Gratitude Friday

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baby blackberries

This post is a mashup of The Little Bliss List and Joy Jam, and as such is meant to celebrate: the little things that brought me hope and happiness this week, the sweet stuff of life, those small gifts that brought me joy this week. By sharing them, I not only make public my gratitude, but maybe also help you notice your own good stuff and send some positive energy out into the world.

1. Depoe Baykery. I love baked things: bread, donuts, cake, pie, cookies. In fact, I kind of wish I didn’t love them quite so much. I think it has something to with my German DNA, because I love all things potato as well. White, doughy and starchy, chewy and a little sweet makes my mouth happy. And here on the coast, I have discovered the most wonderful little bakery.

First contact was a maple bar bought from their stall at the Waldport Wednesday Market, (second to baked things and fresh produce, my favorite is maple: maple bars, maple nut ice cream, maple syrup). I fell instantly in love. And then the next week, I had one of their coconut macaroons, and it was over. They are made out of coconut, butter and sugar, with a splash of heaven or pure evil, I haven’t made up my mind which, and each one is as big as your face. And if that weren’t already enough to kill me, they fill their bear claws with Marionberry! I haven’t decided if it’s good or bad that you can order their cookies online and have them shipped to you.

I wish you could somehow smell them: a chocolate chew and coconut macaroons

2. Fresh produce. I am still obsessed, hitting three farmer’s markets per week. My current obsessions are raspberries and cucumbers.

3. Coming home after being away. I had a great time at the World Domination Summit, but I sure missed my boys. In those first moments back, I remember how lucky I am and I feel so grateful for all the love and comfort that is mine, to be missed and loved as much right back. My dogs spent the whole rest of that first day following me everywhere, sticking with me like two Velcro dogs, and I loved it.

4. Long walks on the beach. This morning, we were out for three hours: walking, playing, chasing birds (that was Sam, not the rest of us, the Lab/Border Collie mix just can’t help herding the birds), collecting shells and rocks, taking pictures, listening to the rhythm of the waves. I am trying to enjoy this time, rather than think about how much I am going to miss it, but as our vacation winds down, it’s hard not to feel a little sadness.

the view this morning

5. Reconnecting with old friends and meeting new ones. There are people in this world who have their hearts wide open, who are kind and generous and amazing, who see you, really get you, make you laugh, comfort you, encourage you, whose bravery makes you feel safe and braver yourself. I got to hang out with a lot of them this week, and it was bliss. I also am aware that “the rest” have the same potential, even if they haven’t quite got it together just yet.

Bonus Joy: Routine. I like having the comfort, the certainty of a routine, even when I’m on vacation. We realized the other night that after coming to Waldport for the past ten years, we have that here: we walk and hike the same places, have a set schedule, go to the same markets and shops, eat at the same restaurants. I am very much a person who would rather sink deeper into a place, into a practice, into a relationship, into myself, than seek out something new or different. I know that for some of you, that would seem like some kind of torture, too boring for life, but for me it’s complete happiness.

Taking My Time

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I’m in this strange space, this odd state today. It feels a bit like being hungover or jet lagged. I think it’s actually World Domination Summit love lag, a possibility hangover accompanied by waves of wonder and magic aftershocks that has brought about a sabbath, a day of rest that fell midweek.

I’m exhausted, existing in a whole other time zone, another reality. All I could manage today was walking the dogs, a shower, eating, and a long nap. This kind of day used to send me into fits. I’d power past the tired and overwhelm, keep working anyway, to the point of collapse or illness, chanting “have to, should, must, already wasted too much time.” I’d drag myself, push and pull and bully and smash myself to bits to get from this moment to the next, not stopping until I’d reached the goal, which I never did because I was always adding more things, having more ideas, creating more tasks for myself.

which way is up?

Be here now.
Be someplace else later.
Is that so complicated?
~Josh Pais (by way of Danielle LaPorte)

This goal thinking, this endless to-do list, this rush toward the real thing, the important moment, the big accomplishment, the grasping and reaching is exactly the thing that wastes time. It denies this moment, the one I’m in now. Denies my need for rest, to go more slowly, to ruminate and contemplate, to enjoy the ride. It says “hurry up” when I want to lollygag, fool around, dawdle. It rushes to get somewhere else when I long to be here, now.

So for today, I’m allowing myself to take it easy, to go slow, to accept that even if it means I miss out on something, it’s okay. Because what I definitely won’t miss is this moment. It’s all there is, and that’s such a gift, because in this moment there is the sound of the ocean and bird song, sun and a light breeze, two soft and sleepy dogs resting at my feet, my boy on his way to the store to buy vanilla ice cream to go with the peach cobbler he made while I napped, the tap of my finger on the keys and words to string together, and you, dear reader, to tell all this to. There is love and there is time, and that’s more than enough.

I am enough.

what tired looks like