Tag Archives: Letting Go

Book Writing Saturday

When I first read this message from the Universe, via Andrea Scher (given to me at her Mondo Beyondo session at the World Domination Summit this past summer), I knew it was true. I had absolutely no doubt about it.

I brought the note home with me, carrying it from Portland to Waldport, and then to Fort Collins as if it were a precious gift, a sacred text, a magic object. I placed it on my writing desk with a collection of other important, inspiring items, right where I would see it first thing every morning when I sat down to write.

Before I start a new project, and every Saturday when I sit down to start my four hours of work on my book, I read a prayer, an incantation that includes “I am here to lovingly and gently manifest the basic goodness that is at the heart of all, to embody wisdom and kindness, to be a warrior with a brave and tender heart.” Whether I remember to read it or not, this is always my intention, with my work, my art, my life.

It was clear to me when I first read my message from the Universe, written in Andrea’s handwriting, that “the dream” was to write and publish a book, the book I’ve been living, carrying in my heart. This was obvious to me, no doubt and no confusion. I though the “space” I was to make was obvious too–clear out the space in your schedule, make time. More specifically, I committed to these four hours, Book Writing Saturday.

I still think making time, committing to that is right, but it’s not everything. There is more to “making space” than just making time. Space is freedom. Space is unlimited and boundless, but also the measurable distance between, unoccupied, open, available. Space is the gap, the blank, the breath, the quiet between words. Space is what occupies this moment. Space is where my voice echoes and sounds, takes shape and is heard. Space is open and vast, can accommodate and contain anything and everything, or nothing.

I need to open up space, allow for things to arise (and dissolve) naturally while I remain open and available. I need to clear out the confusion and clutter, quiet the chatter, to simplify, to surrender, to let go. The other part of the book that needs space is the part I’m living, losing the 2nd dog in three years to cancer. Losing Obi started this book, this life rehab, and here I am again. This loss, this letting go needs my attention, my time, my awareness.

I am here to lovingly and gently manifest the basic goodness that is at the heart of all, to embody wisdom and kindness, to be a warrior with a brave and tender heart.

Day of Rest

Today I find myself trying to maintain my awareness of impermanence without slipping into dread or despair. When we were walking the dogs this morning, Eric told me to turn around, to see where our four sets of feet walking together had left a path in the frozen grass. Our prints were so solid and clear, but I know that as soon as the sun warms this spot, they will disappear.

The change itself isn’t the problem — it’s fighting the change, fearing the change, not wanting things to be different. ~Leo Babauta

Because of the cold temperatures the past few nights, the Ash trees were rapidly dropping their leaves as they warmed in the morning sun. If you stood under one, they fell so fast it was like golden rain.

We are here to notice each thing so each thing gets noticed. ~Annie Dillard

So much about life is break your heart beautiful, but absolutely temporary. You could miss it entirely if you aren’t paying attention, or ruin it if you are holding on too tight. It’s why you have to stop, look directly and close when it’s there, and gently let it go when it goes. You have to open your heart and love what you love, forgetting completely in that moment to fear loss or anticipate grief.

To live in this world
you must be able
to do three things:
to love what is mortal;
to hold it
against your bones knowing
your own life depends on it;
and, when the time comes to let it go,
to let it go.
~ Mary Oliver