Ringo and Sam each have their own style of couching

1. Truth: I am allowing myself to be too busy. Even though I said I wouldn’t be busy this semester, was going to stop doing that, here I am. I’m over scheduled, over committed, trying to do too much. There’s no space, no gaps, no room to breathe and be still.

2. Truth: Too busy is so harmful. My health suffers, my relationships become difficult, work is a challenge, and my thinking is confused. I start taking shortcuts and am no longer doing my best, for myself or anyone else. I skip the gym, don’t get enough sleep, eat crap without thinking. I feel bewildered. I am unable to prioritize and have a constant nagging feeling that I’m forgetting something. In this compromised state, I don’t stop until I get to the point of total overwhelm.

3. Truth: I need to slow down. Take care, pace myself, check myself before I wreck myself. Luckily most of the things I do aren’t that important in a global sense. If I have to give something up or it takes longer to be finished, probably no one will die as a result.

One wish: When we find that we are too busy, that we can’t keep up and are running ourselves into the ground, may we pause, find some stillness and space, notice where we are and be gentle. May we know deep in our bones that even if we did nothing at all, we’d still be enough.

From our walk this morning

1. Truth: I generate my own suffering. When I think about any problem I have, distill it down to its most essential and most fundamental quality, I can clearly see that it is resistance, disappointment, a rejection of reality — this is what makes me suffer, and it is of my own making. I choose how to think about and respond to what arises, and I don’t always make the best choices.

2. Truth: I get upset about the possibility of making a mistake. I try so hard to prevent it, get obsessed with how to fix whatever is “wrong,” can’t stop looking for ways to prevent complications, spend way too much time preparing and worrying, am constantly second guessing myself, and fall into an utter panic when I think I’ve messed up or made the wrong choice and somehow caused more suffering.

3. Truth: The only antidote is self-compassion and surrender. I can trust myself to do my best. I can forgive myself when things go wrong. I can let myself off the hook. I can be with my own pain, gentle and open. I can remember that life is part preparation and part letting go. I can relax.

Another one from our walk this morning

One Wish: That I know deep down in my bones that I can’t control everything. That I find ease in that awareness. May all those like me soften, be gentle with themselves, ask for help when they need it, let go of any expectation of perfection, and may we all surrender to our experience just as it is — tender and terrible, beautiful and brutal.