1. That first cup of coffee in the morning, half coffee and half hot cocoa, which I drink while I write, sitting in front of my HappyLight. I don’t drink enough for any real surge of energy to come from the caffeine, but rather the comfort in the ritual is the reason.

2. Morning walks. The comfort here is also in the ritual, the repetition, the fact that this is intact and predictable, even now. It’s also one of the only times I leave the house, so there’s that. 🙂

3. Cooking and eating good food. Eating well, feeding myself, is currently one of the most dependable ways I’m coping, which makes the day we pick up our grocery order my favorite day of the week. This week, I made the Smitten Kitchen sweet potato salad and an old family recipe, Funeral Casserole (because it’s what you take to a funeral potluck). My favorite meal this week was funeral casserole, Caesar salad, and pancakes with butter and marionberry jam for dessert.

4. Practice. This is the other most dependable way I’m coping with “this.” Every day, I do a bit of yoga, meditate, and write. I’m working up to making a video that’s a short seated yoga practice, some breath work and meditation. I’ll share it here when I finish it.

5. Rest. This was essential to me before, when I was dealing with my own personal “sheltering in place,” trying to recover from burnout. Now it seems even more essential to give myself permission to go into a dark room in the afternoon and rest, process the fear, confusion, grief, and rage I’m feeling.

6. My tiny family. This is the third most dependable way I’m coping, spending time with my three boys, both giving and getting comfort from being together.

7. And I almost forgot, we got a foot of snow yesterday! Everything is going to turn so green now.

Bonus joy: finishing the laundry, having a washer and dryer at home, a warm shower, gummy vitamins for grown ups, that spot in the corner of our new couch, a soft blanket, clean pjs, HIIT workouts with Eric, singing with Ringo, cuddling with Sam, good TV, good books, good podcasts, good music, mantra practice, my laptop, having a space where Eric can work from home that was already set up and easy to adapt to what he needed, texting with my mom and brother, hanging out on Zoom with Mikalina and Chloe’, Sam still having access to physical therapy, the April Love photo challenge hosted by Susannah Conway, Facebook and Instagram, clean water and electricity and indoor plumbing and the internet, all the people providing health care and access to food even though it puts their own health at risk.

 

1. Signs of spring, especially the blooms. I am really missing having flowers in my bathroom, (but not enough to risk going in to the store to buy some). Soon I’ll be able to bring some in from my own garden. I’m especially looking forward to the lilacs and peonies and the tall spikes of white irises with yellow tongues that my friend Ann gifted me the year before she died.

2. Things I miss. The gratitude isn’t about not having them or the sense of sad longing I feel when I think about them, but rather the clarity that comes with being so certain how much you love something, to know without a doubt what matters. On the top of my list is my yoga students, group yoga classes, the pool and sauna at my gym, hugging my friends, seeing my family “in person”, my friend’s dogs, massages from Dana, haircuts, going out to eat, seeing a movie in the theater with popcorn and soda pop, grocery shopping, (in particular being able to go in without fear, find and buy anything you want, which leads to eating what I want not just what I have).

3. Practice. I’ve always been someone who does much better with a routine, something to ground me and give my days structure. It’s probably related to being a highly sensitive introvert. I like at least some things to be predictable, the same, dependable, to give me a sense of structure and stability amidst the confusion, chaos, and change that is life. This has never been truer than now, and I’m so grateful that every day there are at least a few things that will repeat, stay the same.

4. I’m still here, still healthy and safe. It’s never a guarantee and I’m grateful.

5. Morning walks. Most days when I go now, it’s all four of us, and I am not mad about that.

6. My tiny family. As hard as this moment is, it could be so much harder without these three. If I have to stay home all the time, if I’m scared or sad, there’s no one I’d rather be with.

Bonus joy: the internet, video chatting with Mikalina and Chloe’, good TV, good books, good podcasts, comedians, naps, a warm shower, doing yoga and HIIT workouts with Eric, sitting in the backyard in the sun, cuddling with the dogs, hugs from Eric, the way he asks me “what can I do for you?”, texting with my brother and mom, breakfast for dinner, the new skillet Eric bought, marionberry jam, laughing.