Facing your fear, confronting your grief, softening to strong emotions and relaxing with discursive thoughts, staying with reality rather than getting hooked by a story or grasping at hope, letting go, surrendering instead of running away or rejecting or numbing out, is like lifting weights, like strength training–-the more you do it, the stronger you get, the more solid your confidence and courage become, the more open and whole your heart, the more complete and fulfilling your life.

And when the next wave of pain or suffering comes, it’s not so likely to knock you down. You will be less apt to freak out or fall over. You might even find that the strength of your core, the power of your presence is such that you stand as it washes over you, heart open and mind calm and surrounded by love even as your heart breaks.

The point is: the bad stuff won’t stop coming, won’t go away. There is no safe place, no ground to stand on that won’t continue to shift and change under your feet. What will happen is you will be able to stay with it, clarity and compassion and wisdom will arise, and you will find yourself rising up to meet it, strong and tender even if you are terrified.

You’ve got this. You know what to do. You are loved and you are not alone.