1. Yesterday was Eric’s birthday, the love and light of my life, my favorite. We’ve had a rough year, especially the past few months, so we celebrated with a quiet day — he walked Ringo in the morning, then we went to the gym and sat in the sauna, then to lunch at one of our favorite places (Mount Everest Cafe), napped, watched one of our favorite movies (Joe Vs. The Volcano), etc. This morning a woman saw his age and that it was his birthday yesterday, and said “Happy Birthday! I was so young when I was your age!”
2. Morning walks. Since Eric is technically on fall break, (technically because he’s still having meetings and doing work), he went with Ringo and I on some of our walks this week. We hardly ever go all together anymore so it’s fun when we do.
3. Christmas movies. There are a few I rewatch over and over: Elf, Scrooged (the one with Bill Murray), Die Hard (it’s a Christmas movie — fight me!), Home Alone, Single All The Way, Love Hard, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town, The Year Without a Santa Claus, and Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer. The other day while I was wrapping presents, I watched a new one, Candy Cane Lane. It was good. I’m going to finish wrapping presents that need shipped after I publish this post, so I’ll be putting another one or two on, but I haven’t decided what yet.
4. Other Christmas things: cards in the mail, presents, the tree, twinkle lights, cookies and candy. All the things that make the season so sweet, so merry, so bright. So far, we haven’t even put ornaments on our tree, just the lights, and there’s a really good chance it might stay like that — the lights are the most important part anyway.
5. My tiny family, small house, little life. The more I settle in, the better it gets. And, it’s snuggle season for Ringo, who the rest of the year isn’t really interested in a cuddle.
Bonus joy: clean sheets, my weighted blanket, good books, listening to podcasts, wrapping paper and tape, those cast iron skillet garlic biscuits Eric made, breakfast burritos, a big glass of cold clean water, Mom at home recovering from her surgery, Hendrix’s first school picture (so cute!), texting with Chloe’ and Chris and Mom, sharing Instagram reels with Carrie and Shellie, down blankets and pillows and jackets, Skippy’s Natural Super Chunk Peanut Butter, a crispy gala apple, marionberry gummies, the chance to start over as many times as necessary, teaching yoga at Red Sage, the pool, the hydromassage chair, a massage with Dana, finding the perfect Christmas present, sharing food, good neighbors, other people’s kids and dogs and cats and wombats, talking with Dr. Gaffney, Etsy, the kindness of strangers, knowing I made the right choice for me, sneezes that smell like honey (even though it means my blood sugar is most likely too high), our couch, reading in bed at night while Ringo and Eric sleep.
1. This week, I learned that Jeff Oaks, a dear human, poet, essayist, painter, and teacher, is entering hospice. We became “friends” in that funny way we often do these days — he was a friend of a friend on Facebook, and because his dog Andy is the cutest and Jeff’s tagline on his page is “poems, art, dogs,” of course I sent him a friend request and adored him immediately. I was stunned and heartbroken this week when he posted an update that his cancer had progressed over the summer and they are telling him he only has a few weeks left, so he’s entering hospice. If you are looking for a present for a poetry lover, I recommend one of Jeff’s books: Little What or The Things. Other than that, walk your dog and hug your people, let them all know how much you love them, how much you’ll miss them when they go (or you go). And may Jeff have the easiest death, knowing that he is so loved, that we will be less without him.
3. I Have Never Regretted My Abortion. “But I’m afraid I’ll never be able to talk about it openly.” I never had to make this decision, and feel great compassion for the women who have, whether they ended up feeling regret or not, and for those who find themselves in that place in the future, if they so choose, may they have access to a safe, legal, affordable procedure.
5. Unravel Your Year workbookfrom Susannah Conway. “Filled with questions, prompts, monthly reflection pages and so much more, it’ll help you take stock of the year that’s ending and prepare you for a new ride around the sun.”
7. Good stuff from Lion’s Roar: The Wisdom of Aging with Grace (“Even though we might try to accept the fact of aging, many of us dread getting older. But that doesn’t mean we can’t learn to age gracefully. And what if the aging process naturally leads to insight and wisdom? Here, Sam Mowe and Jane Kolleeny explore these ideas with Zen teacher and writer Norman Fischer”), and Overworked & Overwhelmed (“There are burdens we can’t put down, says Furyu Nancy Schroeder. That fact is the true heart of our human life”), and Take Refuge in Your Body (“When the storms of life hit, your body can be a place of refuge and healing. Cyndi Lee says it starts with making friends with your body”), and 10 Tips for a Mindful Home (“Karen Maezen Miller offers 10 simple tips for keeping a mindful home. How simple? Well, as Karen says, “If you can do the first one, the next nine take care of themselves”), and How to Make a Spectacular Mistake (“You’re going to make one anyway, says Anita Feng. So why not go big? You might end up with something more beautiful than perfection”).
17. Forbes Top Pet Insurance of 2023. I don’t have this for Ringo, because he’s a walking preexisting condition factory so much of what I’d need it for wouldn’t even be covered, but all the next dogs are getting signed up, pronto (pup). 🙂
20. I’m loving this Spotify playlist: sautéing and slow dancing. “Cooking and slow dancing with someone you love.” I can imagine other things happening to this playlist, if you know what I mean — wink, wink; nudge, nudge. 😉
22. Full of Godon Gentle Buddhism. “What we learn from creatures.”
23. There’s no Welcome Committee herefrom Ijeoma Oluo, which suggests that, “if we’re going to win these battles against systemic oppression and violence, we have to find a way to get people from questioning to action as quickly and efficiently as possible.”
24. Why Your ‘Digital Shabbat’ Will Failon WIRED. “‘Secular shabbats’ may be a trendy self-help tool, but they won’t curb your screen use or provide a quick fix for your stress.”
26. Red Hand Files #264: On arguing with friends. “A relationship dependent on a state of agreement, two people just smiling and nodding at each another – be it a marriage, a friendship, a partnership or any other relationship – is probably dysfunctional, impermanent, and almost certainly boring… But, beyond disagreement, the fortifying agent in any relationship is forgiveness – the ability to expand one’s heart in order to accommodate the infractions, perceived or otherwise, of the other.”
27. Renunciation: A Game of Capitalism and Karma, another gift idea. “Looking for the spiritual journey of a lifetime? Hold onto your butts, travelers. The race to enlightenment begins. From the visionary artist behind [my favorite] The Wild Unknown Tarot comes a board game that requires the winner to lose it all.”
29. Wisdom from Lucian James: “Dormancy and deep rest are essential to all living things. If we are in constant fight or flight we can’t heal, we can’t zoom out, we can’t see the bigger picture, we can’t get into that parasympathetic place of rest and digest.” I’m starting to see that for me fight or flight has become habitual, goes beyond my reaction to stress and becomes a state I seek out because it feels “normal.” *sigh*
39. The “Specialness Spiral” Might Be the Reason You Have So Much Clutter. “The specialness spiral occurs when a person doesn’t use something and it is deemed ‘special.’ This specialness will cause the owner to resist using it even more, creating a spiral that leads to the collection of ‘unusable’ items, aka clutter in their home.”
44. The $16 Pan That Gives Every Brownie Perfect Edges. I am one of those weird people who LOVES the corner or end piece of cake, brownies, quick bread, etc., the chewy edges, so I might need one of these.
45. on reconnecting roots and dreaming big for the coming yearfrom Karen Walrond on Chookooloonks. I’m sharing specifically because of this part: “I’ve been using these prompts for myself for a while now, and they always help me feel optimistic for my year ahead. I hope you’ll find them useful for your own big dreaming for 2024.”
Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray) 