Category Archives: Summer Break

Choice

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I am officially on Summer Break. This year I have two months off instead of three, and this is one of the summers we stay in Colorado rather than spend a few months on the Oregon Coast. I told Eric the other day that my favorite thing about vacation is I own my time in a way I just don’t when I’m working for someone else. The complication of that ownership is that I get to choose how I spend my time.

I could sleep in, have a lazy morning, take a shower but immediately put on clean pjs, get on the couch and binge watch television shows or movies, only getting up to eat and go to the bathroom.

I could get up early, do some laundry, walk dogs with Eric, go to the gym or a yoga class, shower, meditate, write, sit out in the back yard with Eric and the dogs, read or take a nap.

I could work on all the reading and contemplating and action from the various sources I’ve accumulated it.

I could plan some things to teach or get together with friends.

I could email Amy about using our last two training sessions with the dogs, answer those emails that have been sitting in my Life Wholehearted inbox for way too long, schedule some people to come give us a bid on putting in a new fence for us, recaulk the bathtub, go through the pile on my desk, get texture spray and paint to fix the places on the walls where they put in our insulation, paint the outside of the house, weed the flower beds, make an appointment with the dermatologist, buy a new swimming suit and bras, mail the things sitting on my desk, install the new modem they sent us months ago, clean out the garage.

Or, I could do nothing. No plan, just whatever I feel like doing next, even if it’s absolutely nothing.

I get to choose. I am fully aware of my privilege, and also my anxiety.

Gratitude Friday

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rosesfrommygarden

1. Flowers from my garden. As much as I am working on cultivating a garden I can eat, I also want a full season of blooms.

2. Easy and affordable access to healthcare. I am so grateful, especially after this weekend, to be able to get help 24 hours a day, seven days a week, from wise and compassionate caregivers.

3. Free Yoga Journals. On one of our morning walks this week, we went by a house for sale that had a full box of about six years worth of Yoga Journal magazine sitting out front on the sidewalk. I passed it up at first, tried to convince myself I didn’t need them, was in the process of decluttering, but ended up going back for them. Truth is, I’m starting yoga teacher training in January, they are my favorite magazine, and after I read them I always use them to collage, so I kind of did need them.

4. HGTV House Hunters and House Hunters International. I’ve mentioned before that being a highly sensitive person, I have to be careful what I watch. I can’t really watch anything with conflict or meanness or horror anymore, which means most TV is out. But I love HGTV. If I could have just that channel, I might consider getting cable again, but for now, thankfully, there are episodes available online.

5. Summer break. I had a dream last night that I was on vacation in Hawaii, but I’d spent most of my time working, being inside, that I was spending the last day there doing laundry and was so sad that I hadn’t enjoyed the trip more. I think that was my subconscious telling me that it’s time to start acting like I’m on vacation, (I’m not really very good at it). I’m listening to Beach House Radio as I write this, and missing the beach so much it hurts a little. This time last year, we were packing, getting ready to leave the next day for a whole month there, with no idea that our sweet Dexter had cancer, no idea it would be his last trip there with us.

Dexter embraces his gray hair.

Bonus Joy: Another week with Dexter. I almost hate to say it outloud, afraid I might jinx it, but he’s gone five days without a bloody nose. A few nights ago, he slept in bed with us the whole night, and his routine for getting in was exactly like the “good old days,” — go out to go potty, come back in and check that everyone is in bed, go find his Little D, hop into bed with us, play with his baby for a little bit, get petted, and finally breathe a deep sigh and fall asleep against my leg. It’d be easier to let him go if he weren’t so dang sweet.