Wishcasting Wednesday

Yesterday, my therapist pointed out that I’m trying to find a formula. I was confused and uncomfortable and irritated by that — because she’s right. All of my research and work and searching and contemplating and pushing, all my suffering is a quest to find the right way, the perfect strategy, the foolproof plan, the trick to having a happy, content, successful, safe life. Every book I buy, every new blog I subscribe to, every new class I take, every workshop or retreat I sign up for, all of it is my tiny little heart looking for the secret to peace, to love everlasting and pure. I know it intellectually, but I can’t seem to get myself to accept that this is not going to work. I make grand gestures of letting go, only to feel again the familiar tightness in my chest, to look down and see my hands clenched into fists.

It’s Wishcasting Wednesday, and Jamie Ridler asks “what do you wish to discover?” To discover means finding something or someone unexpectedly, becoming aware — to find, detect, uncover, reveal, unearth.

I wish to discover my truth. The essential and fundamental fact of myself, reality.

I wish to discover my confidence. To manifest what Susan Piver describes as “the willingness to be as ridiculous, luminous, intelligent, and kind as you really are, without embarrassment.”

I wish to discover my basic goodness. To be fully aware of and connected to my innate wisdom and compassion and power.

I wish to discover presence in each moment. To become aware of what is, exactly as it is, to accept it without judgement — to show up for my life, with an open heart, at ease in the vast space of now.

 

12 thoughts on “Wishcasting Wednesday

  1. Rita

    Your writing today prompts a question in me: Is it only in fully engaging with something outside of ourselves that we can find ourselves? When I think of my own experience, I think it is only when I am doing that–when I am consumed with a question or project outside of my own body and mind–that I find the elusive peace/happiness, that I feel my most true self, that I feel confident I have value to offer, that I am good. I think that might be why I felt compelled, a few years back, to focus on creating home–after a good year of intense (and painful) self-examination, that is what I craved doing. And the doing of it has helped me find answers that previously eluded me.

    Really, these thoughts aren’t answers or conclusions. They are very much wonderings.

    Reply
    1. jillsalahub Post author

      I definitely agree that getting outside my own head, beyond the tiny me brings me into contact with a larger truth, with reality as it’s happening and as it is, takes me out of the story I’m normally telling myself about who I am and how things are and what all that means. Being present, mind and body and heart all in the same timezone, no matter what you are doing or what is happening is definitely the path.

      Reply
  2. plumstedchurch

    Wow. So many good wishes, beautiful words and thoughts here. So you’re looking for the formula? My problem is I’m always looking for the manual- the playbook. The thing that tells me what I’m supposed to do next. Haven’t found it yet. Anyhow, beautiful post. As you wish for yourself, so I wish for you also.

    Reply

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