Something Good

We haven’t had foxes here for so long, and I miss them. Image from Unsplash

1. Planting Iris from Austin Kleon. This made me cry, but also made me feel better.

2. That Time You Failed to Follow Up on Diversity. “If you care, you need to care all the time. Not on Hallmark holidays. Not when you fuck up and someone notices. And not when you hire your first female partner. All. The. Time.”

3. New Crop of Young Adult Novels Explores Race and Police Brutality. “Some educators see fiction as a particularly potent tool for engaging with volatile topics and instilling empathy in young readers.”

4. The Perils of Nowherelandia from Jena Schwartz.

5. Actions White People Can Take To Confront Racism & Be In Greater Solidarity.

6. ‘The Birth of a Nation’ Is an Epic Fail. “From its depictions of black women to the representation of slavery itself, Nate Parker’s film is deeply flawed and historically inaccurate.”

7. The Body Sovereignty Workbook from Rachel Cole, a fundraiser for feminist causes. “Your body is yours, despite all the forces conspiring from the day you were born to tell you otherwise. The Body Sovereignty Workbook will help transform the story you tell yourself about your body into a life-changing narrative. It includes 83 beautiful digital pages of essays by 10+ women’s empowerment experts, worksheets, and activities to support your cultivating an empowered relationship with your body.”

8. Bright Lights, a new documentary from Jen Lee. “As live storytelling grows into a cultural phenomenon, six performers share their journey into its spotlight. The friendships they’ve formed are an anchor as their voices reach beyond the stages of New York City into publishing, radio, international art festivals and film.”

9. Good stuff for creatives from Jamie Ridler: 10 Things I Want You to Know When You Are Discovering or Recovering Your Creative Heart and 10 Things I Want Committed Creatives to Know.

10. 4 Step Guide to Letting Go of the Past from Zen Habits.

11. The Four Noble Truths of Love with Susan Piver, one of my favorite teachings from one of my favorite teachers. “Buddhism is based on Four Noble Truths: Everything changes; grasping creates suffering; there is a way to work with it all; and a path for doing so. Join writer and Buddhist teacher Susan Piver for practice, discussion, and an exploration of how to apply these truths to that greatest of mysteries: love.”

12. Free dog themed desktop wallpapers. I’ve got “all you need is love, and a dog” on my computer.

13. Recipes I want to try: Oven-Roasted Sweet Potato Wedges, and Creamy Spring Pasta, and Old Fashioned Sour Cream Doughnuts.

14. Write it Down, a great post on journaling practice.

15. The surprising origins of your f*cking favorite swear words.

16. OutFront: Couple Creates Media Network for Black Queer Community.

17. Food is Love. “Years ago, this chef had a door closed on him by a trusted friend and mentor. Today, he’s thanking that friend for setting him on the path that ultimately changed his life. WATCH him surprise his old mentor, with a meal that proves why food really is the other love language.”

18. Hair Today Art Tomorrow.

19. Colin Kaepernick Is To The NFL What Black People Are To America. “Hatred of the quarterback among NFL owners feels all too familiar.” In related news, Colin Kaepernick Donates $50,000 to Meals on Wheels. IMHO, he’s too good for football.

20. Only Black People Showed Up To The DC Town Hall Meeting To Address The Surging Number Of Missing Black And Latina Girls.

21. For Migrants Headed North, the Things They Carried to the End.

22. Papercut Artist Puts Life into Paper.

23. This Guy Secretly Filmed Himself And His Girlfriend Jamming Out To Prince And It’s Adorable. #BlackBoyJoy + #BlackGirlMagic = I love this so much.

24. Never Forget: America’s Forgotten Mass Lynching: When 237 Black Sharecroppers Were Murdered In Arkansas. “The white elites of the region understood that the only way they could maintain their economic prosperity was to exploit Black sharecroppers and laborers.” No one was ever charged and there were no trials. This is still happening. #BlackLivesMatter In related news, This Interactive Map Reveals The History Of Lynching In America.

25. Honest Wedding Vows for Real Marriages. These are so beautiful, and true. I told Eric I’d marry him again, but only if we said these vows, (minus the kid stuff, of course).

26. A Tribute to Amy Krouse Rosenthal by Dave Eggers.

27. Wild Writing with Laurie Wagner. Classes start the first week of April, and there are still a few spots left. Seriously one of the most transformative practices ever with one of the best teachers. (I just realized that this is #27 on my list, and Laurie’s website is “27 Powers”).

28. This Black Queer Love Story Is Exactly What The Comic World Needs.

29. 11 ways white America avoids taking responsibility for its racism. “White people are all too quick to cite their good intentions. Unconsciously, they aim to preserve white supremacy.”

30. How to stop stressing so you can change the world.

31. 10+ Super Happy Animal Comics That’ll Make Your Monday.

32. Macro Monday Brings the First Official Mystery Macro Contest. These are fun, and they remind me of something from when I was a kid — there was a children’s magazine that included the same kind of challenge images in the back of every issue. Any one else remember that magazine?

33. What if I’m wrong? A self-guided practice of empathy from Paul Jarvis. “Assuming we’re 100% right, 100% of the time is a recipe for never growing, never learning, never changing (for the better).” This is such a great reminder, especially now.

34. Use These Words At The End Of Your Emails To Increase Your Chance Of Getting A Reply.

35. Community shows support for Islamic Center of Fort Collins. The community has also rallied their support this way.

36. Good Night Stories for Rebel Girls, “a children’s book packed with 100 bedtime stories about the life of 100 extraordinary women from the past and the present, illustrated by 60 female artists from all over the world.”

37. People, Prosperity, and Profit from Staci Shelton. “Imagine a world where we were so busy creating glorious things that we had neither the time or desire to oppress anyone, much less ourselves.”

38. The House Next Door: a diary from Jeff Oaks.

39. Simply put, social justice is about human flourishing from Desiree Adaway.

40. 9 Great Documentaries about Women Activists.

Activism for Introverts and Highly Sensitive People

As you might already know, kind and gentle reader, I am an introvert and a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP). Because of this I prefer dialogue over debate, connection over confrontation, individuals or small groups over large crowds, quiet over noise, calm over chaos. To be completely honest, most of the time I prefer to be alone.

I used to say, “I’m not a very political person.” I’d joke that if people were on opposite corners of the street carrying signs and chanting about the various ways they opposed each other, I’d be more likely to show up with sandwiches for everyone than to grab a sign and join a group on a corner. I had strong opinions, voted, donated money to various causes, used my social media and blog to share information and marginalized voices, but I wasn’t what’s traditionally considered “active.”

Now I understand that perspective as a manifestation of my privilege. I could stay out of politics because for the most part it had very little impact on me or my daily life. I’m white, married to a white man, a “dink” (double income, no kids), college educated, a documented citizen, able bodied, neuro-typical, conventionally-ish attractive, live in a liberal area, a homeowner, cisgender, pass as straight, work at a university in the College of Liberal Arts, a native English speaker, have health insurance through my work (along with paid sick leave and retirement), and have no criminal record. Did I mention I’m white? Things are pretty easy for someone like me.

So even with the election of this new president, my personal experience won’t necessarily change. However, what has become very clear to me, in the past decade in particular, is that isn’t good enough. It will never be good enough. As long as we continue to be a culture where white supremacy is embedded in every institution, and people who look like me willingly do harm to people of color, gladly oppress those who are different, actively generate suffering for others in order to maintain those systems and that privilege, I can’t be quiet or still.

And yet, this presents a clear dilemma for me: I am an introvert and a highly sensitive person. What does it mean for me to be “active”?

Here are some ideas:

  • Take care of myself. It’s important to prioritize self-care, for all the reasons we always hear about – not being able to pour from an empty cup, putting on our oxygen mask before helping someone else with theirs, that making an offering from our own suffering only generates more suffering. It’s essential to maintain my own sanity and wellbeing, so I can be of benefit. I must practice (yoga, meditation, writing), train my own mind, learn to work with my own emotions, feel what I am feeling. I ask for help if I need it. Sometimes that means a therapist, sometimes that means cancelling plans or texting a friend. I practice self-compassion. I pace myself. I take time for creative practice. I make space. I try not to lose my sense of humor, (my go to antidote here is to search YouTube for blooper reels from my favorite shows and movies). I loved what Ethan Nichtern had to say recently on the subject, “In times of fear and stress, sleeping, eating well, and exercise are the first things to evaporate. Let’s make sure they don’t. It all starts at home, and the first thing we need to do is take good care of our own bodies.”
  • Educate myself, about everything. I’ve been reading about the history of issues I care about, as well as the current state of affairs, trying to pay attention to as many people of marginalized and oppressed populations as possible. Besides reading, I also listen. I filled my social media feeds with those same people, along with many activists. Most importantly, in situations where I’m not an expert (i.e. pretty much all of them), I listen before I act. I check my own ideas against what’s already been said and done, and look to those already doing the work, those with the knowledge about skillful action, to understand what I can do to help. I’ve joined some really great mailing lists like My Civic Workout, subscribed to things like the Safety Pin Box, and am taking lots of classes like Hard Conversations: An Introduction to Racism.
  • “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are,” (Theodore Roosevelt). I asked myself, “What can I already do? What are my skills? What do I have to offer?” I’m a yoga and writing teacher, and a meditation instructor, so I looked for ways I could offer those things as service. I started to take local action, learning about the issues in my home town, county, and state, and the ways I could help make change where I live. I can sometimes feel overwhelmed by the national and global issues, but by bringing my view down to the level of my own community, my neighbors, it feels more workable to me. Doing good things for people I know, am connected to, is more doable.
  • Make offerings. I enable the activism of others, offer help, support them however they might need. I look to see who is already doing the work, and I donate and volunteer to help them. I practice generosity and kindness whenever the opportunity to do so arises. I lovebomb.
  • Use my voice. I can write my congress people, an op-ed, a blog post, or a letter to a person I know needs encouragement to hang in there or even to do better. I can use social media to share information and amplify marginalized voices.
  • Build confidence. I sometimes will challenge myself to just one hard thing, something I’ve never done before, and see what happens, knowing I’ll need to allow for extra time to prepare and time to repair after. For example, the first time I called my congressperson (gah, I hate talking on the phone), I wrote a script to use, but I still cried as I read it, in part because I was nervous but in part because I was so angry and concerned about the issue and was overwhelmed by it, and I needed a few days of rest after. Sometimes I’ll bribe myself, “if you do this, then you can spend the whole day in your pjs tomorrow, reading or watching tv.” I show up to things, taking a buddy if I can, staying near a door, taking breaks or leaving early if I need to. In situations where I feel insecure or unprepared, and where support is offered by someone more skillful and experienced, I get trained, certified, or otherwise empowered. For example, in a few weeks I’ll be starting the Coaching as Activism Program.
  • Cultivate community. As an introvert, I need time alone, but I also need to feel connected to people – really, truly, and deeply. Some of the ways I’ve done that are to: Start a book couple, (one friend to read and discuss a book with, rather than a whole group). Go to a movie, like “I Am Not Your Negro” (a documentary about James Baldwin), and then go out for dinner or coffee and discuss it. Get a group of my favorite people together once a month to share and support each other, maybe over dinner or a collective creative project. Designate an ally – a therapist or friend that is my “go to” person in a crisis. Surround myself with good people.
  • Seek guidance and inspiration. I look to the people and projects I admire and trust. I take their advice, follow their lead, allow them to vet what is important, and to recommend what I should pay attention to or take part in. I read, watch movies, listen to music – because art can be activism, and it can be medicine.
  • Focus my energy. I trust myself to know what to do, when, as well as when to wait or even opt out altogether. I know my limits and triggers, and I honor them. I maintain boundaries. I give myself the time and space I need. I limit my time online, am careful what I read, make sure to fact check everything, and take a break when I’m feeling overwhelmed — How to Avoid Being Psychologically Destroyed by Your Newsfeed was a helpful post in that regard.

Back in November, when I first brainstormed the outline for this post, I couldn’t find much already written on the subject. Since then, more has been written, and the search results were much better when I tried again.