Category Archives: Mondo Beyondo

August Break: Day Ten

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Yesterday, I bought myself flowers. The name on the wrapper was “salmon babies.” I love having fresh flowers in the house, especially on my writing desk. They are a constant reminder of how beautiful life is, but also how short and fragile. The Buddha said “If we could see the miracle of a single flower clearly, our whole life would change.” And yet, I was feeling so guilty about the money I was spending ($9.99 plus tax) that I almost put them back.

This week is sadly the last of the summer session of Mondo Beyondo Dream Lab, and yesterday we got our final secret mission: buy yourself flowers. I didn’t read the email until after I returned home, still feeling guilty and shameful about the purchase, the indulgence. When I did read it, I cried–every message I received from this course made me cry. I’m not exaggerating: every one, every time.

The theme of the course was rest, play, and kindness. It was all about practicing self-love and self-care in areas I’ve previously avoided, ignored, rejected even. The permission, the invitation to allow these things to manifest in my life, to actively cultivate them filled me with gratitude and joy, overwhelmed me with tender sadness and relief.

I bought myself flowers, and felt bad about it, and then the universe sent me a message: caring for myself is not selfish, loving myself isn’t something to feel guilty about, rest isn’t lazy, play isn’t a waste of time, and the abundance and joy I welcome into my life won’t diminish anyone else’s share.

Three Truths and One Wish

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1. Truth: You are capable of so much more. Whatever you think you can do or have or be, whatever you imagine, your opportunity and potential are so much more than that, so much bigger. Whoever you want to meet, whatever you want to learn, wherever you want to go, whatever you want to accomplish is possible, so invite it, try, at the very least begin to entertain the idea, dream, plan, wish. Take that first step, some tiny action that manifests your intention, focuses your attention.

Of course, things don’t always turn out as we planned, and our imagination is limited, so once we start, we have to keep ourselves open to what arises, not try to force or control an outcome, and be realistic, because you can wish all you want to be a unicorn or meet a hobbit or be a foot taller, but none of those things are going to literally happen. And yet,

I am larger, better than I thought;
I did not know I held so much goodness.
~Walt Whitman

2. Truth: You are already free. All of the limitations and restrictions you put on yourself, your possibility and potential, are of your own creation. You are afraid, so you tell yourself “can’t” or “impossible.” You think you must earn love and belonging (rather than believing it is your birthright), so you tell yourself “should” and “have to” and “no.” You do all this even though the truth is that you are able to try anything and are already enough.

If we cannot give up our lives to something larger than ourselves – to
something larger than the conditioned mind that we imagine is who we
are – then we cannot be free. ~Justin McKay

3. Truth: You are the only thing in your way. If you are waiting for something to happen, stop waiting and happen. Take the first step, make a start, do one small thing. Show up and remain open to the possibility of the moment. Allow your heart, your gut, your intuition, your innate wisdom and compassion, love to guide you. Move out of the way and allow your basic goodness to manifest, as it naturally and organically will if you would only step aside.

You have the freedom to be yourself, your true self, here and now, and nothing can stand in your way. ~Richard Bach

One wish: That we can get out of our own way and realize our full potential. That we can manifest in the world that which we were born to be and do.