jillsalahub

It’s time for August Moon, hosted this year by Alana of Wolf and Word. August Moon is a a reflective writing challenge, and this year’s theme is illumination. This is my third year taking part, and the combination with August Break has always been a good way for me to transition from summer to fall, from vacation to work.

Kat, host of previous years, contributed an oracle reading to launch this year’s challenge. “I am using one of my favourite decks: Connected and Free — The Alchemist’s Oracle, made with love by Lauren aka Inner Hue.” The first email we received included three cards, and we were to choose one. Kat recommended, along with other options, “The theme of this year’s August Moon reflective writing challenge is Illumination, so you could use it as an opportunity to open up and see what might need illuminating in your life. However you feel called to accept the offering, all you need to do is glance at the cards below and choose a number quickly, without giving it too much thought.”

As often happens with these things, I chose quickly. I felt no hesitation making my choice, but that decision was immediately followed by doubt. Why 2? Doesn’t the feather, the number 3 seem “more like me”? But, as I always do, I decided to trust my first instinct, that first thought, and stick with my initial choice.

At first I couldn’t quite read the word and thought it said “compassion.” It seemed reasonable since the two horses were nuzzling, looking into each others eyes. But then I looked closer and saw the word was “comparison.”

Comparison is stealing your energy, zapping your creativity and immobilising you. Rather than compare, shift your perspective to realising those you compare yourSelf to merely offer a vision of where you are headed and what you would like to create. The Universe is calling you to take action and get back into your body. The guidance is clear. Get outside and ground your energy. This will support you in re-balancing. Acknowledge the journey you’ve travelled so far and access the soul-based potentials and possibilities within, they are just waiting for you to breathe life into them.

When I think about my issues with comparison, I realize they are slightly different from what’s being referred to here. This description assumes I compare myself to others. I do, but that’s not the heart of the matter for me. I compare myself to an ideal version of myself, one that is a mix of what I want and what others expect. She is an impossible standard and there is no way I could ever measure up, and yet I still try, beat myself up for not being her. She is so far ahead of me and I think I should be able to catch up, be there now. I forget all the work, all the steps, all the time between here and there. I think I should be able to skip ahead, time travel, and when I can’t, I think it’s a failing, a mistake, a weakness. I don’t let myself rest. I’m impatient. I push too hard.

So instead, I can recommit to being who I am, where I am. I shared a quote on Facebook the other day, don’t know who said it first or who to attribute it to, but it’s perfect, such a good reminder — “Freedom is found when we let go of who we’re supposed to be and embrace who we really are.”

1. The first signs of fall. Blooms on my chrysanthemum bush, leaves turning yellow, way more tomatoes than we could possible eat, pumpkins turning orange.

2. Peach season. These are one of the things I ache for come winter.

3. The cold Eric got that I thought I was getting too turned out to not hit me so hard. It was good to have a break on that front for once this summer.

4. Something Good on Wanderlust. It makes me so happy that something I was doing anyway leads to something even better, that people still appreciate it so much.

5. Breakfast with good friends I don’t see nearly enough. Good people who make me want to linger, make me laugh, don’t mind turning our meal into an impromptu life coaching session for me.

Bonus joy: having the means to fix up our house and have work done without worrying, having the time to be able to be here so the people can come do the work, having dogs who will rest mostly patiently in their crates while the work gets done, my favorite plumber Andy, knowing it won’t be too long before the bathroom is all shiny and new and the floors are finally finally refinished even though there’s a lot of work and waiting to do between now and then, talking to my mom on the phone, coming up with a new mac and cheese recipe that uses spinach and tomatoes from the garden and is so tasty I don’t mind eating it for lunch and dinner two days in a row, people who see what I’m doing and get it and appreciate it, sitting in the backyard watching the moths feed from the flowers on the broccoli while the dogs play and a light wind blows, Sam’s foot being hurt again but not too bad and on the mend.