Tag Archives: Rest

Wishcasting Wednesday

homeskyFor today’s wishcast, Jamie asks, “What risk do you wish to take?” I am immediately reminded of one of my favorite quotes, from Muriel Rukeyser,

What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open.

I wish to risk telling the truth. Telling my story even though it’s often embarrassing and messy and hard, leaning in and letting go, loving myself, being my own best friend, “willing to be stone stupid,” showing up not knowing and unprepared, keeping my heart open, raw and tender, being vulnerable, willing to be wounded.

The truth today is that I am taking another sick day, and as soon as I finish this I will lie down and maybe stay like that the rest of the day, still tired and achy, tender and sad, feeling like I am right at my edge but finally willing to stop, be still, take care of myself, no matter what anyone else might think about that, even as I am working with feeling guilty, a sharp shame surrounding my suffering, my need to rest, that even though it’s my 20th wedding anniversary today a part of me still wonders “does he love me?” and needs to be reassured.

Sick Day

darntoughI have so much I want to tell you, kind and gentle reader, but I’ve been fighting with the crud for the past week and today it’s winning. I cancelled working out with my trainer and slept in, emailed work and apologized about the meeting I’m missing. My to-do list looks like this: a dose of Emergen-C with grapefruit juice, hot bath, clean pjs, soup, and back to bed. It’s also Kelly’s birthday, she would have been 41 today, and the sunrise was so amazing I just stood at the window saying “whoa” over and over again, so I’m really sad too. My socks might say “darn tough,” but I’m feeling awful tender.