1. A quiet, cozy Christmas. It was just what I needed this time around. We took some pictures, opened presents, ate good food, napped, texted with family and friends, and watched “A Charlie Brown Christmas.”
2. Morning walks. Since Eric is on break, he’s been going with Ringo and I on our days. It can be hard for him because we don’t run so he gets pretty cold. On today’s walk, there was a lot of jogging in place and dropping and doing push ups to stay warm. On another walk, Eric and I were talking too much, which made Ringo feel like he wasn’t getting enough attention so there was a lot of thrashing the leash, which is his way of filing a complaint on a walk. This morning, we found a labyrinth someone had made next to the river. Ringo didn’t understand how it worked.
3. Practicing yoga at Red Sage. I wish more of the humans who work there had time to come on a more regular basis, but the “regulars” I have are super fun. One told me yesterday that, “I don’t even like yoga, but I come because I like the way you teach it.”
I recommended a “new year’s resolution” to them at the beginning of our last class, whether they are the kind of person who makes them or not, and I’d like to share it with you, kind and gentle reader: “be a better friend to yourself.” No matter what other goals you set or wishes you make, I’m pretty sure if you start from that place, you are WAY more likely to get what you need, to get you where you want to go (or stay).
4. Rest. Instead of beating myself up for all the things, I’m giving myself permission to slow down. This morning, I was reading some of Shelby Forsythia’s book “Your Grief, Your Way,” and she said, “Take a deep breath and remember that you have just lived through one of life’s hardest and most devastating experiences, the death of a loved one. You cannot be who you were, at least not right away. Start by surviving, then shift your focus to thriving.”
5. My tiny family, small house, little life. I love it here.
Bonus joy: leftovers, those garlic biscuits Eric has been making, aqua aerobics, sitting in the sauna with Eric, so many new books, listening to podcasts, clean sheets, a warm shower, my infrared heating pad, the purple iris stained glass panel Eric got me for Christmas, the purple mums he brought home for me from the grocery store, purple, dark chocolate covered almonds, the coconut bonbons Eric made using my grandma’s recipe, the tiny tarts his mom made and sent us, texting with Chris and Mom and Chloe’, that Instagram reel of the wolves sleeping in the snow, crows, the sound of our furnace, a soft baggy hoodie, down pillows and blankets and coats, writing in front of my HappyLight in the morning with a cup of tea and a snack, cousins, twinkle lights, the chance to start over again, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.
Merry everything and happy always, kind and gentle reader. ❤
1. Rest in peace, Jeff and Andy. An update to the obituary, which states, “In addition to his husband, Jeff is survived by his brother, Steven Oaks of Canton, MI.; and beloved Andy, the black lab,” is that sadly, Andy passed the day after Jeff. Andy was a distinguished gentleman and it wasn’t a surprise to his family that he passed or that he would follow Jeff, but it was still double the heartbreak. So many of us are experiencing this holiday season for the first time without someone we really love, and our hearts are so tender. In related news, What Grieving People Really Want During The Holidays This Year.
5. Sinéad O’Connor remembered by Gavin Friday. “The artist and musician on his long friendship with an extraordinary vocalist whose courage helped so many raised in Catholic Ireland.”
14. Tenement Museum to Feature a Black Family’s Apartment for the First Timeon The New York Times. “The museum has shared the stories of immigrants and migrants who lived in New York City in the 19th and 20th centuries for nearly four decades. For the first time, a Black family’s apartment will be included.”
18. Winter poemsfrom the Poetry Foundation. “Perfect for snowy days and long nights by the fire.”
19. Gabor Maté: Healing Principles to Embody in a Traumatized World, a Sounds True podcast. “Why do we suppress our authenticity? How do we reconcile the need to accept things as they are with a desire to change them? What is the pathway to healing in a world that’s breaking our hearts? In this podcast, Tami Simon speaks with renowned physician and author Dr. Gabor Maté about these profound questions, and how the approach he calls Compassionate Inquiry can help us find the answers within ourselves.”
23. How long will you live, according to statistics. My results (based on country where you live, your birthdate, and gender): “We estimate you will live until age 86.8 years.” 30 more years — that is, if the planet and culture remain habitable.
25. I love this story J shared in her recent newsletterabout how a small shift in focus when it comes to setting goals makes a big difference. “None of us can control how other people receive what we put out into the world, so our goal has to be about production – putting good stuff out there, whether it’s art, or expertise, or activism, or love.”
26. Good stuff from Lion’s Roar: Winter Blues (““Perhaps,” says Sylvia Boorstein, “these days of less sunlight are opportunities for more contemplative time, more looking deeply to see what can only be seen in the dark”), and Have a Very Buddhist Christmas (“Joy, giving, family, and peace—people of all faiths can celebrate these values of the holiday season. Seven Buddhists offer their take on yuletide dharma”), and You Don’t Have to Know (“John Tarrant shares how he discovered that not knowing is the best — and maybe the only possible — response to suffering”), and Joyful Giving (“In the spirit of the holidays, six Buddhist teachers share why generosity is the starting place of all the virtues”), and ‘Tis the Season of Compassion (“Author and interfaith spiritual director Janice Lynne Lundy explains how a simple question helps her to keep her heart open – to others, and to herself”).
38. Wisdom from Anam Thubten: “Every human being is sacred. Can you imagine how amazing it would be if humanity suddenly woke up and realized and treated each other accordingly? We would live in a very different world, a much more loving, peaceful, and joyful world.”
41. celebrating the lightfrom Karen Walrond on Chookooloonks. “So here’s my point, my friends: whether or not you celebrate Christmas, or honestly, any of these celebrations, I hope you take a moment during this, the darkest days of the year, to celebrate the light. I hope, whether you’re surrounded by friends and family today, or are instead enjoying sweet solitude, you are reminded of the good in the world. Of the way that love, inevitably, must win…And I hope you remember despite the darkness in the world, with a little effort, we can always find the light.”
Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray) 