If you haven’t read any of Mary Oliver’s work, or even if you think you don’t particularly like poetry, I highly recommend her to you. If you read one of her poems and are not moved, well okay then, I was wrong. I don’t mind being wrong. Not everyone can love what I love, or see what I see. But just this once, I might be right.
You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
― Mary Oliver, Wild Geese
To share Mary Oliver with you, to either introduce you or remind you, is a small thing. Or is it?
I was writing the other day about doing “great work,” and used what Operation Smile does as an example. But that’s not the whole story. You don’t have to do something technically difficult that not many people know how to do, or make a grand gesture, spend a lot of money or time, cause a stir, be a big deal or make a big fuss or raise a stink–you can make a difference by doing the small things.
Leave a note on someone’s windshield, or in their mailbox or lunchbox, or tie it to a tree branch in the local park, or tuck it into a book at the library.
If you are headed into a grocery store and plan to use a cart anyway, and you see that someone is just about done with theirs, and they’ll have to take it back or abandon it, ask them if you can take it for them.
Hold the door open for someone. Let someone cut in line. Give someone a sincere compliment. Really listen when someone is talking to you, look them right in the eye. Talk to a stranger, (you may be the only one that did all day). Pet your dog. Tell someone that you love them. Express your gratitude. Encourage someone. Instead of complaining, do a chore with love and attention. When you eat, feel gratitude for all the people and the planet that worked to get you that meal. Be kind to someone who doesn’t deserve it. If someone, almost in passing, tells you about something they really want, and you can make it happen for them–make it happen.
Share all the good things. Smile. Don’t be a jerk. These are really small things, but they make a huge difference.
And please don’t forget, you should be doing nice things for yourself too. Honor yourself, rest when you need to, stop adding so many things to your to-do list, do the little stuff that will restore you: listen to your favorite song, take a nap, skip yoga and go on a date with your husband instead, take a walk, stretch, take a deep breath, stop apologizing for being who you are, ask for what you need, say “yes” when someone offers to help. Tell yourself you are loved, thank your body for carrying you around, be grateful that you showed up, that you keep showing up. Here’s a list of a few more things you might do for yourself, from the amazing Rachel W. Cole.
- What are the small things you do? What small thing could you do RIGHT NOW, for yourself or someone else? If you need help thinking of something, there’s a whole website devoted to the subject: “Do One Nice Thing.”
Update: In my mailbox this morning was this quote from Mother Teresa: “I don’t do great things. I do small things with great love.”
Another update: Even more ideas for small things you can do, from Operation Nice.
Open Space Practice, (AKA: A Thousand Shades of Gray) 