Tag Archives: NaBloPoMo

What I Learned in Cultivating Courage

I just finished the first session of Andrea Scher’s Cultivating Courage E-Course. In the course description, she says:

One conscious, brave choice — every day for 30 days. Who will you be on the other side?

During those 30 days, I developed a practice. I experienced inspiration, comfort, community, and a refined definition of courage. Here I am, on the other side, and this is who I am:

1. “I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness.” ~Walt Whitman Every act of kindness is an act of bravery. My first thought often is something generous, but I usually stop myself, especially if a stranger is involved. I let those old, nasty voices about how I’m “too much” stop me, but this class, this practice has reminded me that this is my superpower, my nature, and maybe even my purpose.

2. I am not alone, and with a tribe, I am so much stronger. After 30 days in this class, I remember the importance of tribe, of communicating and connecting, of showing up and being vulnerable. Even though most of us in class were meeting each other for the first time, Andrea created a safe space, a secure container for our practice and our sharing, and we dared to be vulnerable, to connect. We quickly became a support team, a tribe of tender-hearted warriors practicing courage, encouraging each other and celebrating together.

3. What is an act of courage for me is just that, brave for me. Cultivating courage isn’t about becoming anyone else’s idea of brave. For me, right now, courage means cultivating confidence, the kind that Susan Piver describes as “the willingness to be as ridiculous, luminous, intelligent, and kind as you really are, without embarrassment.” Trusting myself, having faith in my own voice, showing up with an open heart, even when it’s hard and even when it hurts.

4. Courage doesn’t have to be big or bold. It can be quiet and gentle, soft and simple. You don’t have to save someone from a burning building, or make a grand gesture to be brave. As Mary Anne Radmacher says, “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says ‘I’ll try again tomorrow.’ ”

Andrea Scher is a maker of magic. She has a compassionate vision, and it’s so vivid, so vibrant that you can see it too, and this shared dream has the power to move you. You know immediately that you can trust her, and that with her support, amazing things are going to happen, you are going to happen.

P.S. One of the NaBloPoMo prompts this week was “What is the bravest thing you’ve ever done?” and another was “Tell us about your favorite pet.” As Andrea was putting together this course, she asked for courage stories, and the one I sent her was about my first dog, Obi, and having to let him go–the bravest and most loving thing I ever had to do. Andrea’s Cultivating Courage e-course has reminded me that this is who I am.

NaBloPoMo Prompt: What One Thing?

he was crowding me, but ask me if I care

Today’s NaBloPoMo Prompt is: “If you could change one thing about our life right now, what would it be?” The answer is easy: Dexter wouldn’t have cancer, wouldn’t be dying. I’d change that. That would be the thing I’d wish were different, what I’d fix if I could.

But I can’t change it. I can accept it, be with it, with him. I can surrender, let go when the time comes. Right now, I can be grateful for another week with him, another day, another moment. Most recently, he’s had a stuffy nose, runny left eye from time to time, and more bloody snot since last week, but he’s still having good days and he’s still here. As he gets a tiny bit worse, I bump up against that reality again, that he’ll die soon no matter what I do. I still feel tender and sad about it, but mostly the fear and panic have eased. Like Eric said last night, “I’m okay with it, even though I’m not.”

from puppy to dog

He’s had a good, longish life with us, and I’m so grateful for his companionship, what he’s taught me about joy, play, loyalty, and having clear boundaries. If I could change his cancer, the fact that he’s going to die sooner rather than later I would, but I wouldn’t change anything else about our time together. And no matter what, he’ll always be my Little Dude.