Uncategorized | Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

1. Morning walks. If I want to take pictures, I have to wait and go a bit later so we don’t miss the sunrise altogether. Even so, I can feel the light rising, can feel that there’s more of it each day — which seems like a metaphor for this moment, this season: the light is returning.

2. Practice. I just got done wild writing with my Friday morning group led by Laurie Wagner. I’m so glad that after a momentary delusion, a short break, thinking I could do without it, I was able to get back in when I understood it was essential.

3. Poetry. For a long time, I didn’t fully understand its magic, its medicine. Now I do, and was so happy to see that truth represented during the inauguration ceremony, of which Amanda Gorman was the best and brightest. “For there is always light, if only we’re brave enough to see it. If only we’re brave enough to be it.” May this be “who we are.”

4. Nourishment, in all its various forms, that which feeds, that which cherishes.

5. My tiny family. Every night before dinner, Eric peels clementines for me to eat. When Ringo rolls over on his back so I can pet his belly, it seems like there could be nothing better.

Bonus joy: hanging out and writing with Mikalina, getting my office tidied, hot coffee, donut holes, a good mask (comfort and coverage), sitting in the infrared sauna with Eric, cooking with Eric, laundry, clean sheets, that corner of the couch, good TV (sometimes that means something dumb and easy), podcasts, books, music, stretching, turning the heat down because it feels good to pile on the blankets, gummy vitamins, reading in bed at night while Ringo and Eric sleep.

1. Rest. I have been making sure I honor this need, especially now. And any time that little voice starts harping about how I’m being lazy, that I need to get up and accomplish something, I remind myself what a hard year its been, in so many ways, and remind myself of that quote from Banksy, “If you get tired, learn to rest, not quit,” or what Andrea Gibson said, “Years ago, inspired by a conversation with my therapist, I started calling my most depressed times—hibernations. It helped me reframe my very low days as days that might refuel and nurture me. It also eased shame’s grip on my thoughts about what I was or wasn’t doing. “

2. Happy Anniversary, Ringo! I made this picture this morning, a play on the “How it started. How it’s going.” memes. On this day, seven years ago, we brought Ringo home. I am more grateful for him today than ever. I have to keep reminding myself that other people have just one dog and it’s not weird, so it’s okay for now and until we are ready for another to have just him, knowing that Ringo is never “just” anything.

3. Comfort, in all its various forms.

4. Morning walks. The snow over the weekend melted and refroze so the trails closest to the river were frozen over like ice skating rinks so we had to stay on the paved trail, but if we hadn’t we would have missed the flock of wild turkeys taking advantage of the seed that had fallen on the ground under someone’s bird feeders.

5. My tiny family. Eric started to go back to his office to work some of the time this week, and while I miss him, it’s nice to feel like things are sort of “normal.” He stayed home yesterday but was on Zoom meetings ALL DAY (started at 7:30 am and went until 7 pm with just a few breaks), and Ringo didn’t love that even though I convinced him to take a nap with me and he seemed to like that.

Bonus joy: Wild Writing with Laurie and my sangha of writers, writing and hanging out with Mikalina, texting with my mom and brother and Chloe’, seeing people’s pets and kids on Zoom, birds, sunshine, honey, hot coffee, tiny marshmallows, books, podcasts, TV, movies, music, naps, sitting in the sauna with Eric, making each other laugh, soft fresh white bread, laundry, being retired, that spot in the corner of our new couch, my infrared heating pad, snow, the river, being able to see the foothills of the Rocky Mountains from where I’m sitting right now, mail, down pillows and blankets, reading in bed while Eric and Ringo sleep.