Tag Archives: Painting

An Open Love Letter to Julia Fehrenbacher

coming home, painting by Julia

I have struggled to begin and write this post, kind and gentle reader. There is so much I want to tell you about Julia–blogger, poet, painter, author, friend–and I simply didn’t know where to start.

Do I focus on telling you about her new book of poetry, On the Other Side of Fear, urge you to go buy a copy immediately because it’s just that gorgeous, that moving?

Or do I tell you about her blog, Painted Path, and recommend that you go read it, discover for yourself how it can open you up, remind you of your possibility and worth, crack you open and comfort you all at once?

Or do I insist that you check out her paintings at her Etsy store, see for yourself the gentle and vibrant colors, the message of her visual work?

Or do I tell you how wonderful it was to finally meet her in person last week? That she glows, radiates warmth and kindness?

Instead of deciding, choosing one thing, I will concede failure, surrender to the impossibility and simply tell you about her in a way that might somehow begin to explain it, the wonder and gratitude, some measure of how amazing she is, how important her work, the kindness, the wisdom, the power.

*deep breath*

be you, painting by Julia

I tried to remember how I first found Julia’s blog, but I can’t. It’s somehow connected to Judy Clement Wall’s work on her blog, A Human Thing, maybe starting with their collaborative project, 41 6-word Days. Whatever it was, however it happened, I fell in love immediately. What I adore about Julia’s blog is what I love so much about her new book, her art, her self. Julia (and the book, her blog, her art) is creative, wise, generous, authentic, warm, curious, brave, and kind.

Creation is one of Julia’s superpowers. It infuses all of her work, her art, her life, her interactions with others, in a way that inspires any creative who encounters it.

Julia’s wisdom permeates all of the writing she does, including her book. She knows what it means to get stuck, to be afraid, to suffer, but she also knows the way out, and gladly offers up that understanding, that magic to anyone who finds themselves lost or frozen

Julia’s generosity is not only time, material, or wisdom. She is openly fearless (feeling the fear but showing up anyway), helping others feel comfortable in their own skins and confident in their own worth.

Julia is authentic. She doesn’t hide behind a mask, a safe or acceptable version of a self, but rather shows up with her whole heart open, meeting you right where you are, just as she is.

Julia is warm. Being in her physical presence made this so clear. Standing near her, the sound of her voice, the glow of her skin, the way she would reach out from time to time and touch my arm, made it impossible not to soften, to surrender.

Julia is brave. Don’t misunderstand, she knows fear. But through love and gentleness, wisdom and a particular kind of power, she’s moved forward, heart open.

One thing that Julia said while we walked on the beach that I can’t stop thinking about is how you can trace the origin of every fear, distill each one down to a fear of “what they will think of me.” There are specifics underneath that which are more complicated, individual and contextual outcomes, like “if I say that, she’ll think I’m weird and not like my anymore, won’t be my friend, which will lead to me being alone and lonely,” but can always be summed up by I’m afraid of what they’ll think. This oftentimes makes us not only uncomfortable or judgmental, but keeps us from acting, from being our true self. I keep trying to stump this wisdom, disprove it, but I haven’t been able to, and can’t stop thinking about it.

Julia is curious. She wants to know, wants to understand, wants to hear your story, to know who you are and what’s in your heart, to connect.

Julia is kindness embodied and manifested. While you might not be lucky enough to ever meet her in person, to be directly in the light of her full self, her complete presence, you can read her blog, listen to her Soul Talks, gaze at her paintings and read her book. You are so lucky, we all are, that SHE showed up.

Julia wrote, crafted, and published her book, lines straight from her gut, artwork magic and present, the whole thing vulnerable and shivery, raw and honest, and she offers it with love. The book’s pages open and spread like wings, Julia’s open mind and open heart inviting the reader to take flight, to move beyond fear and live the life previously only dreamed. My most favorite poem is this:

Complete

If only we could be as brave
as that tall growing oak
rooted deeply to the warm earth
It reaches its naked branches
up to the sun
and drops its leaves
one by one
never once stopping
to cling or hold on
or question
or long

Just a tree
being a tree
being a tree

I think, just like Julia herself, this book is sweet and small, but don’t be fooled–there is great power lurking there. I have returned to this book again and again, rereading my favorite lines and discovering something new, and at other moments, I find that specific lines pop into my head, reminding me gently of some deep, important truth.

More about On the Other Side of Fear:


An open love letter to Andrea Scher

Photo by Mara

I’ll admit, kind and gentle reader, I am afraid to write this post. I have avoided it for months, while at the same time silently writing and rewriting it in my heart, longing to say it out loud, to tell her. But what do you say to someone who has given you so much, altered your experience so completely? How can you ever possibly thank them? See…I’m right to be afraid, because every time I think about it, about how much I adore her and how grateful I am, I start to cry (now, for example).

Andrea Scher has been the sun at the center of a universe of amazement and goodness, the shiny middle that all the other bright and precious things orbit around.

self-portrait by andrea scher

Here is just a short list of what she’s given me, what she’s introduced me to: Boho Girl, Susannah Conway, Kelly Rae Roberts, Brene’ Brown (!!!), Jen Lemen, Flora Bowley and the wonder of painting, Laurie Wagner, Rachel Cole, Mondo Beyondo thinking, and the joy of photography.

I’ve taken two of Andrea’s classes, Mondo Beyondo (which she taught with Jen Lemen) and Superhero Photo, and on Monday, June 18th, I’ll be starting Mondo Beyondo Dream Lab.

Horse or Dog?

horse or dog? picture I took of sam during superhero photo

Superhero Photo altered how I saw the world. I got down on the ground, climbed on chairs and tables, went out in all colors and weights of light, looked close and far away, and went on treasure hunts. I took some of the most magical pictures I ever had, and I haven’t stopped taking them.

Mondo Beyondo fundamentally shifted the way I approached my life, the way I saw myself. In this post, (which Andrea wrote when she first introduced the course in 2009), she describes the concept of a Mondo Beyondo list, what that approach looks like and means. She says,

I had been making these kinds of lists for years but had never had a name for it, or ever formalized my mental list by writing it down. My Mondo Beyondo. I liked the sound of it. I also loved the idea of stretching yourself into this world of the outrageous. If your imagination could reach a bit farther with this exercise, then you were giving yourself a powerful gift: expanding your idea of what is possible.

image by jen gray

Here’s the list of what I’ve done because of Andrea Scher, things I can cross off my Mondo Beyondo List:

  1. Started writing this blog
  2. Bought a ticket to World Domination Summit (WDS, just a few weeks away!)
  3. Took a few classes with Susannah Conway, got a signed copy of her book (sent by her!), am taking a writing workshop with her at WDS, and attending an event on her book tour at Kelly Rae Robert’s studio (!)
  4. Met Brene’ Brown (holy crap, I even talked to her!), took a two-day workshop with her
  5. Signed up to take a yoga class with Marianne Elliott at WDS
  6. Went to a Fearless Creativity writing and meditation retreat at Shambhala Mountain Center with Susan Piver (oh how I adore that woman!)
  7. Hosted a Well-Fed Woman Mini Retreatshop led by Rachel Cole
  8. Started writing a book

Maybe for some people, this list wouldn’t seem that astonishing, but we are talking about me here: INFJ, introvert, highly sensitive person who suffered from depression, anxiety, and writer’s block for 25+ years, (maybe longer?). This list is huge, ginormous, crazy wild amazing.

andrea scher, taken by laurie wagner

I found Andrea Scher’s blog, Superhero Journal, at a time when I was so brokenhearted, such a mess, so stuck, so tired. I didn’t know how to keep going, where to even start. I was searching, my view clouded by grief, knew that I had abandoned myself and my dreams, but didn’t know how to find my way back.

The person I am today: writer, artist, warrior, brave, open-hearted, funny, strong, joyful, sane, is possible in part because of Andrea Scher. She invited me to expand my idea of what was possible. She encouraged me, was kind and honest. She was constantly admitting the things that are hard and messy, while still pointing out what’s beautiful and precious. She reminds me of this quote from Muriel Rukeyser, “What would happen if one woman told the truth about her life? The world would split open.” Split open, and through the cracks, the light would get in (or maybe get out?).

Thank you, Andrea. I adore you and am so grateful for your work, your truth and your light, which have been of such great benefit to me as I stumble along.