1. Morning walks. I love fall in Colorado, so much. It’s a bit different this year because we’ve had and continue to have so much rain (“so much” in Colorado terms). I’d usually be walking only by the river and the ponds this time of year, but when it rains, those trails are too muddy. The weather has also changed how things look — grass is still green, some of the trees aren’t turning color yet and some won’t this year at all, so it isn’t golden the way it normally would be. I miss that. 

2. Another trip to Oregon. Although I could live without the “why” of this trip, I am grateful that I can go. My dad is still there, although that could change before I arrive. My mom is supposed to get to go back home in a few days, so she’ll be there and is looking forward to seeing me. And I’ll get to see my brother, thank him in person for everything he’s been doing in the weeks between my last trip and this one, be able to give him a bit of a break. I’ll also get to be there for my niece Annie’s birthday and my mom & dad’s 59th wedding anniversary. And, I’ll get back to Colorado in time for Eric & I’s 30th wedding anniversary. 

3. Practice. I’m feeling the pull to sink even deeper into contemplation, study, and practice. It nourishes me, supports me, strengthens me, saves me. I wouldn’t still be here without it.

4. The chance to begin again, to start over. No matter how far you wander off, no matter how deep in the weeds you get, you can always start again, redirect, recalibrate. Getting lost, plans not working out, things being different or more difficult than you expected, or even simply changing your mind are not signs of failure or reasons to despair or give up. When you notice you’ve drifted off, just come back, start over as many times as necessary.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. I’m taking Ringo in this week to get a mystery lump checked by his vet. We could use all your good thoughts around that, because if something bad is happening to Ringo on top of everything else, I may lose my sh*t. You know how “they say” that when things go down in your life, you find out who your true friends are? That’s so true, and related to that, I picked the best partner for myself in Eric. He’s always so good to me, has been so supportive.

Bonus joy: aqua aerobics, sitting in the sauna, the hydromassage chair, training with Shelby and the gang, dark chocolate covered walnuts, chocolate zucchini bread, scrambled eggs, watching Iron Chef and Snapped with Eric, making each other laugh, letters and texts from Chloe’, memes from Carrie and how riled up she gets on my behalf, texting with Shellie and Chris and Mom, malas, peanut butter, all the pillows, down blankets, wool socks, honeybees, barbeque, practicing with my writing sangha, good doctors, good neighbors, other people’s dogs, the quiet of the graveyard, gummies, writing in the morning with my HappyLight and a mug of green tea, seeing Lindsey, maple trees, seeds, listening to music and podcasts, reconnecting with good friends, getting books from the library, Maria Bamford’s book, community, naps, art, reading in bed at night while Ringo and Eric sleep. 

1. Morning walks. Now when we leave it’s still dark as the season is turning towards fall, my favorite season in Colorado. This week we saw rabbitbrush and aster blooms, three racoons, two deer, three beaver swimming in McMurry Pond, and two owls talking to each other in the big trees at the cemetery. I heard coyotes yipping too. I’m glad that with the cooler weather and fewer mosquitoes that we can go back to some of our favorite routes by the water. Right now, it’s necessary medicine.

2. Practice, and teaching what I practice. This week, I was subbing a donation based meditation class with only one person in attendance when I was “zoombombed.” They were in our online session with their camera turned off and when I began to give instruction, offering a loving-kindness meditation, they turned their camera on. You know how when you see something you weren’t expecting and it takes a moment to realize what you are looking at? That happened, and when I realized what it was (it was a person with a penis, masturbating, the camera positioned so all I could see was hips, hands, pubic hair, etc.), I was so shocked it took a few more seconds to react, get them out of the session, block and report them. I reported it to both the studio and the police, and the studio has made some changes and created a protocol for if it happens again, but most likely the person will never be identified, let alone charged. It was scary in the moment, as I was alone in a public place and I’d said so to this person, that it was going to be just us, but the aftermath has been mostly sadness and disappointment. A few days later, I taught my regular yoga class at Red Sage for the first time in weeks, and it was the best thing I could have done for myself. It reminded me why I teach and how what I teach impacts my students in a positive way. Practice supports me in all the aspects of my life, making whatever I experience so much more manageable. 

3 & 4. Good food and good friends. I have a few beloved friends who have been really showing up for me lately, when I really really needed it. They share food and memes, tears and laughter, and their time, their attention, their open hearts. I’m so grateful for them. 

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. I love it here. There’s no place I’d rather be, even when I sometimes have to be.

Bonus joy: books, listening to podcasts, a big glass of cold clean water, naps, dark chocolate, chocolate zucchini bread, walnuts, raspberries, grocery shopping, good neighbors, finishing the laundry, pay day, a warm shower, being able to start over — again, weighted blankets, down pillows and blankets, a dishwasher, a sunny morning, how green our grass still is this late in the summer, the bees on our Rocky Mountain bee plant, the smell of rabbitbrush, texting with my brother and Chloe’, practicing with my writing sangha, watching the original Iron Chef with Eric and all the times he says, “I don’t remember this one, do you remember it?”, making each other laugh, hugs, ink refills, Bluetooth speakers, the story Eric told me about he and Ringo hearing coyotes howling on their walk and stopping to listen and Ringo starting to howl with them, making someone cry in a good way, baking, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.