June | 2020 | Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray)

1. Morning walks. I finally went on the morning walk, a week and a half after the final one with Sam. It felt weird, awkward, sad. Eric walked Ringo and I walked…myself. Physically I felt off balance, untethered, almost as if there were suddenly no gravity, like I might float off like a lost balloon. P.S. it’s turtle egg laying season.

2. Strawberry season, tiny red sunshine bombs, which means shortcake and pie.

3. Flowers from my garden. The lupines I just put in are already blooming. There are still more blooms to come and I have jars full in my house — on the dining room table, in the bathroom, on my writing desk, next to my bed, on my meditation shrine, on a shelf in my practice room. When you get to the point where you think, “this is a lot of pictures of peonies” just remember that this isn’t even close to all the ones I’ve taken.

4. Practice. The through-line, the constant I count on.

5. The POOL!!! The following picture is the face of a happy human who just spent an hour in the pool. You sign up for 50 minutes in a lane, and there are only four lanes. I kept an eye on the availability this past week and signed up for a less busy time, and had the WHOLE pool ALL TO MYSELF! The sauna is still closed and I didn’t stick around to shower and I could only swim four laps before switching to doing my own private aqua aerobics class but it was so good to be back. I’m going back just after I publish this post and so far, there’s only one other person signed up for a lane during that hour, but there will still be a full empty lane between us.

6. The love of good dogs. I’m not sure this will make sense but I was thinking this week that I don’t miss my first three dogs because I loved them, but because they loved me so much.

Dexter and Obi

Baby Sam’s first trip to the beach

7. My new rubber carpet broom. I am full on geeking out over this thing. Using a vacuum, even those made specifically for pet hair, you just don’t get everything. I’m amazed how much this thing is pulled up, how much better the carpet looks.

On the right is before, the left after

8. My tiny family. Ringo went to see his dermatologist (he has a minor allergy that makes his ears itchy, so we get him checked every six months), and it was the last day of her residency before she moved to California, so she wanted a picture with him. He always hid under my chair during his appointments and she was so patient with him. Ringo also took a nap with me this week, and we had some good yard time. Eric made me a pie.

Bonus joy: sitting in the sun, roses blooming, pizza that we didn’t cook, getting all the laundry done and put away, clean sheets, when the morning is cool enough to open all the windows and run the whole house fan, a/c when it gets too hot, Wild Writing with Laurie and Mikalina and Chloe’, that I got to meet and cuddle Tex when he was still hers, kindness, naps, good books, good TV and films, good podcasts, texting with my mom and brother, reading in bed at night while Ringo and Eric sleep.

From my garden

1. What you can do: Beyond Protests: 5 More Ways To Channel Anger Into Action To Fight Racism, and National Resource List (Google doc full of really great tips and resources), and To the White People Who Keep Asking How to ‘Help’, and Can’t Go Out and Protest? Here’s How to Help From Home, and 47 Very Specific Answers to ‘What Can I Do to Help?, and 15 Groups To Donate To That Support Protesters And Black Lives, and White Women, We Need To Do Better, and Performative Allyship Is Deadly (Here’s What to Do Instead), and Black and Brown People Have Been Protesting for Centuries. It’s White People Who Are Responsible for What Happens Next., and How to Support the Struggle Against Police Brutality, and read this Twitter thread from Ijeoma Oluo. Whatever you do, don’t do this: Conservative Reporter Has Eyes Rolling After Staging Photo To Appear Like She’s Helping Before Peacing Out In Her Mercedes.

2. Support Black businesses: 47 black-owned bookstores across the country that you can support, and 400+ Black-Owned Etsy Shops, and 16 Black-Owned Bookstores You Can Support Right Now, and You can order today from these black-owned independent bookstores, and Black Owned Bookstores in the United States, and How to Fund Black Women. Don’t know what to read? Here’s some ideas: 12 Books Written by Black Women That Should Be Required Reading, and An Anti-Racist Reading List: 20 Highly Rated Nonfiction Books by Black Authors, and Understanding and Dismantling Racism: A Booklist for White Readers.

3. Educate yourself: 158 Resources to Understand Racism in America (“These articles, videos, podcasts and websites from the Smithsonian chronicle the history of anti-black violence and inequality in the United States”), and Introduction to Critical Race Theory (a self-paced free online course from 2017), and Scaffolded Anti-Racism Resources (Google doc), and Anti-Racist Resource Guide (Google doc), and Understanding and Dismantling Racism: A Booklist for White Readers, Answering White People’s Most Commonly Asked Questions about the Black Lives Matter Movement, and follow Lama Rod Owens and Sonya Renee Taylor on Instagram.

4. Meet the 6 teenage girls who organized peaceful Nashville protest drawing at least 10,000. In related news, Black Lives Matter protests aren’t just happening in big cities. They’re also in America’s small towns, and Black Lives Matter demonstrators driving change in policing policies, and How to Protest Police Brutality Safely and Effectively, and Federal judge halts Denver police from using chemicals or projectiles on peaceful protesters, and Teen who built coronavirus tracking tool creates site to keep Floyd protesters safe, and The man who sheltered 80 US protesters (video), and Corrosive Effects of Tear Gas Could Intensify Coronavirus Pandemic on The New York Times, and The lethal history of rubber bullets—and why they should never be used on peaceful protesters.

5. A detailed timeline of all the ways Trump failed to respond to the coronavirus. “The federal coronavirus response shows a president dead set on avoiding responsibility for the pandemic.”

6. What to Do If You Have Coronavirus and No Caregiver to Help. In related news, On Dying Alone: ‘Behind Every COVID-19 Case, There Is A Story’.

7. The New White House Fence Is Getting Covered In Protest Art. Put up some of your own: Printable Black Lives Matter + Antiracist Signs and Posters. Also, D.C. Mayor Gets ‘Black Lives Matter’ Painted On Street Leading Up To White House, Gets Slammed By Area’s BLM Chapter.

8. The police response to protests against police violence is only proving the point that there’s a serious problem. Denver police officer fired over ‘let’s start a riot’ photo, and Police are Attacking Journalists at Protests. We’re Suing., and The Police Are Targeting Protest Medics, Fact check: Police did destroy a medic area during protests in Asheville, North Carolina, and and 2 Buffalo Police Officers Charged in Shoving of 75-Year-Old Demonstrator, 57 Buffalo officers resign from Emergency Response Team after two cops suspended (they resigned in SUPPORT of the officers who were suspended), and OSU graduate, 22, dies after attending protests in Columbus, and At Least 12 Have Died In Nationwide Protests. Here’s Who They Were. and Police Kneeling Is Meaningless, and Don’t be fooled by seemingly good cops kneeling at protests — it’s a stunt, and What to do about it: A Practical Guide to Defunding the Police, and Los Angeles Mayor Eric Garcetti, City Officials Cutting $100 Million-$150 Million From LAPD Budget, Funds To Be Reinvested In Communities Of Color, and How to Never Call the Cops Again: A Guide with a Few Alternatives to Calling Police, and Minneapolis To Disband Police Department, and Police And Their Apologists Have Already Lost The Argument, and The Police Are Rioting. We Need to Talk About It on The New York Times, and The Police Are Gaslighting Us, and Violent protests are not the story. Police violence is, Police Across the U.S. Unleashed Violence on Peaceful Protesters (video), and Peaceful Protesters Tear-Gassed To Clear Way For Trump Church Photo-Op, and Six Ideas for a Cop-Free World, and Seven Reasons Police Brutality Is Systemic, Not Anecdotal.

9. We Must Dismantle White Supremacy, a statement from Ben & Jerry’s. In related news, People applaud Ben & Jerry’s for condemning white supremacy in strongest corporate statement yet, and Why Ben & Jerry’s statement on white supremacy is so extraordinary, and LEGO Asks Retailers to Stop Advertising Police Sets, Pledges $4M to Fight Racism, and ‘Sesame Street’ Vows To ‘Speak Out Against Racism’ Amid Ongoing Protests.

10. Teen Who Captured George Floyd Murder On Film Working With Trauma Therapist. In related news, Minnesota files civil rights charge against Minneapolis police over Floyd death, and County Officials Rule George Floyd Death Was A Homicide.

11. I Don’t Need ‘Love’ Texts From My White Friends on The New York Times, “I need them to fight anti-blackness.” In related news, No, I’m not okay and I am not okay.

12. Disrupting Systemic Whiteness in the Mindfulness Movement. “A Q&A with Dr. Angela Rose Black on the omission of the voices and wisdom of people of color in mindfulness research, teaching, and practice.”

13. I should have spoken up sooner from Paul Jarvis. “Believing, ‘But I’m not racist!’ yet doing nothing to change a racist system is allowing racism to continue. Black people shouldn’t be alone in the fight to take down an oppressive system which they did not create.”

14. 2 Uncles And A ‘Doorway To Imagination’ Spread Love On Social Media.

15. Recipes I want to try: The 50 Best Cake Recipes in the World, and Apple Pull-Apart Bread, and Artisan Apple Bread, and Lemon Sweet Rolls.

16. Animals Sniffing Flowers Is The Cutest Thing Ever.

17. Good stuff from Seth Godin: Listening is difficult, and Stuck on enormity, and I can’t imagine.

18. Angry and curious (a zine) from Austin Kleon.

19. Wisdom from Hafiz: “Love sometimes gets tired of speaking sweetly / And wants to rip to shreds / All your erroneous notions of truth.”

20. Harry Potter at Home on Spotify. “Some of the best-loved names of global entertainment, music and sport lend their voices to the story they love by reading the timeless first Harry Potter book, with new chapters every week.”

21. Darkness Is Asking To Be Loved on Lion’s Roar. “If you’re still holding up and trying to meditate right now, Zenju Earthlyn Manuel invites you to fall down.”