that means giving some money to help the protest at Standing Rock and the Prison Mindfulness Institute. It means being gentle with myself. It means being kind to everyone I see. It means reading what Rachel wrote as many times as I need to. It means lunch with a friend who gets it. This weekend it means going to the Fort Collins Standing Rock Rally & Prayer Gathering. It means doing what I can where I am.
One wish: May we be happy. May we be well. May we be safe. May we live with ease. May all of us do what we can where we are.
P.S. I wish I could give all of you a hug today, kind and gentle readers. ❤
2. Guilt-Free Diet. “The cake won’t be gluten-free or grain-free, but it will be guilt-free, because I am choosing for it to be so. This indulgence will come free of taxes and punishments. It will be made by my hands and eaten by our mouths. This alone, is magic.”
9. You Don’t Outgrow the Effects of an Alcoholic Parent. I don’t like the title of this so much because it implies that these are struggles you are stuck with. And yet, with effort, awareness, practice, study, support, and therapy, any childhood legacy is workable. In fact, it seems like that’s part of the deal being human — working through whatever lingers from your childhood experience, letting go of what no longer serves you, and becoming a healthy, wise, compassionate adult.
In a few days, when this is all over, can we have a big conversation about empathy, what it means, why it’s important, and how to tell when someone is incapable of feeling it? Can we also talk about how those folks don’t make very good leaders and how we can make sure this never ever happens again? Okay, thanks.
16. At Last, a Black History Museum. I know I’m a nerd because right now my dream vacation would be two months off to travel around the US and see all the amazing museums we have.
28. The Messy Truth, a new show from Van Jones. He visited people who are voting for Trump and had a conversation with them, even though he’s “Left, to the other side of Pluto.”
30. Words for the Year, a site where they post “one poem, quote or art selection each day.”
31. From Medium to Book Deal in 12 Months. It’s the dream, isn’t it? I’m just over here writing away and someone sends a message, “hey, saw what you were doing — wanna write a book?” It can happen.
32. Review: ‘13TH,’ the Journey From Shackles to Prison Bars. I watched this finally yesterday. So good, “a powerful cinematic call to conscience.” With the elections in just a few days, the last 20 minutes were so hard to watch, but that’s what the best documentaries do: they make you uncomfortable.
34. Neighbours come together to stand against homophobia. “When a couple has their rainbow flag stolen and their house egged, this neighbourhood came together and showed homophobia isn’t welcome in their street!”
More and more people are realizing that neither our body size nor our health are completely within our control, that we can love the bodies we have, and choose how/if we focus on our wellbeing. More and more people are realizing that diets don’t work and that we can create and pursue health and wellness goals that don’t include trying to manipulate our body size — or consider that to be a goal worth celebrating, or even talking about.
Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray) 