Category Archives: Obi

What I Learned in Cultivating Courage

I just finished the first session of Andrea Scher’s Cultivating Courage E-Course. In the course description, she says:

One conscious, brave choice — every day for 30 days. Who will you be on the other side?

During those 30 days, I developed a practice. I experienced inspiration, comfort, community, and a refined definition of courage. Here I am, on the other side, and this is who I am:

1. “I am larger and better than I thought. I did not know I held so much goodness.” ~Walt Whitman Every act of kindness is an act of bravery. My first thought often is something generous, but I usually stop myself, especially if a stranger is involved. I let those old, nasty voices about how I’m “too much” stop me, but this class, this practice has reminded me that this is my superpower, my nature, and maybe even my purpose.

2. I am not alone, and with a tribe, I am so much stronger. After 30 days in this class, I remember the importance of tribe, of communicating and connecting, of showing up and being vulnerable. Even though most of us in class were meeting each other for the first time, Andrea created a safe space, a secure container for our practice and our sharing, and we dared to be vulnerable, to connect. We quickly became a support team, a tribe of tender-hearted warriors practicing courage, encouraging each other and celebrating together.

3. What is an act of courage for me is just that, brave for me. Cultivating courage isn’t about becoming anyone else’s idea of brave. For me, right now, courage means cultivating confidence, the kind that Susan Piver describes as “the willingness to be as ridiculous, luminous, intelligent, and kind as you really are, without embarrassment.” Trusting myself, having faith in my own voice, showing up with an open heart, even when it’s hard and even when it hurts.

4. Courage doesn’t have to be big or bold. It can be quiet and gentle, soft and simple. You don’t have to save someone from a burning building, or make a grand gesture to be brave. As Mary Anne Radmacher says, “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says ‘I’ll try again tomorrow.’ ”

Andrea Scher is a maker of magic. She has a compassionate vision, and it’s so vivid, so vibrant that you can see it too, and this shared dream has the power to move you. You know immediately that you can trust her, and that with her support, amazing things are going to happen, you are going to happen.

P.S. One of the NaBloPoMo prompts this week was “What is the bravest thing you’ve ever done?” and another was “Tell us about your favorite pet.” As Andrea was putting together this course, she asked for courage stories, and the one I sent her was about my first dog, Obi, and having to let him go–the bravest and most loving thing I ever had to do. Andrea’s Cultivating Courage e-course has reminded me that this is who I am.

Gratitude Friday

This post is a mashup of The Little Bliss List and Joy Jam, and as such is meant to celebrate: the little things that brought me hope and happiness this week, the sweet stuff of life, those small gifts that brought me joy this week. By sharing them, I not only make public my gratitude, but maybe also help you notice your own good stuff and send some positive energy out into the world.

1. Lemon Poppyseed Scones. I’m kind of obsessed right now. The lemon and sugar combo are like sunshine in my mouth.

2. Cultivating Courage ecourse. It’s technically over now (next session starts January 14th), but we have a private Facebook group and Andrea offered alumni a discounted rate for the next session. 30 days of cultivating a habit is really effective, especially when you have such amazing support. The class gave me more confidence and also allowed me to reconsider what it means to be brave.

3. My original art piece from Mary Anne Radmacher, which I wrote about yesterday.

4. More light for our morning walks. This will only last a week or so, but it was nice that first day after we “fell back” to not have to wear my headlamp and walk in the dark.

5. The end of another election season. Every year, it’s just way too nasty and stressful. Even without regular TV, it’s hard to not feel its impact.

Obi and Dexter

they were so in love

Bonus joy: Three years ago today, we had to let Obi go. He taught me so much about life and love, about fear and courage, about accepting another just as they are, about being safe and loved even when things are uncertain, but most of all how to let go.  It’s because of him, his loss, that I can be with what’s happening with Dexter, be with it and keep my heart open. They loved each other so much. Dexter was actually Obi’s dog, and Dexter loved him even more than he loved us or his Little D. If I could only know for sure that letting Dexter go meant he could be with his Obi again, I’d more easily surrender him.