1. Morning walks. They were pretty chilly this week. We are having a weird fall into winter, as our overnight temperatures are pretty normal but our daytime temps are in the 50s and some days even get up to 60 degrees. I sure wish we would get a big snow.

The following are some of the pictures Eric took this week, either on walks with Ringo or on runs on his own. I love the ones of Ringo with the sun.

2. Practice. This week at Red Sage, we got to have THREE dogs with us. It was a bit more rowdy than usual, but the best kind of chaos. At one point. I cued a pose and added “this is going to make you vulnerable to butt sniffs” and after they stopped laughing, one of my students said, “I bet you’ve never said that in a yoga class before.”

3. Texting. Now that it’s even more common for my Oregon family, one thing it does is keep me “in the loop” about what’s going on there. This week it was another aunt in the hospital with symptoms that might be “the big bad.” Being able to keep track of what was going on, offer support and send love means a lot. I miss being able to text with my mom. She finally got a smartphone just before COVID, and during those dark days it was especially nice to be able to keep in touch so easily, check in regularly and send her pictures. Yesterday we got our Christmas tree and I didn’t even send her a picture. The last text I have from her that she sent independently without help is from May of this year. Clearly it was getting harder for her, as the first text of that day was a picture of her lap, but the last one ended with, “Love you, Mom.” *sigh* 

4. Staying home. Eric will occasionally tease me, ask me “When was the last time you left the house?” The joke is even funnier when I have to struggle to answer because I can’t remember. I leave mostly when I have to — to get groceries, to go to an appointment or the gym, to teach yoga — but mostly, if I have a choice, I stay here. Why wouldn’t I? Most of my favorite things are here.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. How can something so small be so expansive, so vast, so substantial, so immense, so deep, so wide, so BIG?

Bonus joy: going with Ringo and Eric to pick out our Christmas tree, baked ziti, toast, clean sheets, twinkle lights, gummies, the sound of the furnace kicking on, a warm shower, down blankets and pillows and coats, other people’s kids and dogs and gardens, how excited Theresa gets to see the dogs that visit her studio, taking Ringo to “play” with Teri at Red Sage, how cute he is in his winter coat, texting with Chris and “the girls” and Chloe’, sharing memes and reels with Carrie and Kari and Shellie, training with Shelby and the gang, the pool, aqua aerobics, the hydromassage chair, sitting in the sauna, compression socks, a new toothbrush head, stickers, naps, listening to podcasts, new music, watching TV (the documentary on Peacock about Girls Gone Wild was really good, and I’m surprised how much Joe Francis reminds me of Donald Trump — such an arrogant creepy failure), comedy, true crime, documentaries — in particular about cults and famous people or businesses gone bad, getting books from the library for my Kindle — I use an app on my phone and don’t even need to leave the house (see item #4 on this week’s list), clean laundry, being able to listen in my car to podcasts or music that’s on my phone, knowing how to cook and having “backstock” in my pantry (because when I don’t have a plan and haven’t gone to the grocery store, I can usually put together something from what we already have), leftovers, toffee, writing with my Friday morning sangha, acupuncture, tarot, my weighted blanket, my moon nightlight, reading in bed while Eric and Ringo sleep.   

1. Morning walks. We had some really cold mornings this week, 12-19 degrees, (but no snow of any significance and I’m so ready for it!), and Eric was on fall break, so I only went on one of the walks and he did the rest — and even when I went, we waited a bit to leave until it was light out and getting a bit warmer, so even though I got up at our regular time, I immediately got on the couch and took a nap until we were finally ready to go.

2. Eric. I loved having him around more this week, after so many months of him working almost every day and later than usual. We were standing in the kitchen one morning talking as I was washing the tea cup I use for the herbs my acupuncturist gives me. It’s a gorgeous Japanese hand-crafted cup with no handle, the body glazed a tan rough speckle pattern and the rim a shiny smooth ripple of light blue, which always reminded me of the beach, that point where the water meets the sand. A friend gave it to me and for a long time I didn’t even use it, just sat it on my writing desk to admire. 

While Eric and I were talking, I was drying the cup and as I turned away from the sink, still rubbing at the remaining water with the towel, it slipped out of my hands and shattered on the floor. Ringo came running to see what was happening, alerted by the sound of the mug hitting the floor and my yelp as it did. I picked up the bigger pieces while Eric vacuumed up the smaller shards. As I am wont to do, one of my first thoughts was, “What does this mean?” It was my special cup for my herbs, which I brew and drink every morning and night, a tiny ritual, given to me by a friend, so is there a message here? I know it’s irrational and dumb to think like that, but I can’t seem to break the habit of looking for hidden meaning in everything.

I didn’t think much more about it because it was time to go write with my Friday morning group. I wrote a bit about the mug during our session. Eric had left to go to the gym, and was still gone when we finished up. I came in to the kitchen and found this on the counter.

It turns out, Eric had already bought me a new tiny Japanese mug for Christmas, and he said as soon as my other hit the floor, he knew he’d give it to me early. So not only did he help me clean up the broken bits, he replaced what I’d lost in the breaking — there’s a metaphor in there somewhere, I think. It doesn’t matter that it’s really too small for what I need, it’s the magic of that moment when I came out and found it on the counter — the medicine of that attention, care, and love that matters so much, makes me so grateful for him. He also bought me lilies, so I had flowers in the bathroom this week.

3. Practice. Writing with my Friday morning sangha, sitting in meditation in my practice room, and doing yoga with Ringo in the living room.

4. Family. A lot happened this week — my uncle was placed in memory care (he has Lewy’s Body Dementia) and during his first week they had a outbreak of the stomach flu and he got sick, my aunt was in the hospital in the ICU until her heart finally gave out and stopped, the considerations and complications of my mom’s care continues, and there were a lot of related texts and emotional work.

There was also sweetness — we had a quiet day eating good food (Eric made me an apple pie, a recipe that uses apple cider and maple syrup for sweetness) and resting and being grateful for our tiny family, our small house, our little life. And even though we were here and they were there, both our families got together to eat — our remaining parents, sibling, nieces and nephews, and great grandkids. At Mom’s, my nieces did all the cooking while my brother entertained the littles, giving them ads from the newspaper and telling them to cut out pictures of what they wanted for Christmas. Mom seemed happy, and I’m sure she enjoyed the food and the company.

5. My tiny family, small house, little life. There are a lot of things in my life that I didn’t get right, a lot of mistakes and bad choices, but this little life here with them isn’t one of those. In this case, I feel like I did everything right.

Bonus joy: how Ringo has stared finally using the bed under my writing desk — he’s there right now (Eric called back a bit ago, “Is he back there with you?”) and I just sighed and Ringo answered back with his own and I could live in that moment forever, apple pie and other yummy leftovers, plans for dinner with our friends, clean sheets, my weighted blanket, white cheddar popcorn, blankets, down blankets and pillows, wool socks and sweaters, how cute Ringo is in his new coat, good books, listening to podcasts, watching TV and movies, naps, aqua aerobics, the hydromassage chair, the sauna, how when Eric gets bored and doesn’t know what else to do he cleans, pay day, online shopping (seriously, ever since COVID, shopping in person if it’s not for groceries or pet supplies is something I just don’t like — too much noise and too many people and they are all touching everything), libraries and librarians and being able to get eBooks for my Kindle, poetry and poets, the birthday watercolor Chloe’ painted for me, twinkle lights, reading in bed at night while Eric and Ringo sleep.