The Full Blue Moon asks: “What extra-super-special dream do you want to invite in?”

This month, in the post where Jamie shares and explains hers, she says that her dreamboards are “equal parts expressions of my desire and the Universe’s conversation with me. I can see what it is my heart is yearning for and I can see the practices and actions that will take me there.”

I’m actually almost a full day late with mine, because last night I was so raw and sad and small that I couldn’t even begin to imagine an “extra-super-special dream.” Placed into context, in contrast to Dexter’s illness, his eventual loss, dreams like writing a book or being able to quit my paid work and be a full-time artist seem so silly, so minor, so empty, (even as I know they really aren’t). Last night as the blue moon worked its way to entirely full, I sat on my meditation cushion and cried, told Eric how overwhelmed I felt, and went to bed early instead of creating a dreamboard.

When I sat down this morning to work on it, I had no idea what was going to come up. I found the picture in the middle first, the woman sitting in warrior position, known in yoga as hero’s pose, her hands held in prayer position over her heart, head bowed and eyes closed. The color, lilac, is one of my favorites, and I liked the reflection and bulk of her ring. The next image I found was the woman’s fingers trailing the surface of the water, with the quote about meditation practicing clearing our minds of restless thought so that we can see who and what we really are. After that, each image I found represented practice and devotion, nature, or something with a reflective quality.

This dreamboard communicates to me that through my practices, through surrender, I will realize a transformation, that I will discover confidence in the qualities of my awake mind and open heart. “Sometimes I need only to stand wherever I am to be blessed.”