1. Truth: I am mourning the end of the summer harvest, hard. When I went to the grocery store the other day, the watermelons were from Texas not Colorado, and the corn looked terrible, wilted with fat kernels that meant it would taste more starchy than sweet. Even though I bought the oregano and purple onion I’d need to make more roasted tomato soup, I’m not sure there are enough tomatoes left. Eric hasn’t brought me any strawberries from our plants out front for days. There’s only a few grasshoppers and the bees are almost all gone. The weather is cooler and the leaves are starting to finally turn and drop (much later than usual), and while I was ready for it to not be in the 80s every dang day, I’m sad.
2. Truth: There are times at my CSU job when I feel like I’m just wasting time. Yesterday it was when I was coding a departmental faculty and staff picture board, converting an older version to a page on our WordPress platform. It felt so tedious, so unimportant, so dumb, and it hit me that this is how I’m spending a large amount of my time. I tried to cheer myself up by telling myself this time would be converted to funds that I could use for better things, but it didn’t really work.
3. Truth: I don’t need to be great or popular or adored. I was telling a few friends, fellow yoga teachers this after my class yesterday morning. I told them I was happy that I’d had three return students, which is a big deal for a 7 am class, and how I don’t let myself believe it means I’m so good that they came back but rather it means I don’t suck, and that’s all I want. That makes me happy. That’s good enough for me. I know that if I keep at it, I might someday be adored by a few students, a couple of humans, and in the meantime I’m so grateful to the ones that keep showing up, keep allowing me to practice with them.
One wish: That we can feel at ease, content, satisfied with all the ways that things are changing, as well as all the ways that they are staying the same.