Category Archives: Three Truths and One Wish

Three Truths and One Wish

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1. Truth: Trying to be anyone other than who I am won’t make me happy. In some cases, comparison kills–my creativity, my sense of self-worth, my well-being, my sense of direction. To imagine I’d be happier or more loved if I just had that hair or her thighs or drove that car or lived in that house or had that job or lost 20 pounds (again) is a delusion. Nothing I don’t have, nothing I’m not will make me happy if I’m unable to be happy with what already is, as it is right now.

2. Truth: Perfectionism is a form of self-aggression. Trying to be someone I’m not won’t work, but attempting to become a perfect version of myself is just as dangerous. Perfection doesn’t exist, isn’t possible, and isn’t even preferable. Think about it: do you love the people you love because of what they get right (her hair is always perfect, her wardrobe stunning, her house spotless) or for their flaws (how she’s always tripping over everything, his crazy cowlick, how easily she cries, how he can never find his wallet, the way she snorts when she laughs really hard)?

3. Truth: The best I, the best any of us have to offer is exactly who we are, in this very moment. Crazy, confused, uncool freaks. And totally badass. Every one of us a precious, brilliant, stinky mess.

One Wish: That we show up with an open heart, completely and utterly in the moment as we are, fully accepting and embodying this moment, this self. That we are able to relax, be gentle, and let go.

Three Truths and One Wish

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1. Truth: I don’t know how to “live a life of dreams while also staying grounded.” I am trying to figure it out, how to surrender myself to the whims of my creativity but still manage to get the laundry done. I’m still not there, that magic “there” I’m so sure exists if I keep heading true north to the land of balance and joy. I seem to either be completely wild or totally frozen, too loose or too tight, can’t find the middle ground, the center of the path where I can plant both my feet solid on the earth while I open my heart to the sky.

2. Truth: I keep making the same mistakes. Even though particular habits of mine clearly don’t work, aren’t bringing the results I hope for, they are habits old and deep, and as such, they are sticky and stubborn. I am comforted by my awareness of these discursive patterns, grateful that I am no longer blind to them, but still frustrated by my inability to stop myself, to make a change.

3. Truth: The most important thing I can do is relax, be gentle with myself. It won’t do any good to try threats or assign blame or smash myself to bits. There’s no bribe, no trick, no ultimatum that will work. There’s no mysterious plan or secret technique or complicated method that I can practice or purchase. I simply have to surrender, melt into this moment, let go.

The bad news is you’re falling through the air, nothing to hang on to, no parachute. The good news is there’s no ground. ~Chögyam Trungpa Rinpoche

One wish: That the places where we feel stuck will start to loosen up, that we will begin to know true freedom, and that the process will be as simple as taking in a deep breath and then letting it out.

*sigh*