Tag Archives: Andrea Scher

Timeline

As I was working on cataloging my journals yesterday, I made a timeline, to track back when this particular change in me and my life began. I started writing the blog five months ago, and this life-rehab can sometimes feel like it happened just as recently, but THIS exact shift has been happening for at least three years, like water wearing away at a stone–freezing and thawing, dripping, rushing over and past, slowly changing its shape, causing cracks where the light gets in.

Image: Evgeni Dinev, FreeDigitalPhotos.net

Some highlights from the timeline:

2007: Therapy. Shambhala Training. Meditation practice.

2008: Yoga. Fitness trainer.

2009: Obi and Kelly diagnosed with cancer the same week. Obi starts chemotherapy. Obi’s cancer goes into remission. Warrior Assembly at Shambhala Mountain Center. Obi’s cancer comes back and we make the decision to stop chemotherapy. Kelly’s cancer comes back too. Obi dies in November.

2010: Major changes to my job, a long and difficult situation finally is resolved. We get Sam. Kelly passes away and I fly to Kentucky for her memorial service. I do a one day writing retreat with a friend that reminds me who I am, what I have always wanted. I restart a daily writing practice. We spend a month in Waldport, Oregon at the beach. I do a weekend online meditation retreat with Pema Chödrön, “Smile at Fear.”

2011: I take a few meditation classes to reestablish my sitting practice. Once a month for four months, I take a day long creative non-fiction writing workshop. Publish an article about Kelly. Join an Artist’s Way group and finally finish the book, having started it the first time ten years ago. 10 years at Colorado State University. WILD writing group starts to meet. Yoga Nidra & Loving-Kindness workshop with Ed & Deb Shapiro, 30 days of unlimited Yoga classes at Old Town Yoga Studio, and Yoga Immersion workshop shift Yoga to a true practice, (no longer just exercise). 25 year high school reunion, (I don’t go). Start a book couple with a friend, reading Gifts of Imperfection by Brene’ Brown. EClasses: Mondo Beyondo, Superhero Photo, and Ordinary Courage. First blog post.

This gradual building, this wave of energy that ripples out into every part of my life, is illustrated by the “bar graph” of my journals–those places where I take notes, record events, vent my feelings, list ideas, doodle, dream and remember and plan.

And this timeline, this review of things reminds me also that true change happens slowly, like water wearing away at a rock, and even then, the basic truth of me–my wisdom and compassion, my calling–doesn’t ever change, it remains constant and the same.

Reflect and Resolve

“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” ~Epictetus

image by dan

On this Winter Solstice, and in these last few days of 2011, I am reflecting on the past year and looking ahead to the next. So much has happened, and I feel on the cusp of so much more. I want to honor what I have accomplished, forgive myself, let go of what no longer serves me, and set my intentions for what I want to manifest in the new year.

I don’t typically make New Year’s Resolutions, at least not the kind that work out–for so many years I said this is the year that I’ll get in really good shape, lose weight and eat healthier, or take better care of myself, or get published, and so many times I let myself down–so it seemed better to not commit to anything.

I know better now. I was asking things of myself that denied essential truths, ignored reality, glossed over the things that really needed my attention, and were wished out of a fundamental self-hate and lack of acceptance that needed to be dealt with.

Then last year, I made a wish that I would be a better friend to myself. And slowly, things have shifted. I am in the midst of a life-rehab, and I feel the desire to mindfully and lovingly take stock of the last year, really see where I am, and contemplate what I might do in the next year.

I have already selected my guiding word for next year (retreat), and am considering which of the many strategies available I’ll use to review and plan.  Here are some of the ones I am looking at:

  • Patti Digh, of 37 Days, shared on her blog that at the end of every year, she asks herself two questions: “What do I want/need to let go of as I end this year?” and “What do I want to create in the new year?”
  • Cynthia Morris, of Original Impulse Inc., shared her End of Year Review Worksheet. This is a simple worksheet you can print out that she’s entitled “2011 in Review: Celebrate and Let Go.”
  • The visionary Andrea Scher, of Superhero Journal, Mondo Beyondo, and Superhero Photo fame, shares a link to her “Mondo Beyondo Completion Worksheet” in a post where she also offers a discount for the next session of Mondo Beyondo, (which I highly and wholeheartedly recommend–the class was like an invitation to wake up and live).
  • Another set of reflective questions comes from Reverb 2011, intended to be done one question per day, every day in December, but useful no matter when or how you might get to them. You can find a set here and also here.
  • My most favorite of all, a post that I am utterly in love with, written by the amazing Jennifer Louden: “2012 Predictions for You.” If you read or do nothing else on this list, go read this.

As I was thinking about putting this post together, the Universe sent me a few more things to share.

  • Susan Piver, gentle and brave meditation instructor, originator of the Open Heart Project, shared two posts this week, “New Year’s Resolutions: Part 1” and “Part 2” in which she suggests a slight alteration to the tradition. These were very helpful to me in framing how I would approach the practice, “two suggestions for making new year’s resolutions in such a way that they become a part of your spiritual practice rather than an exercise in wishful thinking and self-aggression.”
  • Courtney Carver, of Be More with Less, wrote “You Can Stop Now” in which she reminds us to “slow down and enjoy the last few days of 2011.”
  • And this: I had seen the video already, made a mental list of the women who’d be in my dream circle, and one of the dear ones on that list emailed me today, saying “Wish we could do this together, maybe next year” and I thought “why not this year?” So, while we can’t be together in the same physical space, as I make my bundle and burn it, our hearts will be together in that moment, adding power to the “Mother of All Releasings Ceremony.” If you’d like to do your own, here’s the directions. I had to make some modifications, use Star of Anise as my offering, and fabric left from when I made a square for the quilt we made for Kelly. It has the image of a crane on it, head down and solemn, instead of being plain black as suggested in the instructions. The Star of Anise is kept whole for luck, and these two have been on my meditation shrine for the past three years. Star of Anise is burnt to increase psychic awareness and power, so it seems like an appropriate substitution.

No matter what you decide to do to honor this transition, even if you choose to ignore it, I wish for you as Susan Piver did for all of us at the end of her New Year’s Resolution: Part 2 post:

May all of your dreams be realized exactly as you imagine, quickly and without obstruction.