Daily Archives: January 13, 2016

Three Truths and One Wish

1. Truth: Yesterday morning, a cup of tea saved me. My favorite is Good Earth Sweet & Spicy. Yesterday was only my second day back at my CSU work after break, and I woke up feeling crappy. I taught my yoga class and felt a bit better, but by the time I got to campus, my throat was killing me. Luckily, I had some packets of my favorite tea in my office, so made myself a cup in a mug my brother gave me a few years ago for my birthday. Something about that tiny little ritual made me able to make it to lunch time, after which I went home and stayed on the couch for the rest of the day.

2. Truth: I know the life I want for myself, the ideal, but I can’t seem to take that final big step. It feels in a lot of ways like I’m standing at the edge of a cliff, and the only thing left is to step off, go over the edge, even though I have no idea exactly how or where I’ll land. There are so many reasons why I don’t want to move, why I’m hesitating — one big one being I have a very comfortable, relatively predictable life right now, and the change I want to make would put me in a place of unknowns and discomfort, a land without a map.

3. Truth: I’m okay with the inbetween. I don’t need to know exactly how this will work out. I don’t need to make any big decisions right now. I don’t need to play this big or lean in or live large or take any kind of risk or upscale anything. It’s okay if I just stand here in the quiet for a bit, contemplating my choices and enjoying the view. I will know when it is time to move, and it won’t be a decision my mind or even my heart makes. It will be a choice that comes from my gut, from a place of deep knowing that doesn’t have to explain itself.

One wish: If you find yourself similarly at a crossroads, may you know that it’s perfectly fine to pause and be still, to do nothing for as long as it takes to muster the courage to choose.