I am struggling with my need for space. There are two distinct kinds that I am hungry for–actual physical space, clean and uncluttered, and space in my schedule, room in my way of doing things and being in the world. I feel like I did the best I could to clear out all of the things that no longer serve me, to do as Rumi suggests and “ignore those that make you feel fearful and sad, that degrade you back towards disease and death.” One thing that helped me to do so was Derek Sivers and his suggestion of how to decide how to spend your time, how to decide when to say yes and when to say no.
And yet there’s still too much stuff, too much going on, too much smashing myself to bits, not enough rest or play or joy, not enough white space.
White space:Deliberate negative space, empty and yet surrounded and shaped so that it acquires a sense of volume or form, enclosed empty space which makes an essential contribution to the composition, the portion and place left unmarked, empty and unused and unoccupied, intentionally left vacant, the space between or around subjects, the blank space in the margins and at the edges, the unscheduled and unclaimed places on your calendar, separation, void, the area left open, the gap.
I long to clear space, to watch the magic unfold. And yet, I have old, sticky habits that are hard to break. And as hard as I’m working to keep my heart open, sometimes I still chose instead to be numb, to find comfort in disconnection and distraction. I fill my day up with doing, and at the end I feel tired and terrible about not having done what I should, not having done enough.
In her latest post, Happy Birthday to Me, Sunni Chapman suggests, “It’s the looking that hides the finding.” Maybe the trying and the doing aren’t the way to get anywhere after all, maybe there’s no need to change or become. Maybe it’s time to trust the wisdom of surrender, of letting go, of rest, of enough. As Sunni says,
No one has ever been lost, or incomplete. There is only this one seamless, gorgeous, chaotic, mad-wonderful, vivid as all-hell ALIVENESS, appearing as everything, everywhere, at all times. An infinitely full and incomprehensible mystery, that’s constantly shrouded in a super-chatty mind.
And jokester that life is… it’s not til’ the search is dropped,
that IT is finally found. Staring you in the face the whole time,
I don’t know about you, kind and gentle reader, but I’m with Abbie: I’m ready for this election to be over. I don’t like competition, get no joy from a good debate, am so uncomfortable when people are angry and fighting and upset, and hate to argue. I remember once, sitting at an intersection where opposing sides were picketing across the street from each other, random people yelling from their cars or honking, so much noise and chaos, and I asked myself “which side would you be on?” and the answer made me laugh out loud, “I’d rather make everybody cookies.”
And it’s true, I’m a peacemaker. I always have been. It’s my nature. I avoid discussing religion or politics, including here on my blog. Philosophy and faith I’ll talk about, but I steer clear of anything that would spark a real dispute. I don’t want anyone to miss the more important message, to be cheated out of a kindness because they disagree with my politics. I want my blog to be a safe place for every reader, for them to come here and realize they are not alone, to inspire good things to happen.
That doesn’t mean I don’t have an opinion on things. But stronger than my opinion is my commitment to promoting love and kindness, the sense that our time would be better spent changing what we can change than arguing about things we can’t control.
I’ve read a few things in this past week that have said it better than I could.One is Courtney Carver’s Make Your Vote Count on her blog Be More With Less, in which she says
If you want your vote to count, to really matter:
Vote for your health by eating good food, mostly plants.
Vote for your community by volunteering with local organizations.
Vote for your friendships by saying “I’m sorry” and “I love you”.
Vote for your happiness by taking a walk.
Vote for your children by listening to them.
Your health and happiness is not dependent on who will be sitting in the Oval Office. Policy may change, but you will be ok. Vote with your dollars. Vote with your time. Vote with your heart. Make it count.
Right now, we have a chance to take a view that is so much larger than Obama or Romney, Us or Them, My Way or The Highway. Without budging an inch in what we believe and whom we support, we could take a moment, just a millisecond, to imagine that the “other” side feels as much passion, despair, longing, and fear about the election as we do. We could care about each other, American to American… In these attitude shifts, even if we can only hold on to them for a moment, everything is possible. We could at least try.
We are all in this together, we can make a difference in the world, ease suffering, even if it’s just our own, even if it’s only temporary–we can at least try.
One of the greatest enigmas of human behavior is the way we isolate ourselves from each other. In our misguided perception of separation we assume that others are not sharing a similar experience of life. We imagine that we are unique in our eccentricities or failures or longings…When we don’t share the secret ache in our hearts—the normal bewilderment of being human—it turns into something else. Our pain, and fear, and longing, in the absence of company, become alienation, and envy, and competition. ~Elizabeth Lesser, The Open Secret
We have so much opportunity to make a difference. Our true power as citizens, as humans goes so far beyond a single vote or series of elections. Once these events are over, our community, our world will still have the same issues. People will still be hungry, not have access to clean water or adequate medical care, there will be illness and dis-ease, we will still be confused about so many things–the same suffering as the day before. And we’ll still have the exact same chance to change it or ignore it, to help or start an argument or walk away.
Change what you can change. One thing we can all change for certain is ourselves, so start there. Beyond that, get involved with someone’s good work, or start a project of your own. If you need ideas, here’s a list of people and groups doing good work:
Join Susan Piver’s Open Heart Project. This will help with changing yourself, or rather becoming brilliantly aware of who you already are, awake and kind and wise and strong.
Go to Kiva or Kickstarterand find a project or person to help.
The Dalai Lama said, “My religion is very simple. My religion is kindness.” I agree with that statement, “I resemble that remark,” and would add one more thing to it: my politics are simple–kindness. In that spirit, I am working to change what I can change, to help who I can help, to do what good I can do, and I so hope you will join me, my kind and gentle reader.
P.S. Looks like I answered the NaBloPoMo prompt a day early: “What are your thoughts about tomorrow’s election in the United States?”
I am struggling with my need for space. There are two distinct kinds that I am hungry for–actual physical space, clean and uncluttered, and space in my schedule, room in my way of doing things and being in the world. I feel like I did the best I could to clear out all of the things that no longer serve me, to do as Rumi suggests and “ignore those that make you feel fearful and sad, that degrade you back towards disease and death.” One thing that helped me to do so was Derek Sivers and his suggestion of how to decide how to spend your time, how to decide when to say yes and when to say no.
In her latest post, Happy Birthday to Me, Sunni Chapman suggests, “It’s the looking that hides the finding.” Maybe the trying and the doing aren’t the way to get anywhere after all, maybe there’s no need to change or become. Maybe it’s time to trust the wisdom of surrender, of letting go, of rest, of enough. As Sunni says,
Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray) 