Category Archives: Gratitude

Gratitude

I’ve made an executive decision to rename these end of the week posts to simply “Gratitude.” I’m not consistently posting it on a Friday, a lingering nod to the posts published on Fridays elsewhere that originally inspired my practice of a weekly gratitude list.

1. The morning sky over my house. Not dissimilar to what we see on our walks, equally amazing.

2. Morning walks. Here’s something I wrote in my Wild Writing class yesterday about it:

Walking Ringo next to the river or around the ponds as the sun is coming up is church, and what I mean by church is a quiet stillness that makes me feel small and empty in the best possible way. My problems, my habits and worries, my neurosis suddenly not such a big deal. The sunrise, the water, my dog, and the quiet of the early morning, the encounters with the wild things of the world — all render the time and space sacred and our passing by, our noticing a prayer of sorts.

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Culture tells us to build, consume, accumulate, but the truth is life exists in the moments and spaces where we are unencumbered by all that, the places where we are empty and luminous, the times where we don’t know and no longer care to know. We aren’t right or safe, we aren’t striving or hoping to win. We let all that go, we float where just a moment before we were falling, sinking. We look up and catch the color of the sunrise reflecting off the clouds and it stops us just where we are, asking for nothing.

3. Practicing together. In particular, my Friday morning writing class, group, sangha met for our last session until after the new year and it was some especially magic writing, and practicing art with Calyx and her loving support of my process is one of the very best things.

4. The season of light. We got our tree up and decorated; Eric made the coconut, walnut, dark chocolate bon bons my grandma and great aunt Maggie used to make every Christmas which I hadn’t had in years; all the presents have shipped and/or are getting wrapped; Christmas music is playing in the background; and Eric is officially on his winter break.

5. My tiny family, my tiny home, my tiny life. I am so so so so so lucky, so content here with them.

Bonus joy: a negative COVID test (I didn’t really think it was anything more than a cold but Eric knew I’d feel better if I knew for sure so he got me a rapid test I could take at home — pretty good that we are almost three years into this and that’s the first test I’ve taken), getting in the pool, sitting in the sauna, the hyromassage chair, naps, raspberries, clean sheets, clean laundry, watercolors, therapy, listening to podcasts, all the new holiday movies, flowers on my desk and in the bathroom, the gingersnaps Eric made, good playlists on Spotify, texting with Chloe’ and Mom and Chris, climbing documentaries (an odd interest for Eric and I to share considering neither one of us climb), cuddling with Ringo, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.

Reverb14: Day 25

cozyProject Reverb prompt: “What are you so grateful for? How did you count your blessings in 2014?”

I write a post every Friday with a list of all the things I’m grateful for. Last week I was on retreat and didn’t know how good my internet connection would be, so I didn’t post one for the first time in 137 weeks. I discovered later that I did have an okay internet connection, and posted a few Reverb responses, but I didn’t remember Gratitude Friday until Monday, so decided to wait. Lucky me there is this chance now. I have so much to be grateful for…

  • Making the choice to get another dog. It was hard, a close call, not for sure at all, risky, but now we are so glad we did it. Ringo is such a comedian, so independent and strong willed, can be so sweet and has helped us heal as much as we can from Dexter’s loss. And in my humble opinion, two dogs really are better than one. ringoandsam
  • Finally, finally, finally figuring out what’s been wrong with Sam. At the beginning of the year when we first brought Ringo home, we thought we were close to having to let Sam go. He was so miserable and no one could tell us why or how to help him. Now we know that he has sensitive skin on his mouth prone to infection and a food allergy that we are working to identify that leads to chronic ear infections. Poor dude also got diagnosed with Pannus, which can lead to blindness, but does mean he gets to wear these cool sunglasses. (We’re still working to convince him that there’s anything cool about his Doggles).samglasses
  • Finishing yoga teacher training. A big part of that is having a partner willing to take over and be in charge of everything, including a difficult puppy and a sick older dog, all the weekends I was away doing my own thing. I’m grateful for the friendships I made, for the kindness and wisdom of my teachers, and for the opportunities I’ve had to practice. sundaymorningyoga
  • Good health for me and those I love. It’s been touch and go a few times, and there were a few mysteries and some worry, but all in all it’s been okay, good even. My brother wrote in his Christmas card to us, “I’m wishing you health above all for Christmas … dogs too.” That was the best thing he could wish for us, the most precious.
  • Financial ease. I am grateful almost every day that Eric and I are in a situation where we don’t have to worry, can afford the things that matter to us, what we need and want, are able to help even. There are so many who don’t have this, and I feel lucky, lucky, lucky.
  • Friendship. I have awesome friends — smart and kind and funny.
  • I love where I live. Close to most of what I want to be close to, nice neighbors, good weather, beautiful scenery, the river and the mountains, big enough but also still small enough with quiet wild spots still accessible.
  • My job at CSU. The perfect fit of what I’m good at and what others need.
  • Books and the people who keep writing them. I got an Amazon Kindle from Eric for Christmas, and he took the change from our piggy bank and cashed it in for Amazon credit, $168, so ALL THE BOOKS!
  • Teachers, guides, healers, and companions who helped me heal, to be well. I had a little Christmas miracle last night when I identified a specific hunger (needing Christmas to feel special, even though we were spending it mostly alone), knew how to feed it (going out for Chinese food at one of our favorite restaurants, then coming home and watching “Elf”), and asked for it, gave it to myself, allowed myself to have it until I was full. In the past, I might have stayed home and ate leftovers and felt sad, or gone out for dinner and stuffed myself full of food until I was sick, all without being able to identify or be honest about what I was really feeling. I can only do so now because I’ve done a lot of work and had a lot of help along the way.
  • Love and confidence. Knowing I am loved, not being afraid to love, knowing that if someone doesn’t like or accept me that’s okay, knowing that what I have to offer matters, makes a difference, knowing who I am and honoring that.
  • My kind and gentle readers. I come here to work through all the things I’m trying to figure out. I show up and tell my story, and other people gather and listen, hold this space for me, offer support and love. I am amazed by it, and so so so grateful. Happy, Merry Everything to you, kind and gentle reader. ❤