Cummings Creek Trail, image by Eric

1. Truth: When one of my dogs is sick or injured, I find it hard to think about anything else. Ringo has had a wonky gut for the past few days and while I’m not worried enough about it yet to take him to the vet, I’m concerned. He probably drank too much water out of one of the streams on the beach and will most likely work it out without any intervention, but it doesn’t mean I’ve been able to stop thinking about it.

2. Truth: I haven’t settled in any one place long enough this summer to work my way out of my funk. I was starting to feel okay, but then we packed up and headed to Oregon. We stayed with my in-laws for a few days, but not long enough to feel settled, and then we came here. It was only yesterday that I started to relax a bit, but there’s still the ongoing dilemma of my life: do I use this time to accomplish a bunch of shit or take a break? What am I “supposed to do”? What would it look like or mean to be content?

3. Truth: There’s a weird guilt that comes with summer vacation. It’s confusing. This time is a total gift and I absolutely know just how lucky I am, but that just adds to the weirdness. Part of me feels like I need to party and/or rest the crap out of it in honor of all those who don’t have this privilege. Then there’s a part of me that can’t help but feel like I need to earn this time somehow, like the nine months of hard work I did the rest of the year wasn’t enough, like I need to have something to show for myself at the end of this break to be worthy of it.

One wish: May I surrender to my confusion, find myself just where I am at, and open to joy.

From my garden

1. Truth: We are busy getting ready to leave for Oregon. We compressed two months worth of gardening in to two weeks, got seat covers and a cartop carrier for the new car, the dogs have been to the vet and are all up to date and checked out, we got service done on the new car even though it is brand new (just to be sure), all our reservations are made and paid, and we are working our way though a list of other things that need done before we go. We are so lucky to have a friend who is happy to live here, have a whole house to himself with a/c and a big TV for his own tiny vacation, so we don’t have to worry while we are away, and can have a garden even though we’ll be gone.

2. Truth: We are traveling to one of our favorite places. The central Oregon Coast, more specifically Waldport, Oregon. This is I think our 7th trip there as a tiny family, at least the fifth time we’ve stayed in this one particular house. The first time our first dog Obi was only 4.5 months old. I am looking forward to this trip being a bit easier, since Ringo is a grown up boy now, (he was still a baby last time).

3. Truth: My heart has two geographical homes. One is here in Colorado, and the other is in Oregon. I grew up there, and even though I don’t miss the nine months of rain, or the mud or mold, I miss a lot of other things — the ocean, my big family, the produce, the green, the trees.

One wish: That no matter where you are spending your summer, it’s a place you love with people you love.