Kat asks, “What are the signs that you are on fire?” What is the catalyst for the feeling, what do you love so much about it when something really gets you going, when something resonates with your soul, when you are really turned on by something, when something lights you up? “Sink into the feelings and capture them as accurately as you can.”

Being on fire for me describes that “hell yeah” moment. It’s clarity, confidence, certainty. Everything goes still and quiet, the mind chatter and outside noise falls away and all I can hear is the voice inside saying “this.”

Sometimes this feeling comes before a thing actually happens, before I can be absolutely certain, sure that it will, like when I knew Ringo was my dog before Sherry had decided which puppy we’d get.

Sometimes it’s the same moment something is happening. I just know it’s right. I relax and let it happen, I don’t try to control or force it. It feels like when you give up the struggle in the water and float. I’m excited and surprised, but there is a deep sense of “of course this is happening, it’s exactly as it should be.” Like when Andrea Scher asked me to be her teaching assistant for Mondo Beyondo.

Then there are times I’m on fire, want something so badly, can see it so clearly, but am not sure it will work out, experience a strange mix of utter confidence and crushing doubt. Knowing I can’t live without something but unsure if I’ll have it. This happened for the first two years I knew Eric. It also happened for years with my desire to be a writer.

Calm, stillness, complete confidence in the rightness of a thing. More and more I find this, live this, as I get clearer about what I want, who I am, and I honor it.

Kat’s prompt today is “What would your perfect work day be like?” This is an exercise I’ve done before, a way I’m almost living. My perfect work/life day would start with waking up early, at least by 5 a.m. I’d get a cup of coffee and write my morning pages. Then I’d go for a long walk with the dogs, and after I might go to the gym or a yoga class. I’d come home, shower, eat, and meditate. Then I’d write or work on a project for a few hours before stopping for lunch. After I ate, I’d meet with a friend or client, then take another walk with the dogs. Then I’d read or do some more writing. Some days, I would teach.

It’s pretty simple really, pretty much the way my days already go — except for when I’m on contract at CSU. Then, other than what the dogs need, that becomes the priority…for now.

I’m so clear about the other things I’m doing, going to do.

• Write books, there are two waiting, right on the tip of my tongue, ready to go
• Teach yoga
• Teach in person workshops, some mix of yoga, meditation, and writing
• Teach online classes, there are five right there at my finger tips, ready to go once I have time
• Lead people through retreats, small groups or individuals
• Creative collective offerings with other teachers
• Submit shorter pieces for publication
• Study to become a meditation instructor in the Shambhala lineage, which is a big deal, takes a lot of effort and time, will be like getting another graduate degree
• Make art, create things
• Do some kind of one on one work with people, I’m not sure exactly what it would look like or if I’ll need extra certification for it
• Lead book, writing, meditation, contemplation groups
• Host story bowls
• Open a retreat center, a house in Waldport where I can host retreats, offer the space to others for personal retreats, make a great vacation space that would inspire and enable people to practice, fill it with what they’d need to do so
• Rest, at the end of this long list of things, it’s necessary