Gratitude Friday

1. I’m fully vaccinated! So far, my reaction to the second round is pretty mild, a headache with short boughts of dizziness and nausea, totally manageable and absolutely worth it. I am so grateful to have made my goal: to not get COVID-19 before I had the vaccine or it was no longer a threat. This was my goal way back when this all started, before they knew when or if there would be a vaccine. I know this isn’t a guarantee of anything, but my hope is that it means if I do get sick, I won’t end up in the hospital or die from it, that I’m less likely to infect someone else, and that it’s as safe as it’s ever going to be to visit my family, who I haven’t seen in two years now.

2. Signs of spring. Foxes (Eric finally saw one of the babies this morning), more bird song in the mornings, lingering light at night, osprey out hunting along the river, things turning green, budding and blooming, the port-o-potties gone from the park, and another round of snow.

3. Comfort. Being retired so that my schedule is my own and I can do what I want, what I need for myself; sitting in the infrared sauna with Eric; getting in the pool; a massage; hot coffee with cocoa and tiny marshmallows; seeing a friend volunteering at the immunization center; the kindness and good humor of the other people working there; having Eric with me this time around; my super soft purple hoodie; wool socks; down blankets and pillows; a warm shower.

4. Morning walks. With the two storms we had come through, they were pretty gloomy this week, and it was muddy some of the time so we couldn’t get close to the river for too long. We saw lots of deer and foxes and heron.

5. My tiny family, tiny house, tiny life. My favorites.

Bonus joy: Janice coming back to the pool, hanging out and writing with Calyx, texting with Chelsey and Chloe’, texting with my mom and brother, cooking (thanks for teaching me the basics, Mom), reading (thanks to both my parents for giving me this), listening to podcasts, watching old episodes of 20/20, naan, sunshine, birds at the feeder, my daffodils about to bloom, acetaminophen, warm water, a big glass of cold clean water, my sense of smell and taste, how soft Ringo’s coat made of stars is, other people’s dogs, babies, all the people working so hard to keep us safe, practice.

1. Snow. We got about five inches overnight. The sun is out today and it’s already melting. Last year on this day, we woke up to nine inches — and this is why when you live here, you don’t plant anything in your garden or get your snow tires taken off until after May 15th.

2. Comfort. A hot cup of coffee and cocoa with tiny marshmallows on top, a crunchy Gala apple, getting money back on our taxes for the second year in a row, hanging out and writing with Calyx, down blankets and pillows, a warm shower, a shoulder massage from Eric, a full massage from Dana, grocery pickup, reading, a sleepy soft warm dog.

3. Practice. In particular, I’ve really been leaning in to my writing practice. Taking a class with Natalie Goldberg and rereading all her books is reminding me who I am, how to do this, and also some of the reasons why.

4. Morning walks. The last half of the week, because of the storm that was on its way, was so gloomy. We saw a heron, one of the fox parents, a few deer, and heard some wild turkeys. There are more birds and therefore more noise in the morning and everything is turning green.

5. My tiny family, my tiny house, my tiny life. I can’t believe Sam has already been gone for almost a year. I sometimes wonder if I’ll ever be ready for another dog. I think I will, (how could I not?), but after raising four and losing three, those losses all coming in what felt like the shortest ten years ever, all from cancer, I’m so brokenhearted and wary. And two of those losses are tangled up with others, losing Kelly right after Obi, and then losing Angela right after Sam. I’m needing a lot more space, time, and healing this time around. I also worry Ringo will be a hard dog to match, as he can be a real jerk. I adore him but it’s just the truth. Thankfully, for now he seems to be fine being the center of our attention, so we’ll keep taking our time, however long that might be.

Bonus joy: watching a movie while I cuddle up in my favorite corner of the couch, reading, writing practice, burritos and tacos, lemons and limes, pancakes with jam, talking with a neighbor about our dogs, seeing neighbors out walking their dogs, flowers, birds at the feeder and in the bird bath, podcasts (I am loving Mike Birbiglia’s “Working it Out,” it’s like a writing masterclass but funny), Spotify playlists (one called “Deep Focus” is one of my favorites to put on while I write), writing at the dining room table (honestly, it took me a long time to get used to this being my “office” but now I’m really enjoying being in the middle of things rather than tucked away in the back of the house), texting with my mom and brother and Chloe’, talking to my mom and dad on his 80th birthday, fresh eggs from Chloe’s chickens, making plans for projects that I don’t actually have to start today or ever, muffins, sitting with Eric in the infrared sauna, reading in bed at night while Ringo and Eric sleep.