Project Reverb prompt: “Did you have an “ah ha” moment this year? Was it a big one? Or just a small enlightenment?”

My life is one “ah ha” moment after another, sometimes with moments of stillness between but other times rapid fire, one after the other in quick succession with barely any time to process one before another comes. That has a lot to do with me, with my perspective. I am open to it, waiting for it, expecting it. I am constantly looking for meaning, studying, watching and listening, wanting to figure things out. This year I realized I can’t do all the things, that my current approach is unsustainable. I became a beginner again and found that there’s so much to learn from that position, so much I can offer by being there. I was reminded that my focus, my foundation has to be self-compassion in order to do what I came here to do. Practice is essential, the only dependable constant. And all that matters or means anything is love, love, love.

Reverb14 prompt: “In the busyness of the everyday, taking time to nourish the soul doesn’t reach the top of the ‘to do’ list as often as it should. What nourishes your soul? How would you like to incorporate more of this into your life in 2015?”

The origin of the word nourish is a Latin word that means both to feed and to cherish. Spoiler alert: nourish is my word for 2015. I’m going to seek out nourishment in every aspect of my life. As for my soul, there is a lot of reading, studying, writing to do in order to foster a connection to my inherent wisdom, compassion, and power, seated in my soul. Kindness and gentleness in the form of forgiveness, self-compassion, quiet and stillness and rest are also a way to incorporate more nourishment into my life in the next year. And practice, as always, is at the center of it all.

Programming note: I am leaving late this afternoon for Shambhala Mountain Center to do a writing and meditation retreat with my dear friend and meditation instructor Susan Piver. The internet connection on “the land” is pretty sketchy, so I’ll be taking the next few days off, back to blogging either late Sunday or Monday, catching up then with the Reverb days I missed. Have a wonderful weekend, kind and gentle reader. I adore you. ❤

Project Reverb prompt: “There’s the old saying that a photo is worth 1,000 words.  Give us a photo with that impact that sums up some significant event of your 2014, or give us 1,000 words about a pivotal moment in 2014.”

Reverb14 prompt: “Like many folks, I picture myself as a modern day Wonder Woman, trying to use my superpowers, to do lists and pure force to get what I want. In 2014, I found that my effort wasn’t often tied to my desired outcomes — except when it was. In 2015, is there something you’d like to try harder at because you believe it would make all the difference? Conversely, what is something you could stop trying so hard at that might actually help you manifest what you’d like?”

I’m going to try harder to be well, to be a better friend to myself. This involves so many things. It means taking care of my physical health. It means eating well. It means moving my body. It means resting and getting enough sleep. It means practicing. It means prioritizing myself in a way I just haven’t. It means trusting myself. It means listening, fully and deeply. it means slowing down and being still. Being well, healthy and strong and sane, will directly impact what I have to offer. What I have to give will be better, more helpful if it has a strong foundation of self-compassion.

What I’m going to stop trying so hard to do is push, perform, please. No more poverty mentality, no more idiot compassion. I just can’t anymore. It’s not sustainable, and it doesn’t feel good. There isn’t anyone who wants me to wreck myself in order to give something away.