Category Archives: Love

Three Truths and One Wish

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1. Truth: I am afraid of the truth, because sometimes it’s so ugly, heavy and dark. Change is inevitable, impermanence is one of the only things we can count on, reality is groundless and much of the time I can’t trust my perception of it anyway, there’s nothing stable to hold on to, and everything, all the time is coming together and falling apart. The world isn’t a safe place and really bad things happen, and I can’t stop many of those bad things from happening, no matter how careful, diligent, or perfect I am, no matter how hard I work or try. No matter how much we love someone, they will eventually die, we will be separated. All of our plans and insurance and hope can’t save us. Sometimes the truth of this paralyzes me, makes me so afraid that I am stuck, helpless.

2. Truth: I am afraid of the truth, because sometimes it’s so big and bright, full of love and amazing. Yesterday on Facebook, Raam Dev posted this: “Unless you’re prepared with the courage to receive it, what you want won’t come to you.” I am afraid to be loved, to live my dreams, to open my whole heart completely to my life. I am afraid to believe that I am basically good, innately wise and compassionate and therefore powerful. I can’t face how truly brilliant and precious I am. I fear the full measure of my true light is too big, will destroy me, burn me up, that I won’t be able to handle it, I am afraid I’ll ruin it, screw it up, not do it right, that I have access to so much good but no skill or courage for manifesting it. I’m afraid of the responsibility that comes with that power, that light, and am unable to face it, to look directly at it, to connect with it, to embody it.

3. Truth: Understanding that I am afraid, I open myself to the truth, to life, willing to be broken, inviting love. As Susan Piver so often reminds me, all I have to do is show up with an open heart.

I am basically good.
All beings possess such goodness.
Knowing this, my heart opens.
When my heart opens, the world changes.
~Susan Piver

One Wish: That even with our fears, even with the blinding light and brutal weight of the truth, we can continue to show up with open hearts and try.

God Speaks

God speaks to each of us as he makes us,
then walks with us silently out of the night.

These are the words we dimly hear:

You, sent out beyond your recall,
go to the limits of your longing.

Embody me.

Flare up like flame
and make big shadows I can move in.

Let everything happen to you: beauty and terror.
Just keep going. No feeling is final.
Don’t let yourself lose me.

Nearby is the country they call life.
You will know it by its seriousness.

Give me your hand.
~Rainer Maria Rilke

Wishcasting Wednesday

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What do you wish to share?

My light. I am learning bit by bit how important it is to be my true self, to offer that, to show up with an open heart. Chogyam Trungpa said that “Compassion is not having any hesitation to reflect your light on things.” I was reminded of this while at the store this morning. There was the sweetest man in line behind me, saying hello to everyone, helping arrange things on the counter, asking me about the things I was buying (“someone does a lot of writing, yeah?”–colored pens, I was buying birthday presents for my nieces), making things lighter for all of us with his kindness, so simple and yet so important, and not fake, not forced or pushy–you could tell he couldn’t help being nice, it was just his nature. Being genuine, trusting our kindness and our heart, following our basic wisdom and doing what is right and natural is what allows us to offer the precious gift we are to the world.

Do you cringe when I suggest that we are precious gifts, dear reader? I know, I do a bit too, think “who am I to say that about myself?” but I more often than not believe it, am trying. I believe it about you 100%.

We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory…that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others. ~Marianne Williamson.

My joy. Just like the man at the store, I know that the more often I can share my sense of wonder, my happiness, my curiosity and amazement, the better. Joy seems to be contagious.

My gratitude. The same as joy, sharing this sends out waves of kindness. Every time I write an open love letter or say thank you, hearts soften and suffering eases. Telling someone thank you reminds them of their worth, and we all need that from time to time. From that sense of worth, they do better, they say thank you, sharing their gratitude, and the good continues to ripple out and grow.

My wealth. I don’t mean just money. I mean the abundance that is my life. The time I give, the help I offer, the happiness I spread. Whatever I can generate or have that is of use, especially the places where I have excess, so much more than I need, I want to share. I wish to be able to feel full enough, safe enough that I can easily let go and share.

My practices. Writing/reading, walking/hiking, dog, yoga, meditation, art, and love have all been of such benefit to me, and I want to share these practices with others who might find them similarly helpful.

My love. There is always enough to share, and I’m happy to give it all away.

My story. I just know in my gut that there are others out there, struggling like I have, who need a kind word, a gentle conversation, a deep sigh and a good laugh, who need some relief and some support, who could be helped by what I have learned, and it’s my deepest wish to share that with them, to help, to ease their suffering as much as I can.