Tag Archives: Dexter

#augustbreak2013 Day Eight

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Selfie

selfieI tried taking a new selfie this morning, but every one came out wrong. I looked tired and sad, old, droopy, wrinkly, bloated. Instead of continuing to try, feeling bad about how I looked, being hard on myself, I understood that it was 5 a.m., I am tired and sad, and that does make me look haggard (definition: “looking exhausted and unwell, especially from fatigue, worry, or suffering” — pretty accurate).

So instead I found a self portrait I’d taken earlier in the summer, with Dexter out of frame but happily lounging next to me. I was rested, relaxed, content, at ease, and you can see that in my face. I’m not doing it to deny who I am right now, but rather to remind myself that this is also who I am, still.

Gratitude Friday

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pdxsky
1. Visiting family in Oregon. It was a shorter trip this year, and having just lost Dexter I wasn’t necessarily at my best, but it was good to be there, with them. I went to my youngest niece’s softball tournament with my mom and dad, saw her pitch and my brother coach, watched movies with my mom (she made me a marionberry cobbler!), “met” the feral cat my dad has been taming (looked at it through a window because that’s as close as I could get), hung out a bit with my oldest niece, went to visit one aunt who lives on the coast with a few other aunts along for the ride, ate some seafood, played a new dice game, and walked on the beach. It’s nice to sink into the rhythms of their life, but it’s also good to get back to my own.

2. Walking on the beach. I was so happy to be there, but it was mixed with sadness because our trip last summer was our last before Dexter’s cancer diagnosis, the last time he’d be with us in that place, an innocent time before getting the worst news and I couldn’t help remembering, missing him.

3. Marionberries. You can only get them there, and I can’t eat enough to be satisfied — so good.

momscobbler4. Having a smart phone. I resisted it for so long, and still cringe each month when I have to pay the bill, but it sure is nice, especially when I am away from home and Eric can text me, send me pictures of my dog.

Bonus Joy: The way Sam squealed when he first saw me after I’d been away from him for six days.