Daily Archives: August 7, 2012

Three Truths and One Wish

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1. Truth: I don’t know how to “live a life of dreams while also staying grounded.” I am trying to figure it out, how to surrender myself to the whims of my creativity but still manage to get the laundry done. I’m still not there, that magic “there” I’m so sure exists if I keep heading true north to the land of balance and joy. I seem to either be completely wild or totally frozen, too loose or too tight, can’t find the middle ground, the center of the path where I can plant both my feet solid on the earth while I open my heart to the sky.

2. Truth: I keep making the same mistakes. Even though particular habits of mine clearly don’t work, aren’t bringing the results I hope for, they are habits old and deep, and as such, they are sticky and stubborn. I am comforted by my awareness of these discursive patterns, grateful that I am no longer blind to them, but still frustrated by my inability to stop myself, to make a change.

3. Truth: The most important thing I can do is relax, be gentle with myself. It won’t do any good to try threats or assign blame or smash myself to bits. There’s no bribe, no trick, no ultimatum that will work. There’s no mysterious plan or secret technique or complicated method that I can practice or purchase. I simply have to surrender, melt into this moment, let go.

The bad news is you’re falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. The good news is there’s no ground. ~Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche

One wish: That the places where we feel stuck will start to loosen up, that we will begin to know true freedom, and that the process will be as simple as taking in a deep breath and then letting it out.

*sigh*

August Break: Day Seven

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I love Fort Collins, as much as I love Waldport. Lately, on our morning walks, we have been heading out our front door with no real destination in mind. Sometimes we walk, sometimes we run, sometimes we go to the park, sometimes the other park, sometimes to Old Town, and sometimes we walk the neighborhoods closest to us. This morning, I brought my camera with me and took pictures of some of my favorite houses.

little white haired lady ripped out the whole front to make the most amazing and inspiring garden

love the awning the new owners added to the front, we want one like that, a bit bigger and covered in vines

this is exactly what I mean by a bigger, vine covered arbor

always one of my favorites, with a tree house and detached garage in the backyard

house of god, holy family church with mass in spanish, one of my favorites

it’s hard to see in this picture, but there are so many angles and magic spaces in this recently remodeled house by the park

what you don’t know from this picture is how homely this poor house was before someone loved it enough to fix it up–love the porch they added, want one

my favorite “i will never be able to afford it” house, the porch wraps all the way around the side

oh how I love the side gate and the riot of yellow flowers

there are a few of these in town, shaped like barns, and i love them

another one

the sweetest front porch

can’t you just see me sitting there in a rocking chair with a book?

P.S. I suppose it’s pretty clear to you by now that I love older houses with character, wild gardens, and big covered porches. I love my little house, and it is older and wild. Someday it will have the lush gardens and front porch too.