Three Truths and One Wish

1. Truth: As a highly sensitive person, it can be hard for me to focus or stay calm. ALL of the information that is floating around in the environment, all the ideas and conversations and emotions and heat (or cold) sticks to me. Rather than being in my own bubble safe from the rest of the world, I’m covered in tiny holes, porous and without clear boundaries, and like a sponge I soak it all in. When I’ve had a day with too much stimulus, I lose my sense of what’s mine and what’s yours. It’s so extreme that if I read a book or watch a TV show where something bad happens, even to a fictional character, I feel it floating just at the edge of my consciousness like a memory of a lived trauma. Let me repeat that — I embody the trauma of others, even when they aren’t real!

2. Truth: This makes service and social justice work incredibly uncomfortable. I can’t easily detach from the suffering of others, and it’s difficult for me to relax or rest when I know someone is hurting, especially if it’s something I could help or even fix. I remind myself of the conventional wisdom of putting your oxygen mask on before helping someone else with theirs, or of that saying “you don’t have to set yourself on fire in order to keep others warm,” but the discomfort doesn’t really go away.

3. Truth: And yet, I don’t shut down, I don’t give up. In fact, I actively do the opposite, continually and regularly practicing to keep my heart soft and open, stay with the discomfort, allow whatever is arising, and cultivate a sense of vulnerability, a willingness to be hurt. I purposefully practice compassion, which is nothing more than being with someone else and their pain, letting it touch you, experiencing it with them. I’d rather be uncomfortable and connected. I’d rather be of some help than none at all. I’d rather make mistakes than not even try.

One wish: May the merit of our practice ease suffering, in ourselves and the world.

Something Good

Icy morning river, image by Eric

1. 25 YA Books to Add to Your 2018 TBR List Right Now. And if you need more suggestions about what to read, here’s Roxane Gay’s comprehensive list, My 2017 Reading List. And, in other but still related news, 35 Literary Adaptations to Look Forward to in 2018.

2. Recipes I want to try: Rachel Roddy’s four bean-based recipes and Everyday Chocolate Cake.

3. 6 Ways My Parents Unintentionally Taught Me Disordered Eating.

4. CNN Debuts American Woman Documentary Series … Which Has the Same Name, Theme and Aesthetic as a Series Already Created by a Black Woman. Can we STOP doing this, please? Watch this short episode of the REAL American Woman series, an interview with Tarana Burke.

5. Black writer says he was nearly shot by police while shopping for conditioner. Speaking of things we need to STOP doing…

6. Watch grown-ish, a spin off of the brilliant black-ish. It’s also available on Hulu.

7. Photographer Reveals The “Addicted” Side Of The Streets Of Philadelphia.

8. Social Media Has Its Pitfalls But You Can Use It For Positive Change—Here’s How.

9. How To Do An Annual Review: 10 Questions. These are always presented as something to do at year’s end, but I think prompts like these are useful any time you are feeling stuck or confused.

10. Beyond the Food Podcast, Episode 109, The OTHER Reason Why We Overeat and Binge with Isabel Foxen Duke.

11. All the Weird Thoughts an Introvert Has After Socializing. #1 is so me. In related introvert news, Help for Introverts Who Are Struggling With Depression and 4 Ways for Introverts to Make 2018 Their Best Year Yet.

12. I Love You So Much Podcast Ep. 24, Austin Kleon on unlocking creativity; Nils Juul-Hansen on ‘Hygge.’

13. Good things from Karen Walrond’s This Was a Good Week list: 14 Ways To Make Journaling One Of The Best Things You Do In 2018, and Pad and i: 7. I’d like to make a toast, and 5 Ways to Be Kind Right Now.

14. Your theory from Seth Godin.

15. Dear life from Marc Johns.

16. Sick Little Lamb Falls In Love With A Rescue Cat. (video) In related news, Rescuing a family of dogs. (video)

17. UniLid. “Universal lid that fits all shapes and sizes with food tracking. The perfect, eco-friendly replacement for plastic wrap.” I need this! Apparently, so do a lot of other people — they set a $5000 goal, and it’s close to $500,000 with three days left in the campaign.

18. Turns out, Ringo Blue is part penguin. (video)

19. How to Deal With Failure, Rejection, or Public Humiliation, another great article from Kirsten Akens. “Very few people will turn a crummy Yelp review into a work project, but writer Alexandra Franzen has done just that with her new book, You’re Going to Survive.”

20. Roxane Gay on setting boundaries and saying “no.” (video) Why yes, Roxane Gay IS one of my favorite humans — why do you ask? 😉

21. Living Simply in 20 Square Meters. (video)