1. Truth: I’m sad to leave, AND ready to go home.  I know I said the same thing last week, but it’s still true. The only difference is that I might be a little more ready to go home now than I was a week ago.

2. Truth: This summer may from now on be known as the “things aren’t always as bad as they seem” vacation. This trip was filled with a lot of yuck, some of which turned out to not be as terrible as first thought, and other stuff that seems hard now but might end up being for the best. In the moment, it can feel so claustrophobic and unworkable, but with some time and distance and a little more information, it might not be so bad after all. All I can do is keep trying, not give up.

3. Truth: I couldn’t do any of this without Eric. I couldn’t afford this vacation, I couldn’t drive for two days with two dogs to get here, and I certainly couldn’t meet any of the confusion and challenges of life without his support and good cheer. Okay, I probably could — but why?

One wish: Wherever we travel and whatever we encounter, may we meet it with good cheer and wisdom and compassion, and may we have friends and loved ones to support us along the way. And because this week seems to warrant an extra wish, I offer you this metta (loving kindness) practice from Anam Thubten:

May we be safe from inner and outer harm,
may we be free from guilt, shame, and hatred,
may we enjoy mental and physical well being,
may we live with the ease of an open heart,
may we go beyond our inner darkness,
and awaken to our radiant true nature as boundless love.

May we express loving kindness toward each other so that war, conflict and every form of strife come to an end, allowing peace and harmony to pervade the entire world.

1. Truth: There are some things I don’t tell you. Even though I’m pretty open, honest on this blog, there are a few things I just don’t write about here. Some are other people’s dis-ease, illness, and addiction, and some are my own. It seems like in the past year I’ve had to be quieter here than before because there’s been more of that going on behind the scenes. Take this vacation for example. Some major things have gone down that I can’t post about. I know that’s right, but part of me longs for the comfort of telling you.

2. Truth: I’m ready to go home, but I’m sad about leaving. We have one week left, and most of the time I feel simultaneously like I never want to leave AND I can’t get back to Colorado fast enough. It’s the strangest thing. I love it here so much — the beach, the ocean, the weather, all the green, the fresh berries and veggies and seafood, the long lazy days, two and a half hour walks every morning, naps, reading books, nowhere I have to be and nothing I have to do, family so close by. But I also love Colorado — the mountains, the river, the parks where we walk two hours every morning, my garden, my tiny little house with my comfortable bed and new bathroom, my friends, my favorite yoga teachers, my meditation cushion, my backyard, my physical therapist, the dogs’ vets, everything I’m used to and need right there. It’s confusing.

3. Truth: Just because something is the right choice doesn’t make it easy. I know it’s right to keep quiet about some things. I know it’s right that Eric and I live in Colorado, so far away from our families. I know that vacations have to end at some point. And just because something is true, inevitable even, doesn’t make it easy. I know that I can’t protect people I love or myself from bad things happening, that we are all going to get sick, lose our minds a little, make bad choices that have consequences, maybe even get old, and eventually die.

One wish: May we all get our version of whatever comfort and strength we need. No matter how bad it gets, may we find a way to keep going. May we find the magic and the medicine.