One Truth and Three Wishes

I know, it’s backwards: One Truth and Three Wishes. That’s not typically how this works. It’s supposed to be the other way around, three truths and one wish, but there is only one thing that I know for sure today, one thing I can be certain of, and the rest is wishes.
decembersky03

One Truth: I am tired. I know I say this a lot, but this is different. This is deep in my bones, head to toe, all the way down, all the way in and all over, every part of me depleted: body, heart, mind, spirit. I want to put clean sheets on the bed, clean pjs on my body, turn off the ringer on the phone, shut down my computer, and do nothing but sleep and eat and snuggle with my dogs for days, and if I have any energy at all, that will be for walking and reading. It sounds so dreamy.

It has something to do with the time of year, the end of a teaching semester, the ramp up to the holidays, the lack of light, the cold, everything turning brown and gray, dry and brittle, the promise of snow, a long season of goodbying with Dexter, the coming of a new year, the reflecting and planning and reverbing and emerging. I want to hibernate, to sleep, to rest. I am tired.

Then early today I read a poem from John O’Donohue, and it touched into what I was wishing, longing for, craving–for you kind and gentle reader, for me, for everyone. So here it is, broken down into three wishes.
threewishes

1. Wish: “May all that is unforgiven in you be released.” Wouldn’t it be wonderful to walk into the new year unburdened by old grudges, ancient angers, bitter resentments, those old stories about unfairness, betrayal and hurt? Holding on to them, feeding them, keeping them warm and alive has only generated more suffering. I would be much lighter, much happier if I could let these go, surrender them to the wind.

2. Wish: “May your fears yield their deepest tranquilities.” I can also imagine the great relief I would feel if my fears softened, if panic and tension were to ease, if I could surrender to what is, sink into the comfort of reality with an open heart, have confidence in my natural, fundamental wisdom and compassion. I am wishing for this.

3. Wish: “May all that is unlived in you blossom into a future graced with love.” This one especially. I keep reading the line, over and over, feeling every part of me say “yes, please.”

To Come Home To Yourself
May all that is unforgiven in you
Be released.
May your fears yield
their deepest tranquilities.
May all that is unlived in you
Blossom into a future
Graced with love.
~John O’Donohue

6 thoughts on “One Truth and Three Wishes

  1. Sherry Richert Belul

    Visiting your blog is always a resting place.

    All day long I’ve been feeling this hunger for solitude. To get offline. To silence all the clamor of the inbox and facebook and other online 27/7 siren calls. Starting right now, I’m giving myself permission to be a part of life as it wants to unfold today. To stop pushing. To release. Yield. Unfold. Blossom. All on life’s timeline. Not mine.

    Wonder what life would be like if we all gave ourselves permission to put our pajamas on and slip under the covers more often? xo

    Reply
    1. jillsalahub Post author

      I can absolutely imagine what that life would be like, and feel quite silly sometimes for not simply allowing it. I am making time for it this week though–I just have to. I find myself so called by this season, by nature to slow down, to do as the environment and the animals do, so much smarter than me. Wishing you ease, a cradle of lovingkindness.

      Reply
  2. Stephanie at Visible and Real

    So, I usually wait to visit your posts when I have some time and space, which means that they sometimes stack up, but I always love what I read. What I always find so interesting, Jill, is that your writing and your words hit me with a visceral response. This one felt like the butterflies in my chest waking up and flickering around, which is a signal for me that this is touching some place that’s both scary and important. (Not scary in the Scary way, but in the it takes some fearlessness to go there, if that makes sense.)

    All that to say … thank you.

    Reply

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