1. This week, I learned that Jeff Oaks, a dear human, poet, essayist, painter, and teacher, is entering hospice. We became “friends” in that funny way we often do these days — he was a friend of a friend on Facebook, and because his dog Andy is the cutest and Jeff’s tagline on his page is “poems, art, dogs,” of course I sent him a friend request and adored him immediately. I was stunned and heartbroken this week when he posted an update that his cancer had progressed over the summer and they are telling him he only has a few weeks left, so he’s entering hospice. If you are looking for a present for a poetry lover, I recommend one of Jeff’s books: Little What or The Things. Other than that, walk your dog and hug your people, let them all know how much you love them, how much you’ll miss them when they go (or you go). And may Jeff have the easiest death, knowing that he is so loved, that we will be less without him.
2. Letters From Love with Elizabeth Gilbert on Social Media. “My letter reminded me that there is solid ground between the two extremes of being swallowed up by social media and giving it up completely.”
3. I Have Never Regretted My Abortion. “But I’m afraid I’ll never be able to talk about it openly.” I never had to make this decision, and feel great compassion for the women who have, whether they ended up feeling regret or not, and for those who find themselves in that place in the future, if they so choose, may they have access to a safe, legal, affordable procedure.
4. 9 Oddly Satisfying Things That Make Introverts Happy.
5. Unravel Your Year workbook from Susannah Conway. “Filled with questions, prompts, monthly reflection pages and so much more, it’ll help you take stock of the year that’s ending and prepare you for a new ride around the sun.”
6. How Long Does it Actually Take to Form a New Habit? (Backed by Science).
7. Good stuff from Lion’s Roar: The Wisdom of Aging with Grace (“Even though we might try to accept the fact of aging, many of us dread getting older. But that doesn’t mean we can’t learn to age gracefully. And what if the aging process naturally leads to insight and wisdom? Here, Sam Mowe and Jane Kolleeny explore these ideas with Zen teacher and writer Norman Fischer”), and Overworked & Overwhelmed (“There are burdens we can’t put down, says Furyu Nancy Schroeder. That fact is the true heart of our human life”), and Take Refuge in Your Body (“When the storms of life hit, your body can be a place of refuge and healing. Cyndi Lee says it starts with making friends with your body”), and 10 Tips for a Mindful Home (“Karen Maezen Miller offers 10 simple tips for keeping a mindful home. How simple? Well, as Karen says, “If you can do the first one, the next nine take care of themselves”), and How to Make a Spectacular Mistake (“You’re going to make one anyway, says Anita Feng. So why not go big? You might end up with something more beautiful than perfection”).
8. The Imperfects: Gina Chick – Don’t Fight Life. (Facebook reel) “An incredibly moving account of an incredibly difficult subject. Gina Chick generously shared with The Imperfects team the experience of losing her daughter, and her journey of grief since.” Listen to the full podcast episode here.
9. This gorgeous poem from John Roedel, on Facebook, which begins with the lines:
“the wounds in our hearts
seem to ache a little deeper
during the holidays”
10. FRYBREAD FACE & ME: This Ponca’s Review by Cliff Taylor.
11. Intricate abstract porcelain sculptures by Lisa Seaurchin.
12. The Best Novels of 2023: The Booker Prize Shortlist. I’m such a HUGE book nerd that I’m amazed when I see a list like this and don’t recognize any of the books.
13. Here are all the nominees for the 2024 Film Independent Spirit awards.
14. Cordelia – Little Life (Official Music Video). This may just be my theme song.
15. From Chris Rock to Hannah Gadsby: the new book treating standup as fine art. “As our relationship with comedy has shifted, so has the role of comedian in mainstream culture, says author Jesse David Fox.”
16. Expansive Landscapes Spill from Tiny Frames in Detailed Miniature Dioramas by A House of Wonders.
17. Forbes Top Pet Insurance of 2023. I don’t have this for Ringo, because he’s a walking preexisting condition factory so much of what I’d need it for wouldn’t even be covered, but all the next dogs are getting signed up, pronto (pup). 🙂
18. Recipe I’m going to make: Oatmeal cookies. Let the holiday stress baking begin!!! And add this one: Apple French Toast Muffins.
19. Poems from Rosemerry Wahtola Trommer: Smack Dab in the Middle of a Thursday and Self-Portrait as Tuning Fork.
20. I’m loving this Spotify playlist: sautéing and slow dancing. “Cooking and slow dancing with someone you love.” I can imagine other things happening to this playlist, if you know what I mean — wink, wink; nudge, nudge. 😉
21. Good stuff from Seth Godin: Walking the city, walking the world, and Wrestling, fighting or dancing, and Abundance and ideas, and Hope and expectations. “We are all weird, and that’s okay.”
22. Full of God on Gentle Buddhism. “What we learn from creatures.”
23. There’s no Welcome Committee here from Ijeoma Oluo, which suggests that, “if we’re going to win these battles against systemic oppression and violence, we have to find a way to get people from questioning to action as quickly and efficiently as possible.”
24. Why Your ‘Digital Shabbat’ Will Fail on WIRED. “‘Secular shabbats’ may be a trendy self-help tool, but they won’t curb your screen use or provide a quick fix for your stress.”
25. Isolation Journal No. 1, a gift idea for the journaler in your life.
26. Red Hand Files #264: On arguing with friends. “A relationship dependent on a state of agreement, two people just smiling and nodding at each another – be it a marriage, a friendship, a partnership or any other relationship – is probably dysfunctional, impermanent, and almost certainly boring… But, beyond disagreement, the fortifying agent in any relationship is forgiveness – the ability to expand one’s heart in order to accommodate the infractions, perceived or otherwise, of the other.”
27. Renunciation: A Game of Capitalism and Karma, another gift idea. “Looking for the spiritual journey of a lifetime? Hold onto your butts, travelers. The race to enlightenment begins. From the visionary artist behind [my favorite] The Wild Unknown Tarot comes a board game that requires the winner to lose it all.”
28. Kyoto Snow. (video)
29. Wisdom from Lucian James: “Dormancy and deep rest are essential to all living things. If we are in constant fight or flight we can’t heal, we can’t zoom out, we can’t see the bigger picture, we can’t get into that parasympathetic place of rest and digest.” I’m starting to see that for me fight or flight has become habitual, goes beyond my reaction to stress and becomes a state I seek out because it feels “normal.” *sigh*
30. How to Socialize While Staying True to Yourself as an Introvert.
31. Love Continues To Save Me from Andrea Gibson. “Meg the miracle worker.”
32. Dense Embroideries Map Celestial Expanses and Abstract Landscapes by Lindzeanne.
33. Don’t Forget to Write from Jami Attenberg.
34. Must I do everything? from Patti Digh.
35. I’m a Climate Scientist. I’m Not Screaming Into the Void Anymore. on The New York Times.
36. How to Bless Each Other: Poet and Philosopher John O’Donohue on the Light Within Us and Between Us.
37. Things I Left in the Water. “In this essay, a new swimmer learns about the power of letting go.”
38. 7 Therapists Share Their Best Advice for Coping With Existential Dread and Grief.
39. The “Specialness Spiral” Might Be the Reason You Have So Much Clutter. “The specialness spiral occurs when a person doesn’t use something and it is deemed ‘special.’ This specialness will cause the owner to resist using it even more, creating a spiral that leads to the collection of ‘unusable’ items, aka clutter in their home.”
40. Why I’m Swapping “Big Dreams” For Small Satisfactions.
41. Celebrate the holidays with an Indigenous gift guide.
42. The Secret Benefits of Crying, Grieving, and Falling Apart, According to a Therapist. “For sensitive people, feeling grief isn’t just healthy, it’s a source of vitality, inspiration, and beauty.”
43. ‘It’s gone on too long. Push me over the edge’: Diana Rigg’s dying wishes in the grip of cancer.
44. The $16 Pan That Gives Every Brownie Perfect Edges. I am one of those weird people who LOVES the corner or end piece of cake, brownies, quick bread, etc., the chewy edges, so I might need one of these.
45. on reconnecting roots and dreaming big for the coming year from Karen Walrond on Chookooloonks. I’m sharing specifically because of this part: “I’ve been using these prompts for myself for a while now, and they always help me feel optimistic for my year ahead. I hope you’ll find them useful for your own big dreaming for 2024.”
Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray) 