Day of Rest

richadlaneI saw this quote from Alex Elle on Facebook this morning, “I’m thankful for my struggle because without it I wouldn’t have stumbled across my strength.” I had a two part reaction to it: a deep down yes, and resistance. I look at the last few years of my life and I know for sure that even though horrible, hard things have happened, it’s because of them that I am so strong, capable of coping with what comes. At the same time, I’m a little angry and worn down from all the work and the suffering, and I want to reject the “gift” that it’s been, what I’ve gained because of it. I just want to be happy. I just want things to be easy.

ringorichadlane

Reading about Cattle Dogs, trying to understand Ringo’s temperment a bit better, I keep seeing people say something like “they are so hard, so much work, but so worth it.” Again — deep down yes, and resistance. He is challenging me, a strong willed and sometimes pushy dog who is super smart. I need so much help to figure out how to best teach him, provide him with the structure and care he needs to become the dog I need. And yet, sometimes I think to myself “what have I done?” I told Eric the other day, “what keeps me from giving up entirely is I know this is the dog we are supposed to have.” Eric answered, “even if he isn’t, he’s the dog we do have so we can’t give up.”

I move towards gratitude, even joy, and definitely surrender. I trust the deep down yes. I am mindful of the resistance while not getting too attached, not letting it hook me. And today, I rest.

 

2 thoughts on “Day of Rest

  1. Rita

    I think, often, easy and happy don’t go together. It’s as if we need the struggle in order to be happy. At least, that’s how it has seemed to be for me. Like you, I wish it were not so.

    Reply
    1. jillsalahub Post author

      I know what you mean, Rita. I don’t think I so much need the struggle to be happy so much as I tend to do everything the hard way and the struggle is where I learn what I need in order to be happy. I sure wish I could find another way. ♥

      Reply

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