Three Truths and One Wish

Juxtaposition

Juxtaposition

1. Truth: Trying to make money from my art, from what I love to do, can be confusing and frustrating. It seems like unless you are a celebrity yoga teacher or have a best selling book, the reality is that being a teacher and a writer aren’t very lucrative careers. I don’t get paid much (if anything) to begin with, even when I set my own price (which I’m honestly not very good at), and then I might have to pay to rent space and advertise, and a portion of what’s left after that goes to taxes, so there’s not much left in the end.

2. Truth: This could be a deal breaker. If I don’t figure out how to cobble together a reasonable income from that work, I won’t leave my job at CSU and devote myself to it fulltime, at least not for awhile, at least not while I keep finding reasons to stay for just a little longer — until the bathroom remodel is done or we buy a new car or we take that trip. Sometimes this makes me feel desperate, trapped, and sad. Sometimes it makes me want to give up.

3. Truth: Trying to do this as a “crossfade” is exhausting.  Laura Simms talks about the crossfade a lot, that time when you are still working your current job while also trying to grow your new career, so you essentially are doing two jobs. I feel some days like I’ve got three jobs, and then there’s the laundry, and bills that need paid, and my floor is covered in dog hair and the toilet needs cleaned and my dogs are bored and I can’t remember the last time I flossed my teeth and I really want to go to the gym if only I had the time or the energy — and that doesn’t even include the things I want to do because I love them, like read a book or watch a movie or take a nap or hang out with my husband.

One wish: That some how, some way, I can find the means and the magic to make it work. That we all can slow down, simplify things, and feel rested and nourished and satisfied with our lives, however we might choose to spend our days. That no matter how confused or tired or disappointed, we don’t give up.

10 thoughts on “Three Truths and One Wish

  1. aramaticasper

    At least for yoga there’s also the schedule issue… always being on the way to or from somewhere, and trying to figure out exactly where and when you’re supposed to be at any given time. I also have gone through phases where I feel like I’m teaching exactly the same thing (even if I haven’t taught that pose for a year or so). Last summer and this summer I was mostly dependent on yoga for an income. I’m glad I have it as an option, but it is a tough way to try to make a living.

    Reply
  2. Rita Ott Ramstad

    I have been where you are. It’s not an easy place. For me, the way to keep loving my art was to finally decide that it would not be my livelihood. A book you might find helpful (or at least interesting) is Cal Newport’s So Good They Can’t Ignore You. I read it recently and found it very helpful on the whole notion of following your passion.

    Reply
    1. jillsalahub Post author

      It’s funny, Rita, because I’m not really sure if it’s that I want what I love to be the way I make my living, or if I’m just really really really burnt out on the current way I make my living and looking for an escape. Thanks for the book recommendation!

      Reply
  3. lolshelley

    Hugs Jill. I have a friend who used to run a meditation group. She is also a reiki practitioner and would love to do both full time but she said she felt guilty charging people the proper amount. I think Susan has spoken of this too. The thing is, what you are providing is a service, just like someone who services your car, or makes your coffee each morning and they get paid properly. But somehow, when it is connected with things of a spiritual nature, we tend to undervalue the gifts we give. But if we stop sharing those gifts, that would be a tragedy. Value what you do and put a fair and reasonable price on it. Know that if you burn yourself out, you’re not doing yourself or anyone a favour.x

    Reply
    1. jillsalahub Post author

      Thanks for reminding me of the real reason I do what I do, all of it — the impact not the money. ❤ And yes, Susan wrote a really good blog post about this I need to go and find again.

      Reply
  4. Eric Salahub

    Art is worth doing for its own sake. You can ‘retire’ from your CSU job without needed to replace it with something else. That’s the goal I think you should have. 🙂

    Reply

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