Gratitude Friday

saltedcaramelcoffee1. Salted Caramel Decaf Latte, using homemade caramel sauce and one of the mugs my brother and nieces gave us for Christmas.

2. Wild Writing, and being reminded of this video, my favorite moment from Nurse Jackie.

3. Sunny, warm days before more snow. Sunday and Monday we might be getting a bunch of snow, but today and tomorrow it’s supposed to be sunny and almost 60 degrees.

4. Ringo Blue. I took him to the vet last week. He hadn’t been in almost a year, so I wasn’t sure how he’d do. He was so good! And when we were alone in the room, waiting, he lay down and went to sleep, just like Dexter used to do.

Ringo venting, lying against a heating vent in the kitchen, one of his favorite spots.

Ringo venting, lying against a heating vent in the kitchen, one of his favorite spots.

5. A boss who sends me nice emails that say things like this thing you made is “so stunning” and “I love working with you.”

Bonus joy: the way the dogs were howling at another dog walking down our street this morning (I still don’t know why they howled, they usually don’t do that about anything, but it was so cute!), being able to go in late, yoga, teaching yoga, caramel, sweet potatoes, clean water, wool socks, clean sheets, a hot shower, new fluffy towels, a 4.5 mile walk, seeing a mink hunting at the edge of the river, pay day, paying bills, clean laundry, baking, taking off my bra at the end of a long day.

Three Truths and One Wish

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Obi and Dexter

1.Truth: Some loss never leaves you. I will never stop missing Kelly. I will never not feel sad that Obi and Dexter are gone. The memory of losing them lives in my body, and at the most unexpected times it gets triggered, washes over me as if I’m in the very first moments of it all over again.

2. Truth: Even though it hurts, it’s better than the alternative. Maggie Doyne, who just lost her 18 month old son, posted on Facebook yesterday, “The only thing worse than losing Ravi would have been to never have known him at all.” I can’t stop thinking about it.

3. Truth: The pain you feel when you lose someone is equal in measure to how much you loved them. This is the good news, and the bad news.

One wish: That while we are here, we love, and when we go, we know that we were loved.