1. Morning walks. Lately, the only places I’ve wanted to walk are either by the river or in the cemetery, which makes sense — river medicine and death meditation. Both places are bringing me peace at a time when that is so necessary.

2. Hospice. It gives me some comfort to know that they are available to help. And did you know that Medicare covers 100% of the cost? Pays the staff and provides supplies. The people who chose that line of work are angels in scrubs.

3. Practice. It continues to save me, allows me to be present with what is, to not freak out or run away or check out when things get hard — and they get HARD. I’ve been practicing, in particular lately, The Nine Contemplations on Death from Atisha.

4. Good food and being able to make it. It’s one of the things I can do to provide comfort and nourishment, for myself and others, and I’m so grateful for that.

5. My tiny family, small home, little life. While I was in Oregon, Eric made me a daily love note and sent me a picture of it. He even snuck one into the bag of tea I’d packed in my suitcase so I’d find it when I got there. I was so glad to be there with my “other” family when I was, and also glad that I have such a wonderful place and person and puppy to come back home to. It’s good to be here, even as I want to be there.

Bonus joy: smart phones, texting, being able to Google just about anything you need to get or know about, that my mom doesn’t have to worry about money and I know she’ll be able to take care of herself, the support of friends and family, bees, hummingbird moths feeding on my Colorado bee plant, raspberries, how green everything still is this late in the summer, training with Shelby and the gang, aqua aerobics, massage, naps, clean sheets, clean air and water, baby deer, all the birds, trees, the sky, a/c, being confident that I could cook just about anything, a lunch date with Eric, Hendrix and Lia’s first days of school, marionberries, the treats from Depoe Baykery that my aunt brought over, a clean bathroom, being able to let go even when it’s hard, books, good TV, that corner of the couch, flip flops and sandals, being barefoot, malas, dreaming, writing in the morning with a mug of green tea, sharing my breakfast (and every other meal, to be honest) with Ringo, yoga with Jamie, restorative yoga teacher training, access to healthcare, Eric home safe after being gone all day, curls, poetry, making each other laugh, good ideas, being able to get books from the library for my Kindle, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.

1. Morning walks. The other day, we walked by the CSU Flower Trial Gardens, (stuff like this is why I LOVE living in a college town), which is within walking distance of the first apartment Eric and I lived in together, the basement of a cute little house in Old Town Fort Collins. We only paid $325 a month, which some of the time we split with a roommate. In the current market, just one bedroom in a shared space costs at least $600-1000!

As we were on our way to our old house, I asked Eric if he remembered the time his friend Dan borrowed our charcoal grill for a BBQ he was hosting, and how since he didn’t have a car and only lived a few blocks away, he walked home while dragging it behind him like he was walking a dog. Someone saw him and called the police, who he had to bring back to our house to confirm that he wasn’t stealing our grill. Then I pointed out a house on the corner just a block away and reminded him about the time they had a yard sale and we bought their dining room table set, and because it was so close to our house, we just carried it back, made two trips to get the full set back home.

Eric said the last time he’d walked by the house, it looked smaller, and he was right. They’d moved the fence closer to the house in back so that there’s room to park a car in the alley and they added a weird rickety narrow roof deck on to the same garage that we never used 30 years ago because it seemed like it could collapse at any moment. We didn’t have much when we lived there, when we first started out, but there was lots of love and a whole bunch of good times that made good memories.

2. Ringo. He got up from a nap yesterday and was limping. He has arthritis and one of the spots where it flairs up is in his elbows. We gave him some pain meds and did some cold lazer on his elbow that was sore. He woke up this morning already feeling better but he’ll be on restriction and meds for at least a few more days, if not a week or two. I feel so sad and anxious when he doesn’t feel good but I’m so grateful to have the resources I need to help him and that he’s such a good sport about it all.

3. Practice. I am getting ready to fly out to Oregon and spend a week visiting family. I haven’t flown since COVID and my people keep getting older every time I go, so practice is helping me cultivate the wisdom and compassion, the ease and calm I want to bring with me. I also am going to the beach for a few days which is always so good for me. I’m sad Eric and Ringo will be here without me, but so happy to come back to them after my visit. 

4. Eric. He made a strawberry pie for us this week. And on the morning of the day I was teaching yoga this week, he came to tell me he was going to the gym and I asked if he could help me load my yoga stuff into my car before he left, and he said, “I already did.” This October will be our 30th wedding anniversary and I would absolutely marry him again.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. There absolutely is no place I’d rather be, no one I’d rather be here with.

Bonus joy: Fat Boy ice cream sandwiches, writing with my Wildish Writing group on Friday mornings, Hendrix is WALKING!!! <3, afternoon rain storms, cucumbers and zucchini and tomatoes and flowers from our garden, finding the charger for Ringo’s cold lazer after looking for a really long time and almost ordering a new one, listening to podcasts, leftovers, sunshine, good neighbors, other people’s dogs and kids, crossing things off my to-do list, watermelon gummies, grapefruit drink mix, Asian cucumber salad with cucumbers from our garden, green grapes, spinach & artichoke hearts and greek yogurt dip with salty chips, lemonade, those yummy sandwiches from The Pickle Barrel, pay day, getting all the laundry done, zucchini bread and muffins with toasted walnuts, the yellow flowers and bees on our golden rain trees, cone flowers and daisies, hummingbirds, trees, watching TV with Eric at night, making each other laugh, making each other less anxious, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.