Three Truths and One Wish

hellofall1. Truth: Four years ago today, I published my first blog post. Luckily WordPress reminded me of the anniversary otherwise I would have posted like it was any other day. So much has changed in four years, and I think if I were somehow able to tell who I was back then where I’d be now, she wouldn’t have believed it. I published an ebook, I’m a certified yoga instructor with a regular weekly class, I took Buddhist refuge vows so when someone asks if I’m a Buddhist my answer is “yes” instead of “well, I study and practice Buddhism, but I’m not actually a Buddhist,” I stopped dieting and overexercising, I got help for my dis-ordered eating, I am making peace with my body and food, I’m still at CSU but I’m now the Communications Coordinator for the English department, people I used to follow online are now my friends in real life, I’ve been published in print more than once, I’m getting paid for some of my blogging, I’ve done numerous guest posts, I’ve published 1370 posts here, I lost Dexter and got Ringo, and I’ve attended numerous workshops and retreats. The me that said in that first post, “It doesn’t seem to matter how bad I want it, how important it is to me, how long I’ve thought about it, how much I dream about it, or how deeply I long for it – it is hard to begin,” would be amazed at what we’ve accomplished, would be so happy she took the risk and started.

2. Truth: I worry that I’m boring. This was the truth that came to me as I was writing this morning, before I realized it was my blogiversary. I’m so white, so regular, so first world, so middle class, so routine, so same, so uninteresting. Evidence: I love fall. My favorite outfit is a black vneck tshirt, cargo pants, and Birkenstock sandals. I’d rather stay home than go out, especially at night and on the weekends. Clean pjs and clean sheets make me stupid happy. I love doing laundry. I’ve been married to the same person for 22 years, and I still like him and he’s just as boring as me. I talk about my dogs too much, have too many pictures of them sleeping and videos of them playing. I go to bed by 9 pm every night and get up at 5 am every morning. I drive a white four-door Honda Accord with a gray interior that is 18 years old. I’ve worked at the same place for 14 years. I have not one but two English degrees. Boring. But I also know that’s just a story, a lie I tell to keep myself safe, because if I’m boring, I’ll stay quiet, not risk anything.

3. Truth: I’m trying to focus on just one thing in my creative work. I had a coaching session with the amazing Caroline Leon of Life is Limitless yesterday, and this is just one of the things she helped me clarify, that trying to attempt ALL THE THINGS was holding me back, was overwhelming me. We figured out one thing I could focus on, something that I could complete that would give me a sense of movement without making me too crazed — I’m going to offer an in person half day workshop, a mix of yoga and mediation and writing, and run it sometime in October so that it’s completed by November 1st. I spent a lot of my writing session this morning planning it out. I’m hoping to cultivate more ease overall in my life (because it’s rare) without having to stop altogether, and this focusing on one thing at a time in my creative work seems like a brilliant idea.

One wish: That we could all slow down, find some ease and focus. That we could honor the celebrations big and small, see beyond the limiting stories we tell ourselves, and find ease in effort that nourishes us.

16 thoughts on “Three Truths and One Wish

  1. Erin Geesaman Rabke

    Hello beautiful Jill and happy blogiversary! Lovely post, and I so relate to the challenge of attempting “all the things.” 🙂 And from where I sit, you’re not boring at all, but wonderful. Thank you for sharing. xo

    Reply
  2. Rosann

    Wow – 4 years! Yup, I guess it’s been that long since I stumbled on your site and was drawn in by your writing. There’s been a lot of life and living in those years – learning, growing, and just BE-ing. Your inspiring, open-hearted posts are a welcome part of my day – thank you, Jill 😊

    Reply
  3. Amanda Cisco

    Hi Jill, Happy blogiversary to you. I enjoy your blog so much. I like that you write about your process in figuring out your life and this world. You are vulnerable here and therefore brave. It’s wonderful to witness someone’s transformation from frustration and want to fruition. It is rare that we get to see it, and you write about it all so beautifully. Life is work and struggle AND beautiful and funny all at once. I thank you for this blog.

    Reply
  4. Susie Miller

    I think it’s /interesting /how /boring /you are! In fact, it makes you pretty unique.

    Love this post and happy anniversary! So inspiring to see what you’ve manifested in your life.

    xoxS

    Reply
  5. Marylinn Kelly

    I think in the misinterpretation of our own stories, we may confuse steady with boring. To be consistent and level and grounded makes one a calm center in the midst of too-common confusion. I feel relief in the notion of focusing on one thing, for I have been trying to bring myself back to drawing with little success; it is just not quite here. I will be aware of that and see if I can practice more patience with myself. Wishing you a very happy blogiversary. xo

    Reply
    1. jillsalahub Post author

      Exactly, Marylinn! If I am boring, I am also calm and comforting and dependable and kind. What I find so interesting about the idea of focusing on one thing at a time is that most of my practice is all about being present, being in the moment, allowing whatever might arise, but somehow in my creative “work” I turn into a whole other animal. Thank you. ❤

      Reply
  6. Sunny

    I’m so glad the Jill of 4 years ago started! I am always surprised where the Sunny of 4 years ago ended up and can’t imagine the Sunny of 4 years from now! Your statements about seeing beyond the limiting stories we tell ourselves really resonated with me today. Thank you for being you!

    Reply
  7. ritaramstad

    So much of success is just continuing to show up, isn’t it? I say “just” as if that were an easy thing to do, but clearly it is not. If it were, more of us would do it. Feeling grateful that you have the stamina–and heart–that you do.

    Reply

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